I like conversing with deep thinking, classy Black men. Not all of us are ignorant. Not all of us disrespect women & live off women. There are strong, tall, well-groomed, black men who know how to think deep & be a LEADER for a Woman who can appreciate & respect his aggressive manliness. A woman who will honor him, build with him & speak to him with respect.”
“…and that ‘woman’ is anyone, except a Black woman,” a Black man interjected.
“Why do you think so many brothas leave their Black baby momma & kids, go get them a Becky & have a couple curly-haired, mixed kids with hair you can slide a comb through? It’s, because Black women don’t treat you like a man. They speak to you like a boy. Always hit you with an attitude, like they’re mad at the world. Y’all niggas better diversify your dating portfolio. Sticking with these sistas will leave you broke, frustrated, with bad credit & a bunch of nappy headed kids.”
“I gotta call bullshit on your whole stupid ass monologue bruh,” I disagreed. Me & my boys decided to step out & watch the Warriors playoff game at a sports lounge. Unbeknownst to me, the adult beverages were not the strongest spirits I would be digesting that night, rather, the spirit of self hate that inhabited the hearts of a handful of Black male friends, who were friends of friends. I cracked pistachios open as I kicked knowledge to this tall, Black man with long, neat dreads & a wedding band on his finger.
“Why, Mr. ‘Why I still date Black women’?” Neat Dreads asked me. “Oh, I read your shit. I respect what you’re tryna do, motivating women & all. But, these sistas will hold you back man, I’m telling you.”
“How can you bad mouth a Black woman when you were raised by one?” I asked him. “The reason why I refuse to stop dating Black women, like you have, is because despite all our mistakes, shortcomings, sins & flaws, Black women refuse to give up on us brothas. So, I will never give up on our sistas. I will marry a Black woman one day. Then, I will raise a Black girl into a woman, teaching her to love herself & never apologize for being made by the creator to be who she is. The color of your skin has nothing to do with how you behave in a relationship.
Women of all races are beautiful. And that includes our own bruh.”
“So, it doesn’t bother you how Black women always have to question things & interrogate your every move like her whole life is an SVU episode?”
“A woman who respectfully questions everything only irritates a man who has something to hide,” I replied. “If we are as genuine of a man as we portray ourself to her via texts, dates & social networks, our genuine intentions will hold up to strong questioning.
A woman will test you. She sits back & peeps everything. Cross references texts you send today with texts you sent 95 days ago to see if you’re a man of consistency. Don’t mistake a respectful woman’s questioning for being difficult. She can spot red flags from miles away.
Black women intrinsically posses this ability in their DNA, from thousands of years as soldiers in Amazon-esque, African-all-female armies, where she’d use intuition to spot red flags in sleeper agents & deceptive barters.
Serve her honesty consistently & she will feed you a level of affection, respect & love greater than you’ve ever had from a woman. Starve her of attention & commitment, and she’ll get up & dine at a more consistent table.”
“Man, how can these sassy mouthed Black women serve you respect, or feed you anything? Shit, they can’t even cook,” Neat Dreads snapped back.
“Black women baby you. Make excuses for your mistakes. And they ignore red flags my G. My baby mamma let me live with her for 13 months, rent free. I didn’t do chores, pay bills, buy food or babysit my sons. She did it all.
And I had to realize, a Black woman will only bring you down & hold you to the lowest of standards, as a tactic to keep a man, like a crab in a bucket. She knows if she motivates you to pursue your ambitions, you will exceed them & leave her for a White Woman, Asian woman, shit anything except a Black woman with a sista-girl attitude.”
“First of all my G,” I retorted, mocking his slang, “all women treat a man to the level of which he carries himself. If you throw tantrums like a little boy, posses the mentality of an adolescent, lack the authority, leadership &’providing abilities of a man, & sag your pants like a toddler’s saggy, do-do diaper, how the hell can you expect a woman to treat you like a man?”
“Ohhhhhh,” a couple of men reacted, instigating our debate.
“Secondly,” I continued. “Speaking with a Smart mouthed or attitude is not exclusive to Black women. Women of all races do it.
A White Woman is not your doormat. She will regally speak her mind at all times, & be submissive only to the Holy Spirit who created her for man, not man for her.
An asian woman is not your submissive servant. She will stand up for herself & remain loyal only to whoever can respect her.
An Indian woman is not your inferior. She will remain committed to her standards & honor only those who show her honor & value her integrity.
A Latin woman is not your little girl. She will hold to her values, & speak her heart, no matter what any man thinks of it. And she will affectionately adore only genuine men who can support this fully.
A Black woman is not your bitch, your property, your slave. She will ride for you when you behave, lift up her voice for truth when you need to hear it, support you like no other.
We must check ourselves, calling a woman smart mouth or difficult, when we as men speak more harsh, difficult & disrespectful to our OWN women than they do to us.
Don’t call a woman: bruh, bro, dude, or nigga. That is disrespectful, smart mouthed, difficult, & honestly, it’s suspect as hell. She’s a woman. Honor her femininity.
That woman you keep starving of loyalty, affection, attention & commitment is somebody’s wife. Honor her while you have her. Just because a woman loves you, does not mean she won’t hesitate to leave you once she realizes all you can offer her are arguments, immaturity & inconsistency.
“Somebody’s wife?” Neat Dreads mocked, “are you serious right now?
Black women are not raised to be wives. They grow up in fatherless homes, daddy cheated on momma, had a baby by every woman on the block, so all she knows how to be is a Side Chick at worst, or a Strong Single Mother at best. Trust me, I was raised by one.
A sista is who you side chick while you’re getting your money together or wanna have a baby or two. Another race is who you marry when you’re ready to build an empire & raise children.”
