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For years you gave him your all, stayed loyal, speaking respectfully, bringing out his potential, only for him to break up with you & snatch the world from under your feet. So why does he want to keep you around, texting you & acting jealous when HE is the one who ended it? Because he’s using you to learn from you & better himself for the side chick or next woman he meets after you, who will reap all the benefits of the man you molded him to be, because you were more of his mother than his woman. #EbrahimAseem This is why he will never marry you.
By: Ebrahim Aseem
Follow me for more articles like these: http://Facebook.com/AEAseem
http://RealNewsPaper.me
Once a man breaks it off with you, he can love you, but he can never be IN LOVE with you again, nor look at you the same way. In his mind you’re damaged goods, but he knows he still have feelings for you. So he wants to use your “feelings” to stroke his ego & make up for the inadequate way he feels about his life, his career, his education, his living situation or his wasted potential.
He does this so your attention can build him back up & he can have the courage to pursue a new woman who knows nothing about all the mistakes he’s made & flaws he overcame, like you know.
Nurturing an unaccountable man’s potential makes him resist your help out of resentment. He knows his apologies write checks his inconsistent actions can’t cash. Men want respectful critique. No man wants to be condescendingly babied. #EbrahimAseem The same man who withheld patience, affection, providing & commitment from you will use all that advice you taught him on the next woman.
Too often I’m verbally accountable for my mistakes to my woman, yet my argumentative actions prove hypocritical. This discourages Brie. Then I’ll selfishly have nerve to confuse her discouraged disposition with disrespect. No. If I was man enough to make my actions match my words, I wouldn’t hallucinate about being spoken to like a child. A woman treats you according to your consistency of actions, not your pretty words. I must do better. I must live up to the potential I showed her in the beginning, so I won’t lose my meal, who stays looking like a snack, chasing the crumbs of narcissism. #EbrahimAseem
Nurturing an unequally yoked man is unattractive to him. It makes him feel he’s not good enough for you. You can cook, clean, sex him good & be patient with his mistakes, and he will still break up with you or cheat on you, to convince his inadequate mind he’s in higher demand than you. #EbrahimAseem
This is why inadequate men chase the bad bitch fantasy girl who looks nothing like you. To purposely bring your confidence down to his low-level, so you’ll feel as inadequate as you make him feel by loyally nurturing potential he never shows. #EbrahimAseem He will view you as his mother, pouring time & affection into side chicks. All the while, using you to reach his potential for the next woman after you.
Men don’t neglect who they see a future with. If he’s not making time & effort without you having to ask, he’s using your ‘investment in his potential’ as practice for the next woman he really wants after you. #EbrahimAseem
Men want a woman who sees him as a leader, not a boy she needs to always tell what to do. If he’s not a consistent leader & provider, why are you settling for him?
You never realize how much affection, patience & respect you deserve, #EbrahimAseem until you finally walk away from the selfish, loyal user you were settling for.
Queen, it’s not your job as a woman teach your man how to be one, provide, work, listen, understand & comfort you. The man who’s meant for you will already know how to understand you. #EbrahimAseem Don’t get “being his woman” confused with “being his mother”. Stop raising grown ass men.
If you always have to tell him what to do for him to do it, he’s not for you. Walk away before he uses you to learn how to attract the woman he really likes. #EbrahimAseem
Girls will see red flags, yet stay years waiting for a guy to reach potential. Fear of seeing him reach his potential with a woman he chose after she invested all of those years keeps her loyal to his complacency. #EbrahimAseem
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Stop molding him into a man for the next woman.
