Why Women are so ATTRACTED to BAD Boys & Friend Zone GOOD Guys


Good guys get put in the friend zone, because they do not respect a woman enough to be honest and expose their flaws to her. This is where the ‘bad boy’ has the ‘good guy’ beat. By not hiding that fact he tends to be an asshole at times, he is showing her he’s not afraid to be somewhat honest with her, even if his honestly exposes his flaws.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody

IG: @Fuel4TheBODY

The bad boy may be an asshole, but at least she knows where he’s coming from. She has no idea where this ‘good guy’ is coming from. She grew up in a world full of boys who dog women. All of a sudden a guy is going to come swoop in her life respecting her? In her mind, she wonders, “my own brothers treat me like trash, why the hell are you being so nice to me?” She doesn’t trust it for the life of her. She thinks he is playing her.

You know what women hate more than a disrespectful asshole? A man who fronts, pretending to be so much of a ‘good guy’ in the beginning, only to switch up in the end.

Those one-dimensional corny lines they use are a dead give away.

[good guy]: Wyd?
[Strong Woman]: nothing, laying down.
[good guy]: without me? 😉
[Strong Woman]: * -_- slaps forehead. throws phone. Pours gasoline on phone. Lights phone on fire. Delete guy’s number from phone.

A male who behaves passive-aggressively is so unattractive to a woman. There’s nothing ‘good’ about a guy blowing up a woman’s phone, then when she doesn’t text back, saying, “oh, well I guess I’ll just stop bothering you then :(” What a wimp. This is not being a ‘good guy’ it is being a pain in the ass. Just because a woman has a vagina, does not mean a guy should behave like one with her. No strong woman wants a man to roll over for her, she wants a man who is strong like her, one who can sharpen her iron with his.

When a ‘good guy’ is way too nice to a woman for no apparent reason, she will put him in the friend zone solely based on suspicion.

Imagine a coworker following you to your car after work, carrying two dozen red long stem roses, saying, ‘I bought these for you, because I recognize your fragrance.’ Next, they pull out a 24-karat-gold charm bracket with their great-grandmother’s wedding ring on it and saying,

‘My great-granny died in the holocaust, anne if I can be Frank, I want you to wear this as a symbol of my undying appreciation for the jewel you are.’ What would you do? You would reject them and their gift. Is it good? Yes, it’s also creepy and undeserved.

Strong women get annoyed when guys give them undeserved admiration. When he gives her a level of ‘good’ she has yet to EARN, it makes her sick to her stomach, as she knows he’s being disingenuous. If he was really ‘good’, he’d value himself and her enough to reserve special treatment for when she’s EARNED it.

Despite an obvious lack of relationship skills, manners, respect for women and ability to commit to only one, the asshole is not afraid to show a woman his vulgar sense of humor. Good guys wrongly assume a woman with integrity doesn’t like to laugh at inappropriate things from time to time. This is why his boring ass gets friend zoned. There is nothing ‘good’ about a guy lacking spontaneity and boring a woman to death.

If you’re a woman who has only been attracted to ‘bad boys’, this does not mean you like assholes, you just might be attracted to confident, outgoing men, with a lil dangerous, spontaneous side to him. Unfortunately, ‘bad boys’ only pretend to posses these characteristics. If they truly possessed them, they wouldn’t have the need to insecurely play women. A bad boy needs multiple women, because he knows he lacks the ability to keep ONE woman stimulated on every level.

A mentally ascended MAN, can blow both your mind & your back out, But you keep ignoring warning signs & giving 2nd chances to that lame “bad boy” hoping he’ll “change” into his “potential”? Oh.

The remedy is not remove a ‘good guy’ from your friend zone to date, in fact, destroy your friend zone. The premise is insane. A true friend is rare. A true friend is a representation of the person you want to be. A friend is not one you place in a ‘undatable zone’.

Some people subconsciously keep people they’re un-attracted to around as a friend to stroke their ego. A friend zone is a weak-minded woman’s little ‘self esteem team’ comprised of good guys she let’s take her out for a free meal & buy her gifts. They are guys she can rely on to text her long paragraphs of admiration, whenever the ‘bad boy’ she really like short texts her and pays her no attention, because he is too busy playing the ‘bad boy’ role to impress the girl he really likes. This is a cycle of fakery.

The ironic truth is a ‘good guy’ and a ‘bad boy’ are actually the same person. They are two inverse forms of a persona insecure males play to attract women. He knows he can’t approach every woman the same, because they all respond to different things. With some women he plays ‘bad boy’ and with others he plays ‘good guy’. The role a male portrays to a woman is a manifestation of what he assumes she wants in a man.

‘Bad boys’ play on the fact some women like this type of man. He will constantly ignore her, short text her, sleep with multiple women in her face and starve her of attention, because he knows when you neglect a weak-minded woman, it only makes her like you more. She sees how a male treats her as a representation of her worth, so she will give more to a male who gives her so little, to prove to herself she didn’t make the wrong decision by choosing to give her heart to him in he first place.

A guy may be the bad boy you’re attracted to, but if he can’t give you constant reassurance you are his only one, he’s not the man for you.

A man may be the good guy you think you need, but if he can’t make your mind drip wet before he even touches your body, he’s not the man for you.

