Beautiful Women, you just know your pretty ass is “Wife Material”, because you have a gorgeous face, curves, cakes, big breasts, long hair, stunning looks, flawless make-up, fiercely fashionable wardrobe and a nice shape to show it off; to the point you can just attract any man you want, don’t you? Well, sweetheart you are sadly mistaken. All that alone is just “Smashing Material”.
Are you ambitious? Are you in school? Do you have a job or career plan? Are you doing anything to better yourself? Can you cook? Do you have intelligence? Do you posses mental depth, patience and discernment? Do you have mental maturity? Do you think for yourself? Do you speak your mind with tact and humility? Can you offer the very things you expect from a strong man? Can you make a Man better? Help him grow? Give him words of wisdom? Can you bring him closer to his spiritual side? Can you speak life into a man? Are you that Proverbs 31 virtuous woman?
That is wife material to a mentally mature man. Any female can get chosen for sex; only Queens get chosen for marriage by a mentality mature king who compliments her worth. A woman in tune with herself as a spirit, who has intelligence, ambition and creative passions is just everything life has to offer; she is the queen every mentally mature man prays for. The fact she has only been committed to by nothing but weak males all her life and has yet to meet that real man, just proves her great worth. She is worth so much, it has taken her dream man all this time just to improve and grow to be good enough for her.
By: Ebrahim Aseem
“I’m more than just a fit-thick girl with a nice ass,” a curly-haired Creole woman complained, during a public speak I did for twenty dozen college women. “I’m so tired of being labeled because of my looks. I’m in medical school;pursuing a career in pediatrics, I have a cooperate job with great benefits, I pay my own bills and I’m a God-fearing woman, but; I still can’t seem to find a man worth my time. It’s discouraging, because while I keep hearing my girls tell me, ‘women with ass are wife material, that’s why skinny girls are single, girl you have just what it takes to attract any man you want’; I feel that’s only half-true. The guys who want to take me out for a date I’m not attracted to, while the men I really want lack ambition and are no where on my level. Ebrahim, what am I doing wrong?”
“What you’re doing wrong is listening to your ignorant girls,” I answered.
“Some females think they’re so much of “a catch” or so deserving of being faithfully committed to, solely because they’re so breathtakingly gorgeous with amazing bodies. Yet, if you have no substance behind your beauty, if you have nothing to offer other than your body; how are you wife material? How are you a catch? You’re not a catch; you’re a throw back in the ocean. You’re boring; you’re witless; you’re just a mannequin.
If you have nothing to say; no mental depth; scared to tell a man when he’s wrong; afraid to speak your mind; it is imperative you continue to you work on yourself first, before seeking commitment, let alone marriage. Some mentally immature females wonder, where are all the good men? Hiding from your boring ass, that’s where. He’s a mentally mature man and your ignorance annoys him. Your lack of substance makes him see right through your amazing body and breathtaking beauty. Your mental immaturity turns him the hell off; your lack of intelligence makes him not take you seriously.
If a man doesn’t take you seriously, he will never faithfully commit himself to you. He’s barely physically attracted to you; your physical appearance attracts him so much and he wants you so bad physically, yet your lack of substance makes him disgusted by the sight of your tangible appearance. You may be very pretty and have an amazing body, but you must understand; there is a HUGE difference between a woman being “pretty” and “attractive”.
Food can look amazingly pretty, yet if it lacks flavor & substance, it is unappealing and unattractive. A female can look amazingly pretty, but if she lacks flavor and substance, she’s unappealing and unattractive. As a chef, one of my biggest pet peeves is tasting fried chicken in a restaurant that is so delicious looking and well seasoned on the outside skin, yet it tastes bland and flavorless; lacking substance on the inside to attract me to eat it.
As a mentally mature man, one of my biggest pet peeves, before I decided to faithfully commit to my queen, was seeing a beautiful woman who was so attractive looking and gorgeous on the outside skin, yet once I approached her pretty ass, her mind was so bland and flavorless; lacking substance on the inside to attract me to commit to her.
If that metaphor went over your head; you may not be attractive to a mentally mature man, as he is aroused by mental stimulation. Mentally mature men are attracted to a woman of substance, with wisdom and wit, not just ass and tits. Mentally mature men are attracted to women with old souls, not young minds.
Attraction has less to do with your tangible appearance and more to do with your ora, spirit and mental depth. A woman who can think for herself; catch on quick; read people like a book; look through someone and tell if they’re lying to her and full of B.S.; pick up on subtle humor; notice everything, even little things most don’t; have quick wit; posses a strong mind, what some may refer to as a ‘smart mouth’; always take a conversation deeper than just “so, what’s your favor color”; can arouse a man’s intellect, that woman is attractive and will undeniably be committed to by a man of her mental caliber.
A woman’s body can only stimulate a man’s sense of sight; a woman’s MIND can stimulate & activate a man’s chakras and pineal gland. If you don’t know what your chakras and pineal gland are; you may not be attractive to a mentally mature man. Give a mentally mature man more than just something he can FEEL.