Girls will ‘give their all’ stressing over pain to fix a broken man with potential, instead of just choosing the loyal, equally yoked, handsome man she wanted in the first place. #EbrahimAseem There is nothing wrong with you. You are not to giving, too nice or too nurturing. I prayed for my future wife before I met her. Every night I’d think to myself,
I want a nurturing woman who’s required my apologetic words to match my consistent actions. That’s Brie. She’s sweet, affectionate & likes to cuddle pinch my cheeks, rub my beard, rub her feet on my leg, poke me in my arm repeatedly, only so I’ll grab her & tickle her until her pretty, bright smile shines like the midnight moon. #EbrahimAseem
I want a woman who cares so much, about animals, nature life, who will treat my dog like she’s her own child. Who I can surprise at work with 1-800 Flowers & chocolate & she won’t think it’s corny. #EbrahimAseem A woman I can take to the beach at night & gaze at the stars with, while I rub her feet & recite poetry to her.
I want an intelligent, nerdy women who likes random facts, animal planet & the universe. I want a deep thinking woman who likes to converse. #EbrahimAseem I want a sweet woman who likes home decor & picking out patterns for my living room.
Let’s have a mall date, I’ll take your pretty ass to Sephora for an hour-long shopping spree. You can get whatever you like on me get pretty for our dinner & opera date that night. #EbrahimAseem
I want a sweet girl I can take to a Jill Scott concert, a comedy show, to hear live jazz. #EbrahimAseem Let’s have bbq lunches in the park & dates to the zoo. I’m kid at heart. I want to wife a Woman who’d let me bring my little niece on a date WITH us to the aquarium, paintballing, or the park for a water balloon & water gun fight. #EbrahimAseem I love to laugh & have fun & I need that in a Woman.
I want a sweet girl with an old soul who has so much love & affection to give. I have dated the self proclaimed “bad bitch” before, & I must confess, their pretty, sexy, fine, curvy asses bored the hell out of me. #EbrahimAseem Silly, goofy, sweet, corny, nerdy, healthy, home designing, wedding shower planning, baby fever having women are everything life has to offer.
I want to reach some of my potential before I make my fiancée my wife. I don’t want her to feel she has to teach me how to be a man, that was my father’s job. #EbrahimAseem
I don’t have a perfect relationship. Too often, I argue with my woman Brie, which frustrates her, because I’ll seek to be understood by her, when in that moment, I need to understand her. She shouldn’t have to keep telling me this same thing repeatedly. #EbrahimAssem
When our woman repeats things in a respectful tone of voice, she’s not “nagging”. She’s offering you growth. Don’t make her have to repeat things. Do the thing yourself so she won’t have to repeat it, it’s simple. #EbrahimAseem
I learned I need to meditate on what she repeats, then understand her instead of seeking to be understood by her. Then I must have faith the Holy Spirit will put it on her heart to give me a chance to do things, instead of her assuming I won’t & repeating it. If she can look deep inside me & see growth enough to stay with me past my flaws & mistakes, I have to be her peace, & let her be my growth. I can’t let pride lose me the best thing that ever happened to me, Brie. I’m mos def learning. Love is a door & communication is key. A nag is a horse, not a respectful woman.
I just want to give her two rings, our two children and two dogs, two trips overseas per year, two cars, but most of all, I want to give her two words, I do. I apologize. Please forgive. I’ll listen. Stay baby. Don’t go. I’m growing. You’re everything. Ebrahim & Brie. Infinity forevers. #EbrahimAseem & every real man wants a nurturing woman too.
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By: Ebrahim Aseem
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women”
Facebook.com/AEAseem
Instagram: @Fuel4TheBODY
Website: http://RealNewsPaper.me
Motivational #SpeakLife vidoes: Youtube.com/RealNewsmagazine
Booking: AEAseem@gmail.com
I am a chef, motivational speaker & 13-year-mentor for men. I travel the globe speaking life into men at universities. I write new articles every thursday & travel, speaking life into groups of 100s of men at universities & corporations worldwide. I am African-Hebrew.
Want to hear me sing?