“Your opinions reek of self-hatred,” I responded. “If you leave the Black mother of your children to playhouse with a woman of another race & play daddy to her children, while your Black children starve of consistent meals & the love of their father, you clearly hate yourself & your Black mother.
I know a Black man who’s been married to a White woman for 11 years, they have two children & he’s a loving father to those children. But, he also is an amazing father to his Black daughter from a previous marriage. And he does not bad talk his child’s Black mother. He instils confidence in his Black daughter to love herself & I think that’s beautiful.
Love has no race. Spirits have no race. But, if you feel leaving your child’s Black mother for any other race is an upgrade, because she is Black, you bring shame to not just your Black mother. You bring shame to your non-Black wife. When you disrespect a Black woman, you disrespect EVERY woman. No genuine woman of any race finds misogyny & woman slander attractive.”
“Mis-og-any,” Neat Dreads mocked, “How is stating facts misogyny? Even my White wife told me, she had to teach all her EXs how to be catered to, because Black women tend to neglect catering to their men.
Every other race of women know how to honor their man, be submissive to their man, let their man lead. But Black women want to BE the man. She wants to lead, make all the decisions & be the head by herself. that’s why all these Black women are unmarried or in unhappy marriages. They don’t know how to let a man be a man. They can handle a boyfriend, but they don’t know what to do with a husband, like a White, Asian or Hindu woman. That’s why I’d date anyone, expect a Black woman. I ain’t falling for the okie doke.”
“Black women do not want to be the man, wear the pants, or assume the father role,” I replied, “WE are the ones who force them to take our place, leaving her to raise a child alone, after we made her a single mother. We are the ones who turn our back on our sistas, when the world ridicules their natural hair & natural ability to speak their mind, while they emulate their full lips & plump derriere.
We are the ones who will be with a Black woman for two years, while she prays for us, supports our ambitions, backs our dreams while we starve her of faithful commitment. Then, once we finally make get the position, money & prominence she helped us attain, we leave her behind & chose another to benefit off of the man she helped build up.
All these Russell Simmons, Kanye Wests & Michael Jordan dump the sistas who held them down when they had nothing & these ‘brothas’ do not even have our back when our lives our being stolen by police, like an unamred Rekia Boyd.
Black women do honor their man. Black women are soldiers for us. They are on the battle field, fighting for their lives everyday, while these punk ass bad cops try to take our lives away. Where are your Kim Ks? Some of these women can date Black men, take Black dick, but can’t take a stance against systematic oppression & police brutality against Black men.
Do you know who Marylin Mosby is? She’s the Maryland State Attorney who has put her life & career on the line to defend not just an unarmed Black man who was murdered in Freddie Gray. This young sista is making a statement as a member of the judicial system that Black life is just as valuable as all life.”
“Ain’t that the nappy-headed hoe who overcharged them cops in Baltimore?” Neat Dreads joked, “shiiiiiiiiit, I heard them talking about her on Fox News Radio. She’s just looking for attention so her hubby can run for office.”
“You ‘ole Uncle Tom ass mark,” I fired back, “don’t ever fix your lips to refer to a woman of any color as a hoe in front of me. I got sisters. You know, we call women hoes all day long, only to stick our penis in every hole all night long, but she’s a hoe. You got a half a dozen children by four different women? Who are you calling a hoe? You’re the hoe.
Then, you’re gonna call a sista you’ve obviously near seen, met, let alone heard speak, a ‘nappy-head-hoe. First off, her hair is laid. Just like you’ll be laid – out on the floor if you say another disrespectful thing about a Black woman, Marylin Mosby, or any woman in front of me again. And even if her hair was nappy, you got a problem with natural hair? Your wannabe Lenox Lewis lookin’ ass?
If you’re un-aroused by the natural wit of a woman’s speech, the natural kink of her hair, you may be uncomfortable in your own sexuality. A woman’s hair, shape or shade does not define her. Don’t decline her worth in your mind. She’s not some object to be judged by you, or appraised. She’s a virtuous woman to be praised
All virtuous women are queens. I love all women. and certainly,
I love Black women.
Queens. Virtuous; goddesses. I love sistas.
Brown skin is beautiful. Don’t believe me, know it.
Own it! Be acquiescent to a young poet.
Who’s mother is the same shade. What a gorgeous apparatus.
Work of painted, on the face, of a brown canvas.
You’re a queen, because your bills stay paid,
your hair stays laid, your outfits stay slayed.
Despite flaws projected in the reflection of your iris.
Your over critical view of your physical is blinded.
Binded with confessions of you being a perfectionist,
be receptive, your complexion is a blessing.
I know they touch all on your hair, tryna pet it like it ‘pur’
Tell them, “I’m a lion queen, but it ain’t fur.”
Naturalistas, I love you.
Shea butter on ya skin tone,
makes me want to snatch you out the friend zone.
I love Black women, let it marinate.
You we appreciate, queen of the universe,
you carry weight, of the world on your back,
because you do it all alone & it’s hard to take.
And it you ain’t black don’t hate,
just know you emulate everything we create, wait.
Don’t mistake this for shade,
whatever shade you are, you’re great; I just love sistas.
By: Ebrahim Aseem
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women”
These poetic lyrics are from Ebrahim Aseem’s newest single “Shea Butter”. Click above to hear or download FREE.
Motivational #SpeakLife vidoes: Youtube.com/RealNewsmagazine
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I prefer COURTING over "talking". I resent society deems it "soft" for a man to be caring, chivalrous & monogamous. I'm tough AND affectionate. I aspire to be a father & husband. What you brothas get from having 5-minute sex with multiple girls who lack consciousness is beyond me.😒 No shade. Do you, but I just want forever with that one 💍👰💒👪🏡✈🗼 #EbrahimAseem #SpeakLife