You DEFEAT yourSELF by Over THINKING & being too CRITICAL of yourSELF


Never make excuses for why someone is not showing you love, attention, LOYALTY, respect and acknowledging all you do for them.

If they really cared like they SAY they do, they’d SHOW it. Don’t allow someone to be in your life if they’re not IMPROVING your life. Your kindness, niceness and loyalty is way TOO VALUABLE for you to keep just giving it away to people. Make them EARN it by first proving to you they DESERVE it with their reciprocal actions.

The same level of attention, time, faithfulness, love, loyalty and energy you give to someone else, you deserve reciprocated back to you. Please do NOT cheat yourSELF of that. The thought of them should give you chills & smiles, not stress and frustration. Rather family, friends or lover; if every time they hit you up, they’re asking you for something: advice, money, a babysitter, their hair done, time, for a ride, a recommendation, a hook up, more money! yet they aren’t freely giving any of that to YOU, cut those leeches off ✂✂ The exact same level of love you show others, you deserve that shown to you. Now listen,

I know you’ve been waiting for this kind of love, over thinking about why this love seems to forever elude you, but don’t wait for that love. Have that love for self. Shower yourself with that love. Drown yourself in that love, to the point your lungs, heart and every intrinsic inch of your existence has that love in you so DEEP, it will ATTRACT someone who has the same love. That person will not only reciprocate that love to you, they will resuscitate that love to you like your love is each other’s oxygen. Stop fearing you will never find all that you have to give in another person.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody

IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
Twitter: @EbrahimAseem

There is no such thing as FEAR or a shy person. Fear is an illusion, used to control us. Babies are NOT born shy. You were not shy as a toddler. You were fearless, until you were miseducated and taught fear; to be afraid of strangers; to not be so hyper; to care what people think of you; to think before you speak. Insecurities are implanted into us like weeds. We must unlearn the seeds of fear, blossom confidence and live free.

Be like a child, free of fear. Matthew 18:3 says, “Unless you change your ways and become as little children, you will never enter into the kingdom of heaven.” Many preachers hold back reading that scripture and the scripture warning us that the Anti-Christ will come through the church, because they some of them try to hide that revelation that Jesus told to the disciples about how unless we be free of fear like a child, we can never enter into heaven. We have to wake up to the realization that we are more spiritual, more caring and have more wisdom than even the ones who have taught us.

The reason you stress so much throughout your day, toss and turn, and can’t sleep nights is, because you’re the most genuine one in your family, the most loyal one in your circle and more caring, and faithful than all of your EXs combined, and it’s hard carrying the weight, stress & selfishness of everyone in your life on your shoulders.

Regardless, do me a huge favor and start cutting off all those who do not do for you all that you do for them, and I promise; you will be able to receive mental rest.

“How do you let go of self doubt and insecurity, when you’re plagued by the memories of all the pain you’ve been through in your past if thats all you’ve ever known?” a British App developer asked me during a motivational speak I did for a group of 120 foreign-born App & Java developers, new to Silicon Valley. He looked like Ryan Gosling, yet sounded like Idris Elba, with the same thick British accent. I called him up to stand next to me, so I could clearly make out what he was saying.

“I was born in Spain, but I grew up in London. My mother abandoned me in Spain when I was six years old, after she told me she didn’t want to be bothered with having to take care of me anymore, so I basically had to raise myself. I know being abandoned as a child has resulted in me being very hesitant as an adult. I often procrastinate, doubting myself and my abilities, even though I have no reason to do so. It affects me not only in my career, but in pursuing women. This is the reason I’ve never had a girlfriend.”

When he confessed he’d never had a girlfriend, all of the women in the audience gasped in shock, unable to hide their obvious attraction to him.

“It’s not that I don’t meet beautiful women,” he continued, “it’s just hard for me to let them in and force myself to open up to trust them, because I have this burning anxiety in my mind, telling me whoever I let in too close will disappoint me just like my mother did when I was a little boy. How does one let go of self doubt and insecurity, and the fear that once you open up to trust someone and let them in, they will hurt and disappoint you like everyone else has done? When everyone you let in your life destroys your trust, it makes you feel like you’re the problem. Like there’s something wrong with you.”

“It was never you;” I assured him. “The reason why people have put you through so much hate and turmoil, is because they have so much hate and turmoil for themselves. How toxic a person treats you is a physical manifestation of how they think of themselves.

If a form of matter is TOXIC, it’s toxicity is not a reflection of the substance it combines and combusts with. Therefore, how people, forms of matter, treat you, is not a reflection of you or your worth. It’s all about CHEMISTRY. It is extremely justifiable for you to be hesitant to open up and trust people, but the key is not to lock out every one from entering into your life. The key is to only combine with LIKE FORMS OF MATTER. That combination will have a chemical reaction, mirroring the perfect marriage of hydrogen and Oxygen, which possesses a union that is validated by the fruition it produces, H2O; WATER.

The manifestation of your relationship with someone will prove to you rather or not they deserve to be in your life and be allowed an opportunity to earn your trust. The key word is ‘earn’ your trust.