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Ebrahim Aseem
Real News 
Wow.. I am feeling some what be%we already. And alittle less confused on the way my RELATION ship has been. I am truely a good hearted & lobbing & caring wife but as time goes by, he gets more distant & I am so torn as why.. I have literally been physicality I’ll over this for awhile now.. And your little article just really opened my eyes a lot.. But, What to do now? I love him so much & yet starting to feel myself feeling like I need to leave because nothing I do is good enough any more & it has got me torn to that point ..no matter how bad it’s going to hurt me to just walk away.. After 14 yrs.. Please don’t make this public.OK? Thank you
Amazing!!!
This is the most beautiful thing I have read! I appreciate every word that you have shared and making me feel special just by reading those words! I don’t want to share too much but it definitely brought tears to my eyes and any woman who gets to have you is truly blessed to have a strong, poetic, well informed man… God bless!
This is the most beautiful thing I have read! I appreciate every word that you have shared and making me feel special just by reading those words! I don’t want to share too much but it definitely brought tears to my eyes and any woman who gets to have you is truly blessed to have a strong, poetic, well informed man… God bless! Congrats on all of your accomplishments…
The push back I’ve experienced from having such standards has been interesting. A couple of my platonic male friends have actually told me I’ve changed for the worse and have become materialistic because I only date men that have their lives together, are on their career paths, and isn’t looking for my help to get it together. And I’ve been on that “help him become a man” side of the game. It was truly so draining and unfruitful.
Love this piece.
Laying here in tears bc this has happened to me. Never looked at my action from that perspective and how it looked in the eyes of my partner. Thank you for this article. It really opened up my eyes. Stay blessed 😊
Absolutely. You nailed it. But imagine how that girl you described is feeling right now out here refusing to nurture to the point of enabling, while striving to trust herself enough to know that “The One” is anywhere as “over” this Dog and Pony Show” as she is.
Just overall refreshing read…,, give me more!
I appreciate this so much. Definitely spoke to me in many ways.
This thread is confirmation 💪☺✔💯on so many levels.
That will be nice to have all those things . I was that girl giving my all to the wrong selfish bastard . Because that’s all I know how to do , is to give . I guess its all up to God cause I was so wrong for only being me loving and wanting more from a man that never wanted me .
wow! so happy I read this
Wow. What a great article!! Ebrahim, this is a lightbulb moment for many women! I appreciate what you do to remind women to let their light and their inner Goddess shine. And that reminder that men DO INDEED love strong women! Do lots of men read your blogs too?
You have done it again. A lot of the topics that you discuss really resonate with me. GOD is really using you to speak to a lot of women of knowing their self worth and realizing they too are responsible for the kind of man we attract in our lives. I have been in the situation and walking away was one of the best things for me. When I started focusing on GOD, things started coming into fruition. Now, I realize what kind of man I desire and the woman who gets you will be truly blessed. GOD bless you my brother .
A lot of the suggestions in your commentary are on the mark a lot of young men and maybe some older men should read your commentary especially if you are making mistakes in relationships this would be a good read for you to get a different perspective on what you doing wrong.
Wow! Not really on the internet like that. But I truly believe that GOD sent me here this morning. Cried my heart and soul out last night for a man that I loved with all my heart. You talk about nurturing. Took care of all his needs! even financially because I just wanted to be loved. The sex was awesome and I just couldn’t imagine somebody else getting it. So I put up with a lot of bull crap, lies, rejection, manipulation and eventually not answering my phone calls. And I did everything for this man. Hadn’t been intimate for 5 yrs. and it felt good. We used to laugh, go out have good times together. Even talked about marriage. And then BOOM! From out of no where, he started talking about God not approving of us having sex without being married. And we tried to do the right thing, but then he started drifting off, moving his things back in his sister’s house little by little. So I started snooping, he’s sleeping with other women. Why couldn’t he just come to me and talk and tell me he no longer wanted to be in the relationship. Still stringing me along. Now I’m so hurt, bitter and angry, I want REVENGE! for playing with my heart and my emotions.