There are reasons you see the most handsome men, married to women you may consider ugly or unattractive. When you see them walking together cuddled up, you may say,
“Eww what is that GOD of a man, doing with that wildebeest of a woman?!” Or you may think,
“How does that Precious looking heifer have a fine man like him, while I’m still single and lonely?”
It may be because she has more to offer him than looks; it may be every single man breathing is not the vain dog you assumed we all are. It may be she stimulates his mind so well, respects him as a man so much; he genuinely fell in love with her beautiful spirit, despite her less than perfect physical appearance.
A true marriage is not between two attractive humans; a true marriage is between one’s spirit and the Holy Spirit who created that spirit. Once a person meets that one who is just as married to the Holy Spirit as they are, the fact they are equally yoked to the Holy Spirit is what makes their marriage genuine and validates their union.
You will, however, see promiscuous females married to immature, weak-minded males, who posses the handsomeness, muscles and physical physique your eyes are attracted to. Those two people may deserve each other more than you deserve him, considering they’re both unequally yoked. Why is it your concern who an immature, weak-minded male marries anyway?
That second you spent holding a thought of why an immature male you don’t want, is married to a weak female you don’t want to be like; that second could have been spent holding a thought of how to edifying yourself and be even more of what you want to attract in a someone else. QUEENS get blessed with and sent a KING by the Holy Spirit to find her, once she is completely emotionally available and spiritually ready to realize she is a good thing. Her readiness will be proven by her ability to attract that man she wants; her inability to attract a king will be proof to her she is not yet ready to be found by a king, as she still has more mental maturing to undergo.
Sweetheart, your looks are a blessing; your curves are a weapon. Your butt is legit; your body is theshit; but if you’re not much deeper than what my eyes can see, you’re most definitely not the woman for me.
I’m the mentality mature man I am, only because I have so many amazing Black men as role models in my life. My brother who is an amazing writer, my cousins who are fathers; my West African Hebrew brothers, who are husbands and business men who go into the poorest neighborhoods and mentor young Black and Latino boys, speaking life into them; my uncles, my mentors and my friends of all cultural backgrounds, who are leaders for their families.
So, when I constantly see a few females men bashing; it disappoints me. A few females think, how MALES treat them is how every MAN is, which is untrue. There is a distinct difference between a MALE and a MAN.
A MALE thinks with his penis head.
A MAN thinks with the head connected to his brain.
A MALE is only attracted to a physically appealing female, with the body parts and skin color he likes, who can stimulate his penis head.
A MAN only wants a strong minded woman, with the substance and wisdom he likes, who can stimulate his mind, so he can go deep inside her mind with mental penetration and stimulate her intellect with spiritual conversation.
A MALE will only do to you what he thinks he can get away with. He treats you how he feels you allow him to treat you. Yet, how a MALE treats a woman is NOT a reflection of her worth; it is a projection of his own worth. Virtuous women deserve to be respected at all times, if she gives respect & carries herself with respect.
I dedicate my life to teaching young kings to respect & understand a WOMAN of integrity. Conversely, a woman and a female are not the same.
A FEMALE is lead and fueled by her emotion.
A WOMAN is lead and fueled by her intuition.
A FEMALE will say she’s never known love, yet she’s raising a child who loves her more than life.
A WOMAN has so much love in her heart to give, she can treat her nieces, her bestfriend’s baby girl, the plants and flowers in her garden, or even her pet dog like they are her daughter; because she knows, how a person treats an innocent child, flower or animal is a reflection of their kindness, compassion and love for self.
Trust me when I tell you a MALE will play the role of a good man when he first meets you young queens, and you can tell because he will say over and over, “I’m different” and “why can’t you trust me and let me in?” Yet, once his acting skills fade, his lies and untrustworthy behavior will shatter your trust and make you regret ever opening up yourself to new love yet again. But a MAN will never allow himself to be disloyal to you, because he knows as a MAN, his word is everything.
A MAN, not a MALE, but a man will show you his flaws from the beginning and never hide any of his short comings, because as a MAN he is so confident in himself and his ability to self edify and grow; he knows the consistency and loyalty he has to offer you as a woman not only overshadows any of his flaws; he knows his wisdom and ability to listen to you without interruption and understand you, instead of judging you, is what will bring out your inner queen.
So many of my cousins are married to their children’s mother and they are loyal; Intelligent, Handsome, Strong; Providers. But, here’s the thing; these strong-minded men are ONLY attracted to deep thinking spiritual women, who value their worth as a man. Referring to every man on earth as a “dog”, because the 3 EXs you allowed to commit to you dogged you, will never attract you a mentally mature man. Conversely, your flaws and smart mouth will never deny you a mentally mature man, because he is willing to accept you for who you are, flaws and all.