Your mother used her maternal relationship with you to destroy the trust you gave her from the moment you first laid eyes on her out of her womb. This, however wasn’t your fault. Your mother did not abandon you, because of you; she wasn’t tired of being your mother, she never was your mother. Having a child does not make one a mother, displaying selfless, nurturing actions and consistently putting your child’s life before your own is what makes you a mother; she was just a selfish female with a baby.

Don’t allow how a person treats you to dictate how you feel about yourself. How a person treats you has no relation to your worth. We subconsciously assume if someone treats us good, we are good in their eyes or if someone treats us bad, we are bad in their eyes, but allow me to take you deep inside the depths of the excellency of knowledge, regarding this flawed theory of good and bad.

Good or bad do not exist in the universe. Those are human ways of subjectively weighing the value of intangible matter. We weigh things as good or bad to justify why we continue to fail at something, or why the very things we KNOW we deserve elude us. However, there is no good or bad, only perception.

I don’t like how many of you mentally beat yourself up late at night, staying up judging your decisions as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, doubting yourself, your ability and rather or not you can really achieve your dreams, or if you’re just fooling yourself into ever thinking you can. Stop that; don’t let disappointments of life make you feel down or lose confidence in yourself.

You defeat yourself with your OWN over thinking & being too critical of yourself. Do not let disappointments of life make you feel down or lose confidence. Do not allow other’s opinions of you or comparisons of you to cause you to doubt yourself. Don’t allow how unpleasantly people treat you to determine your level of happiness. Please don’t mentally beat yourself up for decisions you make or have made in your past. You are NOT your past. Stop blaming yourself for what you did so long ago. That’s NOT you. This is you NOW.

Please don’t doubt yourself, because you don’t have all you want in your life right now or have yet to achieve the level of success you feel you already should have at this age. Don’t do your opposition’s job. Your opposition’s job is to be hard on you and make you doubt your SELF. Your job is to encourage your SELF, not constantly tell yourself your shortcomings everyday with your thoughts like you do. That’s insane. Cut that out.

Only hold thoughts of what you want. Don’t allow the weeds of doubt to be incepted into the garden that is your mind. It’s so amazing how much stronger we are than we realize, until will kill doubt, throw it in a ditch, and bury it with our self confidence, so it never resurfaces. You’re amazing! never forget that.

I want you to know you WILL accomplish your dreams. You’re amazing, nothing can stop you. Yet, what is holding you back is self doubt. This false thought of judging all you do on a scale of ‘good’ or ‘bad”‘. ‘Fight’ is a verb you may consider bad, yet consider this: ‘fighting’ a cold or ‘fighting’ procrastination are things you consider good, thus showing the polarization of the definition of ‘good’ and ‘bad’. Your perception of the subject “procrastination” causes the value of the predicate “fight” to change from bad to good, thus proving neither bad nor good exists in the universe absolute. Good and bad are a stick you use to mentally beat yourself up. A stick you use to measure your decisions based off their outcome. Take the stick of Good and Bad, hold it with both hands and break that stick in two.

Rather something is good or bad doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because Good or Bad are not matter. Conversely, your thoughts are things. How you think about yourself and your thoughts on your self & self worth; those thoughts matter, because thoughts ARE matter.

Not every form of matter interacts with light. Thus, not every form of matter is visible. Yet, we know many things exist and contain matter, because they interact with other fields of energy. For instance, there are particles called neutrinos which are not visible, because they do not interact with light. Yet, they do interact with both gravity and with the “weak force”. Hence, we can detect them through the weak force, proving their existence.

Neutrinos are neutral, unable to be electrically charged, meaning they are not affected by the electromagnetic forces that attract charged forms of matter such as electrons and protons.

Neutrinos are like you will be, once you kill self doubt, unable to be affected by the forces of darkness that attract forms of matter like yourself. You must have a neutral mind, no matter what anyone says about you, thinks about you and no matter what past pain you’ve been through, do not allow the forces of darkness to dim your shine.

Dark matter is called dark matter, because it does not interact with light. Yet, there is so much of it that it clearly interacts with the gravitational force and causes large discrepancies in the motion of galaxies. Hence, we detect it through the gravitational force; that is, we detect the relationship it has with other forms of matter.

In this regard, your thoughts are INDEED things. Your thoughts are forms of matter. When you think of something and moments later it happened; this wasn’t a coincidence. You manifested this happening mentally. The reason you continue to fail at accomplishing in receiving what you really want, is not because you don’t deserve it. no; it is, because you subconsciously doubt you will get it.

When you think, ‘I really want this thing’ IT draws closer to you, like a tide drawing close to shore.
When you then think, ‘but I’ve never had this thing, so I might not get it’ IT draws away from you, obeying your thought of repelling it.

See, your doubt thoughts are just as strong and obedient as your trust thoughts. The successful state of happiness is the point where our trust in our ability becomes stronger than our doubt in our ability. Stop doubting that what you want will ever come to you, only then will it come to you. This is the law of attraction. Remember, you do not exist IN the universe. You ARE a universe. You manifest success. Stop forgetting that. Remember; awaken hypothalamus gland. Connect frontal cortex; awaken pineal gland. Ascend.

