How to tell if your man is on the DOWN LOW


Why your PornHub addicted man may be on the Down Low:

1. Overly macho, too concerned with impressing males.
2. Insecure or insecurely uses social networks to jealously keep tabs on his woman.
3. Has only one TYPE of woman he’s attracted to
4. Would rather watch porn than make love to a woman.
5. Obsessed with twerking, big butts and butt play.
6. Uninterested in foreplay or romance & only wants to “get his”
7. Spends more time at the gym with the guys than romancing his woman.
8. Always hides his phone like it’s G14 Classified.
9. Speaks to his woman like she is one of his homies.
10. Flashes of abuse and passive aggression

Guys will mess up and have a loyal woman thinking something is wrong with her and a beautiful woman thinking she’s unattractive & less of a woman, simply by how inconsistent he treats her. How a male treats a woman is never a reflection of her worth, it is a projection of his.

“I feel like I’m losing my mind. My abusive boyfriend works w/ my gay friend who told me my man always flirts w/ him at work,” a curvy, breathtakingly beautiful Caucasian woman complained. “My bf is denying it of course, but this would be the second long-term boyfriend who turned out to be gay/bisexual.

I don’t get it. I am a beautiful woman inside & out. Why does this keep happening to me? I never expected to hear that, but it makes sense from his abusive tendencies & cheating ways. A part of me doesn’t want to believe it for my own sanity & possibility to ever trust a man.

He was my best friend for years before we dated. I feel so deceived and can’t help but feel like less of a woman. I gave up so much to be with this man and his sexuality is up in the air. I feel like the devil has consumed my life.”

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
Twitter: @EbrahimAseem

Some of the most macho, manly, tall, buff, physically fit, handsome males live double lives of conflict and have not come to terms with their sexuality. This is NOT a woman’s fault, nor is it a result of her not being pretty or attractive enough. Some males are simply unaroused by a female, because he is attracted to other males.

Here are a few key ways to tell if your boyfriend or husband is on the Down Low.

1. Overly macho, too concerned with impressing males.

Some males act like they’re always so annoyed & bored with their woman, always mugging her and telling her to shut up, choosing playing video games and spending time with his homies over being romantic his woman. Yet, when he’s around his male friends, he’s laughing, smiling, joking and giggling. Why would a male be more flirtatious with his homies than he is with his woman, unless, he is on the Down Low.

Males who think being romantic with a woman is “corny” or “soft” “unmanly” or “simp behavior” are simply insecure in their manhood and their sexuality.

When a male is more concerned with proving his manhood to other males and cares more about impressing other males than he cares about being romantically chivalrous with a woman. This is suspect.

2. Insecure or insecurely uses social networks to jealously keep tabs on his woman.

Insecurity in ANY male is a major must avoid at all cost. This type of male will either abuse drugs, abuse alcohol, abuse his woman, or abuse his sexuality.

Not only is it a major turn-off to a woman for a man stalk her social networks, then blow up her phone, complaining about her behavior online, it is also suspect. Being clingy is a red flag, not because it hints at jealousy. A little jealousy let’s a woman know you value her.

However, when a male turns into a CSI investigator, stalks a woman’s Instagram activity, keeps track of when she last used Facebook messenger to see how long she was online, blows up her phone in the middle of the night to keep tabs on her, goes through her tweets, sending her screen shots of her online conversations, it has gone beyond “cute jealousy” into “suspect behavior”.

When a male stalks your social networks, he’s not trying to keep you from cheating nor is he simply being insecure. Two things are taking place here.

(A) He’s using what he feels is ‘stereotypical jealous behavior’ to cause dissension, so you will be hesitant to question his sexuality. This is very slick and cunning. He wants you to think he’s so concerned with you communicating with other men, like he’s so jealous of your attractiveness and sexuality, so you will never question HIS sexuality.

(B) He has a guilty conscience and is stalking your social networks to see if any of his gay lovers and past girlfriends who’ve previously found out about his sexuality are contacting you.

3. Has only one TYPE of woman he’s attracted to

Heterosexual men do not have a “type” of woman who “only her specific body type” makes him aroused. Let’s be honest; a guy will sleep with a kangaroo looking female if she has a working vagina.

The truth is many of us barely know what we like. Many of us like whoever likes us and lack the ability to turn down a woman of any body type who is pretty and giving us attention. The reason some males need a woman with a “specific body type” in order for him to be aroused, is because he’s simply not naturally aroused by a woman’s femininity.