A woman’s mind is a pearl, vibrate that pearl with your vibe. Stimulate it via mental penetration. No woman wants to teach a grown man how to trEAT her like a treasure. Dive DEEP inside her mind, until her thoughts bust & flow all over your lips, her words riding your eardrums.‬

The way to make a woman bust is to penetrate her mind first. Hold her attention still with your loquaciousness & ease deep inside the lips of her soul, until her heart pulsates & drips wet blood through her veins, felt all over her body. A man on a woman’s highest mental level can make her condensate before even touching her, observe her body & know the exact notes to play to take her to the bridge, if you will.

Good guys and bad boys are too one-dimensional to achieve this. They are method actors play a role, only able to hit one note, unable to give a woman a multiple crescendo score.

A mentally mature man is too flawed to be considered a good guy, only because he is too real. He will not agree with everything a woman says, he will respect it, while having his own mind, yet he will not tell a woman to “shut up” outside the bedroom like a bad boy, instead, he will respectfully state his opinion.

A mentally mature man is tactful, yet inappropriately honest. He is serious yet vulgarly humorous. He is respectful to a woman’s body, yet romantically aggressive with a woman’s body. He can be gentle and soft one minute and romantically aggressive the next, because he knows a woman is not a thing or form of matter that is absolute. Her mind, her wants and her needs change, depending on how she feels at the time.

I am not perfect, I am extremely flawed and so unsatisfied with myself. Yet, I love myself too much to wear a good guy/bad boy mask, just to be accepted by a woman. Truth is, a mentally mature man is more respectful than a good guy can ever pretend to be, and more dangerous than a woman can even imagine a bad boy to be. Recently, I confessed the following to an intelligent young woman I like,

‘You don’t want to date me. Trust. I’m not as Nice as you think. I’m not a good guy as you may assume. I’m pretty rough and romantically aggressive. I like to respectfully manhandle a woman’s body during intimacy and make her mind submissive to me in the bedroom. I like wrapping my cuddle around my woman’s neck. Playing in her hair, rubbing and caressing her scalp, then wrapping it around my hands twice & playfully pulling it. Talking vulgar with my deep voice in her ear, whispering in it all the things I will do to her. Call me crazy, but I like a strong-minded woman who can take a little pain and find her pleasure from it.

If that’s not being a good guy, I couldn’t care less. Any guy can say he is good. I learned women don’t listen to a man’s words only, they listen to our actions. If my words don’t match my actions, how can you take me seriously? To me, a man does not care what subjective adjective others place him in, good or bad. He possesses the self-confidence to allow his actions to speak and define his worth

Many believe there are two types of men: good guys who respect women and bad boys who toy with a woman’s heart. This idea is erroneous. A true man is not one-dimensional, defined solely by how he treats a woman he sleeps with. What about how he treats his sister? His daughter? His mother? How can a man have a grandmother he never calls, or visits to see if she is ok? How can a man have a grandpa he never takes to a football game or a matinée. Yet, he’s a “good guy” because he is nice to a woman he wants to sleep with? I call b.s. I learned how to speak life into a woman, by spoiling my sisters with love first.

If a Woman has a brother, she should never feel sad & alone.

She should never feel so frustrated with life, love & the way a man treats her with lack of loyalty, because she should always have her brother to lean on. If you are not married, your sister should be the woman who is number one priority in your life. Not your self-proclaimed “side hoes”. Even if you DO have a wife, your sister is your twin.

You were put here to protect your sister. No man should ever be able to disrespect your sister, abuse her or play with her heart like it’s an Xbox controller, because you are supposed to be your sister’s strength & her protection.

Never be over protective of your sister. Yet, it is your job to show your sister how she deserves to be treated by how you spoil her & how you treat women. It’s our job as brothers to keep our sisters’ confidence higher than her heels. Did you know your sister often times feels very lonely? Did you know she locks herself in her room and cries, because she feels like she can’t trust anyone. Where the hell are you when your sister needs you?

Take your sister out on dates. A Woman should never be so bored and lonely everyday, when she has brothers who can take her places. Shower your sister with attention. Buy your sister what she needs. Spoil your sister with love, so she doesn’t go from guy to guy seeking to find the love of a man. We have to treat our sister like a princess, so she will never settle for a man treating her less than a queen.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody

IG: @Fuel4TheBODY

About Ebrahim Aseem

I am a chef, writer & motivational speaker. I've been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years & I'm currently shopping my first book, "Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women"
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7 Responses to Why Women are so ATTRACTED to BAD Boys & Friend Zone GOOD Guys

  1. Lori says:

    Thank you for the message!

  2. A great read! Thank you for sharing :).

  3. lala797 says:

    Always enjoy reading what you have to say.Thank you!

  4. bernie says:

    what a wonderful read, I actually had tears in my eyes at the end!! I wish you were my brother! That brotherly love, I sure have missed it.

  5. krezelz says:

    You always got the real talk!
    I have 3 brothers, but i think none of them treats me the way i should be treated like what you said in the article. that’s why i envy siblings who are very close to each other and can treat their sister like a princess- a part of me that is missing.

  6. Unofficial says:

    I wish I had brothers

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