Hello sister,
Whatever you do don’t ask for revenge, just pray for him and ask God for strenght. God will handle him for you. You might never know it but he will pay for it one way or another! Take some time to focus on your self so when you cross path with him he will regrets his lost. Remember God will send the right one at the right time, but you must be ready when it arrived.
Be blessed and stay focus! It’s not easy but you can do it.
Mimi
I’ve spent this week crying as well. And I’m bitter and angry too. I feel betrayed and used. So I know exactly how you feel. This morning after my breakdown (which is the norm now) I wrote a letter to my ex detailing the relationship and all the hurt that I’ve ended up with. Though it’s not to be sent to him, just truly saying all that as though I was speaking to him seems to be helping. I’m feeling a bit better now. Do try that and remember that you deserve only the best. So eventually you will be happy again. So just focus on being the beautiful soul that you already are and making it even more beautiful
If God did not tell him those words, you would have ended up a baby momma and he would still of had the side chick, while you are at home looking for diapers and milk for his child that he does not support. God knew why you both should not have sex until marriage.
You are really blessed. You should be crying tears of JOY.
If you haven’t found that woman, she’s me dude.. Hahaha. Best read so far 2016!! Turns out, I’ve been a mother all along!! And to think I was considering lowering my standards to accommodate the next man in my life. Thanks!! Even as a relationship expert; this is exactly what I needed.
powerful words and great advice
Wow, talk about the truth hurts. U never really know the extent of ur situation until u hear it from another perspective. It’s a bad situation to be in when ur not with someone who is for u. You want to fight for ur family but u don’t know if it will always be a constant battle. This article was an eye opener.
Finally! A man that gets it!!!
Wonderful!
This is absolutely wonderful! Completely relatable. Very sincere.
“I want to reach my potential before I meet my wife. She won’t have to teach me how to be a man, that was my father’s job.”
Truly, well said.
I have lived your article over and over again til my heart literally bled…have been with him for over 23 years married for 18 to this guy he has had a relationship with several women that I know of and has a child out of wedlock the same age as my second child…I have left this person over and over again physically and mentally, reaching out for advice from those who tell me well you’ve been with him this long no point in leaving…but my common sense knows different and yet I stayed…afraid of the very things that you mentioned and feel that its too late to turn it off…I feel so much better knowing that I’m not the only one in the world with this issue…I am ready for my freedom and will take everything you mentioned to heart…I don’t even worry for me as much as I am concerned with my daughter watching her dad not treating her mom like the Queen I want a man some day to treat her…I don’t want her to believe that forcing someone to love you a certain way is the way that love works…I know it’s not true so it’s time to make a move…I was holding on telling myself that I have too much stuff to move, or the kids will miss their dad…just coming up with excuses when the real reason was right in my face and I knew it…I am afraid to see him move on and do better for someone else when I have to argue and fuss for him to do better for me or even himself…I know it wont happen as long as I am with him…so pray for me my journey is about to begin and I don’t want to tell people that think that they know me…that’s why I am telling you because you know me so well….thanks for this article it is a blessing to me if no one else, I wish you many blessings….thanks again!
I have lived this for the last seven years and I knew it; however, the way you put it was so real and eye-opening. Thanks so much. God uses people to convey certain messages and he definitely uses you :). I am in behavior field and eight classes away from my dr. Degree and this one I could not explain….God uses me for other messages that just come natural to me and clear as light bulbs. I pray for the guy who I speak of and hope he realizes his potential and self-worth; I am realizing mine and happier for it. I think you put the icing on the cake for me. God Bless u.
Kudos to the moon and back our brother… Much love and respect for your insightfulness!!
I Love this ….Single moms are not recognized enough. … This article is so real about single mothers and women period…..