Heterosexual men are extremely attracted to women with curves and a nice shaped butt; however they’re also extremely attracted to women with slim, petite model frames, with a defined collar bone and a humble shaped butt; because quite frankly, women of all body types are beautiful, as they posses what all heterosexual men are really attracted to; vagina. That attraction exists to ensure the continuation of the human race.

This is why some males ONLY are attracted to curvy women with a fat round butt, or are ONLY attracted to a skinny woman with absolutely no curves whatsoever, or only attracted to Asian women, or only attracted to short women, that is the ONLY “type” of woman that can arouse him.

If a male regularly gets erectile dysfunction when his woman is wearing the most reveling lingerie, and the only thing that can make him UP for love-making is to watch a very specific type of porn, he may be on the down low.

4. Would rather watch porn than make love to a woman.

Porn addiction can be an indication a male is on the Down Low.
A woman can tell if her boyfriend is secretly on the Down Low by his inability to be aroused by the natural female body. If a woman walks her boyfriend into the bedroom, gently massages his body, kisses his neck, and yet him and his right hand would much rather go in the bathroom together and watch PornHub on his phone than make love to his woman; this could be an indication he’s on the Down Low.

No heterosexual man would choose to have a virtual threesome with his right hand and his PornHub app over making love to his beautiful woman. That’s not “what guys do” it’s not “a guy thing” it’s not “a guy being a guy”, it’s as suspect as it sounds.

No heterosexual male would turn down vagina in favor of pornography. You may be thinking, “Oh, but he’s just not attracted to HIS woman’s body type. He only likes the type with big breast or the type with big butts like in those porn vids.” How do you even know he’s looking at the woman’s body when he watches porn? Yep. Exactly.

A male who has a beautiful woman, flawless looks, flat stomach, curvy figure, nice round butt, who will do whatever he wants in bed and STILL cheats on her is living proof nothing can stop a man from cheating who is simply uncomfortable with his sexuality and is too much of a coward to admit his attraction to women may be in question.

5. Obsessed with twerking, big butts and butt play.

I know what you’re thinking, “I thought all men are obsessed with a Woman who can twerk? Think again. There is only ONE sexual organ on the female body, her vagina. A woman’s breasts and butt are NOT sexual organs. Her breasts sole purpose is to feed a baby, that’s why milk comes out. A woman’s butt has the sole purpose of ejecting waste from her body.

Males who are obsessed with watching twerking videos, Big Booty porn, World Star Hip Hop Honey videos and are only aroused by a woman’s rear end and prefer this over having vaginal sex with a woman; do so, because it reminds him of the type of intercourse he enjoys with his Down Low lover.

This is why males on the Down Low have gay sex with their woman. That is; while he’s having sex with a woman, he is using ONLY positions he uses with his boyfriend, while fantisizing he is having non-vaginal intercourse with someone of the same-sex.

If a male likes his OWN butt played with, that is a huge sign he may be on the Down Low. A heterosexual male would never allow a woman to stick her finger or tongue anywhere near his backside. That’s down low behavior.

6. Uninterested in foreplay or romance & only wants to “get his”

If a male doesn’t have a romantic side with you as his woman: beware; that’s suspect. Heterosexual men love to cuddle and massage their woman’s body, trEATing her body like a fat kid treats a bowl of candy.

Nothing arouses a heterosexual man more than watching, seeing and making a woman climax. It makes his toes curl, it actually makes him erect to witness it. If a male only wants to get his climax and does not care or put forth effort to ensure his woman gets hers, that is suspect.

“I don’t eat pearl cuisine”
“Vaginas are nasty and ugly’.
That is Down Low vernacular. When a male tells a woman he prefers to receive oral sex from a woman over vaginal sex; he’s subconsciously trying to tell you he’s not aroused by the female sex organ.

If a male cannot be aroused by the natural femininity of a woman and her holy grail, without her behaving extremely lustful like a pornstar; that male is either on the down low and hiding it from you or on the Down Low unbeknownst to himself.

7. Spends more time at the gym with the guys than romancing his woman.

Many males who live in the gym admirably dedicating much time to perfecting their physical physique, love the gym so much and yet. Somehow, they do not have the time to take a woman out on a date, show up to a family function or wedding with her as his date, or even text back or call back his woman within a reasonable amount of time, because he’s “so busy putting in work lifting weights at the gym”. B.S.