“If a woman can recognize a weak-minded male who is playing games, so she decides to hold firm and wait for her king, assuming that she has determined her worth. What then is still attracting these same males?” a Tall Sudanese woman asked me.

“What is still attracting these same men is the very presence of the mental recognition of THESE SAME MEN.” I answered.

“See, the law of attraction does not mean, ‘”a woman who doesn’t know her worth attracts weak-minded males. and a woman who does know her worth attracts a king.’

No, those are your thoughts. The law of attraction that exists in the universe means a thought attracts the subject of that thought, rather good or bad.

If a woman who doesn’t know her worth thinks, ‘hmmm let me entertain these weak-minded males who play games with a loyal woman’s heart” she will attract THESE SAME MALES to her.

Likewise, even though a woman may know her worth, and she thinks, “I recognize these weak-minded males who play games with a loyal woman’s heart and I DO NOT want one, I’m waiting for my king” this woman will attract THESE SAME MALES as the woman who doesn’t know her worth.

Why? Because the law of attraction does not take in account what we ‘don’t want’ rather, it attracts the EXACT SUBJECT we think of, rather we want it or do not want it.

If I say to you, ‘don’t think about oranges’ what are you going to think about?……yep, oranges. It doesn’t matter, keyword matter, that I said “don’t” in front of the subject, the thought attracts the subject, rather you want that subject or not.

A woman waiting for a king must STOP SAYING THINKING OR EVEN MENTALLY ACKNOWLEDGING THE EXISTENCE OF WEAK-MINDED MALES WHO ARE DOGS OR PLAY GAMES WITH A WOMAN’S HEART. Else she will forever attract these males, simply by holding the thought of there existence in her mind. Only think of your king young queen, he’s waiting for you.

Brain cells possess the cellular ability to attract like matter. The dream mate you want, the career you want, the peace of mind you want and the life you want are all forms of matter you can ATTRACT to you, simply by acting as if you already have them by holding the thought of them in your mind. Equally yoked unions with reciprocal mental accession and intellectual conception ensure love will come to fruition. Now you’re over thinking about the last sentence I just said, but I said it in that very way to prove to you how much you over think. See,

You over think. Way too much and it’s starting to affect your emotions, to the point you’re not happy with your life right now. You question all your actions. Playing that “what if” game you always play, especially late at night, as you lay in bed. THAT is why your sleep schedule is messed up. You make yourself stressed. Sick. Cry. Angry. Depressed. You stay up late, can’t sleep, because you’re replaying thousands of scenarios in your mind. Worrying what future outcomes will be. Why you can’t trust people? When will you get out of your current living situation? Why everyone in your family STILL treats you like a little girl and boy, even though you’re a GROWN ASS WOMAN AND MAN.

I know you sit and wonder if you will ever get all the things you want in life. Questioning yourself. Wondering why you can’t ever seem to find love? Wondering what’s the purpose of your life and if its worth fighting for? Well it is. Stop mentally beating yourself up just because you’re not where you want to be in your life right now. Your problems always seems so damn unsolvable when you’re thinking about it in the middle of the night, but a good nights rest on a clear conscious is the best remedy So, do me a huge favor, tonight when you lay your head down on your pillow to sleep, stop over thinking and put your mind on silent, so you can get some rest tonight when you lay your head against your pillow to sleep.

You are so much DEEPER than everyone can see. When they judge you by your appearance, or keep bringing ONE mistake you made in your past to hold against you; they fail to see your depth & how amazingly beautiful you are inside.

This is like ONLY reading a title and assuming the quote is a statement or gist of the whole writing. This is why I don’t come up with “titles” for my writing. I use a quote SOMEONE ELSE ASKED ME, to show: when we prejudge a form of matter BEFORE seeing the matter in its whole & totality; we miss the beauty inside it.

I NEVER agree with people who ask me, ‘why all men cheat?’ Or when they ask me ‘why are you still dating black women?’ but I’m fluent in sarcasm enough to mock that offensive quote, hold it up to the world to show how insane it sounds to loyal MEN, not a male, but a MAN. Kings & queens; hold your head up high to the world and show your doubters how wrong they were to ever doubt your SHINE.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody

IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
Twitter: @EbrahimAseem

I am an author, and I do Public Speaking events in the San Francisco Bay Area.

For Public Speaking inquiries & booking, contact me

I post new articles every Thursday, here is my DEEP baritone voice Speak Life, public speak:

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About Ebrahim Aseem

I am a chef, writer & motivational speaker. I've been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years & I'm currently shopping my first book, "Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women"
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1 Response to You DEFEAT yourSELF by Over THINKING & being too CRITICAL of yourSELF

  1. T.A.P. says:

    I thank God for you and your queen. Continue to let God use you to speak Life/wisdom/truth to this generation! Im empowered when I read your articles!

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