This has been me, but now i pull out as its not too late for me. Thank you
very beautiful.. this is incredible
This was sooooo awesome, wish I had someone like you in my life with this type of insight, when I was “looking” for a man. I was always the one to see the potential, not the for real and that’s where I went wrong. After years of heartbreak, drama, tears, thinking I was gonna die without-(him). I have come learn a few things. Now I’m at an age that I can look back at what I have done in my life and see where I went wrong. I’m on a journey to know me, I never knew “me”. I’m more peaceful now and open to someone that is loving, caring and on the same level as me. But if I don’t get that, it’s not the end of the world.It’s a wonderful thing to hear a man that can actually tell you something about men. I was raised to believe that in order to be whole, you had to have a man, no matter what kind-just a man! I didn’t raise my 4 daughter’s like that, I raised them to be independent women, capable of taking care of themselves. And when the right man comes along, you can be free to follow your hearts. Because love IS a 2 way street, give and take, ups and downs, ins and outs.
wish every man would get to read this….Amazing!
This made me cry.
Can i marry you
Just brilliant!
Nurturing an unequally yoked man is unattractive to him. It makes him feel he’s not good enough for you. You can cook, clean, sex him good & be patient with his mistakes, and he will still cheat on you, to convince his inadequate mind he’s in higher demand than you.
#EbrahimAseem
Waw this is the heart wrenching truth. Thanks for such words of understanding. It gives me hope that I’ll one day find what I’m looking for. I would luv to read more.😊
I think this was God sent, and i probably read at the right moment, coz i have this guy am liking a lot and its all starting out, i will make sure not to baby this one and let him be the man on his own accord, and so far he is doing great.
Wow! Very impressive love your mindset that’s the way a King suppose to treat his Queen God bless continue to awakening the people them one love
Great read! I just recently broke things off with someone that I thought was the “one”. He wasn’t a bad person, but for some reason he compared me to his mom all the time. I found myself in the exact situation that you speak of in this article. He would always tell me, I was everything a man need in a women, and that I was too good to be true. After a while he begin to look for small (childish) things to complain about or to be unhappy with. Luckily, it only lasted for one year before i just couldn’t take anymore. Left the relationship really confused but after reading this article, everything makes complete sense.
Yes a great Read for sure!!! – Reading your response Jessica was like you were in my life!! – My Hubby finds childish things to be distant and angry about now.I stuck around hoping he would get it, but in the process ignored my intuition for 11yrs now. I have 2 children, so it’s hard for me to break away. I applaud you for getting away before anymore time is wasted! Thanks for sharing..
For years I’ve wondered why I never got it in 15 yrs but she got it in 2…even after giving him 3 kids. Thank you for this, it was so informative and provided the closure I never got from him. Praying for the man God has for me and hoping this time, he’s similar to you. Amazing read!
Blessings and love
Wow! Your articulation is brilliant and your transparency is noteworthy! In case no one’s told you lately, King, I’m proud of you! You give me hope for a Black, revolutionary, it won’t be televised but live, pure, Heaven-sent, divine, God designed type of love! Keep writing and speaking your truths until it’s common knowledge! Salute to you!
Love this.
Thank you
Op thank you so much. Infact you just narrated my story nd experience from my last relationship. Everything written there is the truth. Nothing more. I regret ever trying to make him d best. Now my dumb ass was jilted nd my nurtured potentials was invested in another woman. I ve learnt my lesson in a hard way. And doing my best to be careful in my next relationship even tho I ve lost trust in guys. I can’t even tell of when I’d start loving another person again.
Awesome and inspiring words……
You have made it crystal clear what I have been feeling for quite some time! Thank you, thank you Thank you, for your words of kindness and wisdom. I never comment on these sites but you compelled me to do so! The woman that receives you will be very lucky. I now know what I have to do with my current situation…They say God will tell you one time and then you will hear it from other people…I have heard it from you and others. Thank you for sharing.
I feel so stupid and educated.
I thoroughly enjoyed this reading minus the b word. I am a single parent, concentrating on serving God, being a virtuous woman and parent to my 5 year old daughter, preparing myself to be a better me, daughter, sibling, parent, woman and wife. Awaiting a man that knows how to appreciate a woman and ready for a serious relationship and lifetime commitment in marriage and fatherhood.