Many males spend so much time at the gym, because that’s the only place him and his Down Low lover can meet up and “spend time”. Why would a male spend 45 minutes lifting weights and an hour and 15 minutes in the showers or in the gym locker room? It’s because he’s intentionally dropping the soap bar.

You may be thinking, “but can a tall, handsome man who gets the attention of so many women be on the Down Low? When I asked him if he’s in a relationship already, he said no.’ Understand how slick a lying male is. You asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said, “no.” Yet in his mind, he’s thinking, ‘well she didn’t ask me if I had a boyfriend, so technically I answered honestly.’

8. Always hides his phone like it’s G14 Classified.

A huge warning sign is a male who brings his phone everywhere he goes, including the shower and the restroom at a restaurant. Even when he’s asleep; you can’t find his phone and you’re like, “wait did this guy stuff his iPhone in his boxers?” Yes!

The reason he’s hiding his phone is not simply, because he doesn’t want you seeing texts from other women. He doesn’t want you seeing texts from other men and screen shots of male’s body parts in his camera roll.

An un-loyal male with something to hide gets annoyed by a woman searching his phone.

When I am in a relationship, I change my passwords to my woman’s name or nickname, then give her all my passwords, so she feels secure, reassured & never has to wonder.

If a man goes extended periods of time without contacting the woman he is in a relationship with, that is suspect as well. If it has been days, and you have yet to hear from your man who is “away on business” look into the type of “business” he is away on.

Work is never an excuse as to why a man cannot text back, call back or contact his woman. There is wifi everywhere. There are Starbucks and McDonald’s in third world countries. Skype is free. Email is only a wifi signal away. If a male is not contacting a woman, it is because he simply does not want to. No excuses. Either take the hint or investigate. – Ebrahim Aseem

9. Speaks to his woman like she is one of his homies.

This idea in our generation of treating a woman with chivalrous respect being unmanly is ignorant is perpetuated by overly macho males who are suspect. Never call a woman, “bruh” “bro” “nigga” “homie” No! That’s suspect as well. Don’t tell a woman to “man up” and “stop being so emotional”. No, she’s a woman, cater to her emotions; be understanding of her feelings. Treat her like a LADY, not like she’s your homie. Respect her femininity by making her feel safe and secure with your masculinity.

Why is it they can always question you on something, but when you ask them the EXACT SAME questions, you’re so “crazy” “over-emotional” “starting arguments”? Sounds like they have a guilty conscience.

10. Flashes of abuse and passive aggression

While you so many males have their Loyal Woman walking on egg shells, feeling like it’s easier just not to say anything to their temper tantrum throwing ass, there is an understanding man who will have that queen walking on rose pedals, willing to offer her the reassurance he never could.

When a woman is expressing how she feels, telling her to “shut the eff up” is never acceptable. The reason it is so easy for some males to constantly degrade a woman is he has yet to come to terms with the fact he is simply not attracted to a woman. So don’t act surprised knowing your intuition warned you. We don’t want to read your sad story on Valentine’s Day. You knew that man had a man. We don’t want to read your baby shower testimony saying your baby daddy has a sugar daddy. Trust your intuition. Don’t be afraid to ask if he’s ever been with a man before. It’s disrespectful to assume and not ask or project onto him. – Ebrahim Aseem

He wants to just yell, “I’m not attracted to any woman! It’s not you! I’m unsure about my sexuality and I am really scared and don’t understand” but the judgmental way society treats gay men and women scares him into choosing a life on the Down Low, pretending to be attracted to women, while secretly having unprotected sex with men.


I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, religious, atheist, tall, short, fat, skinny, black, white, purple or burnt sienna, if you love yourself, I love you too. But if you hate life enough to lie, hurt and project negativity towards others, stay the hell away from me.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
IG: @Fuel4TheBODY

My book will be out this summer.
To show my appreciation for the millions who have shared the article, “Why All Men Cheat On Loyal Women” I will come out with a book on this WHOLE topic, including how to find your dream mate. Thank you for supporting my movement of changing the way women are respected in this world. This is only the beginning. #SpeakLife

For Public Speaking inquiries & booking, contact me

I post new articles every Thursday.

Click on the link bellow for more! motivational videos & thought-provoking articles like this,
Or to read a preview of my book, which should be available summer 2014

About Ebrahim Aseem

I am a chef, writer & motivational speaker. I've been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years & I'm currently shopping my first book, "Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women"
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1 Response to How to tell if your man is on the DOWN LOW

  1. K says:

    Amazing accurate article!!!! Yup my ex was bisexual clearly!

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