I’m confident you queens will be blessed with the mentality mature man you deserve, despite being subjected to a lifetime of weak males. I live my life as proof mentality mature men exist, and I have several dozen young, handsome, intelligent men I am currently mentoring and grooming who think just like me. This is my purpose in life. When these men ask me how to attract a queen, I tell them, ‘In order to attract a queen, you must stop repelling them with some of your behavior.
The only thing a Woman hates more than being ignored by the man she really likes, and having her texts ignored while she sees us liking pictures of multiple women on Instagram, is when we as men make promises to her and don’t come through. What makes us a MAN and not just a MALE is our word.
Don’t just promise a virtuous woman anything, because it sounds good at the time young kings. Actually make your word your bond, then go out of your way to come through for her. A woman will plan her whole week around a promise we made to spend time with her. Never make a woman with trust issues regret and question why she ever trusted your ass in the first place. Young king, you DESERVE the woman of your dreams, who will always respect you; but to attract that, it takes being trustworthy.’
Now as a queen you must know everything you expect from a man, you must also be willing to mirror and reciprocate back to him. When women like yourself ask me how to attract a king, I tell them, ‘In order to attract a king, you must stop repelling them with some of your behavior.
The only thing a Mentally Mature Man hates more than being compared to all your immature MALE EX boyfriends who broke your trust, is when a woman doesn’t support his ambition.
What makes you a WOMAN and not just a FEMALE is your compassion. Never hesitate to tell a Man of Faith when he’s wrong AND ALSO never hesitate to show your support of him when he’s right, when his actions are amazing; when you’re proud of him. Don’t doubt his dreams; support his ambition. Don’t just want a man once he’s MADE IT; support him on his journey before he HAS IT.
Speak life into your king. Never make a man who’s never been loved & appreciated by a woman for anything other than his bomb sex & money question your motives, like all my ex-girlfriends did me. Queen, you DESERVE the king of your dreams, who’ll always respect you; but to attract him, it takes SUPPORT & HUMILITY.”
Young kings, please don’t be discouraged by the few immature females in the world, who constantly degrade us MEN by projecting the behavior of weak-minded MALES onto us. They mean no harm, it’s just so hard for a woman who has only known pain all her life to be optimistic that a real man exists.
Her life is like a living hell, and every day she wakes up to a life where no one listens to her or understands her, and everyone sees her for her outter appearance, blind to her intellegence and mental depth. Her life experiences make her doubt there is anyone of the male species who can understand her, because no male ever has, not even the males in her own family.
She may think you’re just a MALE from the moment you approach her, but I promise you, if you show a woman; not a female, but a mentality mature woman you are different, not with your words, but with your actions; she will show you a level of love you never thought imaginable; that first Corinthians 13 type love. It will at that point be up to you to either give her the faithful commitment she deserves, or to let her go, so a man willing to commit to her can.
If you meet a loyal woman who is wife material, make her a wife before you make her a mother. Don’t wait years to commit to her, because she knows her worth and she will leave you once she sees you have no intentions to commit to her with marriage. Wives are born. Strong Women birth and raise wives. A woman knows she is wife material and worthy of commitment. You think a weak minded girl is “loyal”, because she stays with you without a title or commitment? No; that’s not loyalty.
When a woman really loves you, she is loyal to your level of commitment, not your ego. She will not allow you to slight her, use her, waste her time or be with her without commitment, because she knows as a king, you deserve a WIFE; not a “main”.
A MAN can know a woman for less than six months, and already know he will make her his wife. I know this, because that is how I feel about my queen. I meet her within the last six months, and I didn’t hesitate to faithfully commit myself to her, because I have no intentions of having her question, “what are we?” like males do.
A MALE will be with a loyal woman for seven years, have four children by her, talking about, “we aren’t married yet, because I’m still getting to know her”. What the hell are you still getting to know about her? You wouldn’t want your daughter done like that by a man giving her four children and zero commitment: just commit to her. If you shower a woman with commitment, she will spoil you with love and loyalty.
Of all the amazing advice my father gave me; he told me his biggest regret was failing to give the one queen he met, my mother, the level of commitment and leadership she deserved from him as a man. While seeing me off at my senior prom, he made me promise I would never make the same mistake of choosing to chase multiple women over faithfully committing myself to a queen, once I finally met her. I refuse to be like my father and let a woman who is WIFE material walk out my life. My mother raised a future husband; not a future baby daddy.
By: Ebrahim Aseem
I am an author, and I do Public Speaking events in the San Francisco Bay Area.
For Public Speaking inquiries & booking, contact me AEAseem@gmail.com
I post TWO new articles every Thursday, here is my podcast:
Click on they PLAY button to hear now! ==>
To download to your phone: click on download bottom ARROW in top right hand corner of the podcast bellow
Click on my picture of me and the woman who raised me, my moms bellow for more!
thought provoking articles like this,
Or to read a preview of my book, which should be available April 14, 2014 on Amazon.com
Follow/add me on Facebook and request your free copy ASAP