This was beautiful and such a confirmation of what has been but also, what is to come. Patiently but productively waiting.
Ahhh, if only you were older…
This is everything. Thank you.
Thank you for these words. I learned this lesson the hard way and have been beating myself up about it for weeks. Finally dried the tears, but still had the questions. Never gave thought that may actions were detrimental. This hit me in the heart, but it’s the truth.
The truth sucks 😄
Thanks Ebrahim!
This post is definitely an eye opener. I read lots of psychology to try and figure out why things aren’t working out for me. Turns out I’ve been going about it the wrong way. Mothering men instead of going after someone on my level in the name of “starting from bottom” with him.
Definitely wouldn’t want to be in second place either when he decides to look for validation elsewhere.
You are that dream… May He send your dream according to His riches in glory… Merci beaucoup…
Well well well where do I start wow u don’t find many men like you wow you are rare and a lot of these words really spoke to me and gave me some clarity about myself I’m a single mother of two boys not by choice I’m struggling but yet and still I’m still standing I been thru a lot of hurt and pain by men I really dig when you said investing years in a man for him to only seek another woman I been thru that and it hurts like he’ll I invested years in a man and mind u he wasn’t even my boyfriend but we did gf bf things and only for him to be with another woman boy that thing hunted like he’ll and by reading what u said open my eyes a lot I will not make that same mistake I just want to be loved by a real man a god fearing man I see everyone around me married and in love and I ask the Lord hey I’m over here wanting love but I know my time will come wait patiently unto the Lord I tell myself I been thru so much hurt I could write a book but anyway keep up the good work the Lord is really blessing you to talk to these men abt certain situations it can change someone’s life for the better thank u for letting the god in you speak and not u yourself I needed to hear these things thank u
Will you marry me…..
Finally my question has been answered. My friends and I always wondered why men leave/cheat on their beautiful wives for something not even near equal to her both in beauty and brains. At least now I know the kind of man to keep away from
Woooooooooooooooooowwww!!! 😯😯😯 #ThatsAllICanSay…..woooooooooooooooowwwww!👐
Great Vision of what a woman who is LOVE material can do for you. Definitely spoke to the very essence of my soul. I’m so glad there are men like you out here helping the fellas get in touch with what is real. Instead of this hardcore macho objectifying behavior that is killing our relationships and belief in love…. what your seeking is seeking you…That’s for sure.I wouldn’t mind helping bring more messages like this to our black women and men. Thank you for your thoughts best regards!
Hy…thanx for the article youve open my eyes from the damn rshp i was in thanx alot……..
Where can I find a guy who thinks like you coz I am ready to pack and move there, tired of lousy men.
This article was the realist thing I have read. I was married 15 years to a cheater. I hung on praying as a Christian woman for God to change him, and the marriage. Nope, we are divorced. Divorced 4 years. He wanted his freedom so bad. He remarried. Now he can be faithful and tray another woman good. When I read the article it brought tears to my eyes. I was hurt hearing he got remarried. Here I have been single 4 years, only 2 dates. I am a quality woman who wasted 20 years on a no good, lying cheat. Who emotionally hurt me deeply. I pray for a man who loves God first and me. And all the qualities you listed. I learned a hard lesson. The next woman may get what you always asked for and wanted. I won’t settle this time. Reading the article inspired me even more. Where is my soul mate. I value me more now. I love me. I am a good woman and there is the man for me. Walks in the park, cooking, laughter etc
I’ve been in a relationship almost 14 yes&married almost 10:) I put all I have to give&sacrafice but I’m always put on a backburner plus barely no time he spends with me! I stay so depressed&cant sleep… I can’t take it anymore&found someone new but my insecurities&emotions push him away! Am I wrong for leaving&Im so scared of being hurt… Please help me our w/ this
I absolutely love the articles you write, its Real! You are a very strong minded man and its awesome that you are speaking to lead these young men down the right paths. I love reading your articles!