Maybe if Women didn’t PROVOKE guys by TALKING BACK, they wouldn’t get ABUSED


Once I saw her forehead begin bleeding, I just lost it. I bawled up my fists, reached out my arms, and pulled, then pushed the body in front of me towards the door.

Everyone in the Starbucks gasped, stared and clinched their fraps, as if they were watching a MMA fight. As I glanced over at the woman, with a hair full of curls, resembling Mufasa’s mane, I noticed she was covered in dollar bills and sweat. A huge red hand print appeared on the left side of her face. I charged toward the same body I pushed seconds earlier, and gored my shoulder into his rib cage.

I hit men who hit women. You like beating up women? Fight a man instead. We can have fun. I’m not just going to sit there and take it. Because that’s what you like don’t you? You feel so powerful punching a woman, knowing the love she has for you will not allow her to hit you back. It makes you feel like a man to take power away from a woman by degrading her, making her trust you, dependent on you, only to break her.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
Twitter: @EbrahimAseem

I have been in a relationship with women who were either physically, sexually or verbally abused prior to me meeting them. Some of the strongest, most beautiful, successful women have been raped, hit, beat up, molested, and verbally degraded by a male in their past. It took all the love in my heart and all the patience in my soul to help these women heal from past wounds, often still open, yet I did it with a smile, because being abused does not take away from a woman’s worth.

A woman is not broken just, because she was abused by a man before. In fact, it proves she is strong. She took a hit and is still standing. She took abuse and is still breathing. Her resilient spirit is so attractive for being able to endure so much pain for so long, and still hold her head high. That is the definition of a strong woman, and that queen deserves nothing less than a king.

A Strong Man never has to abuse, disrespect, yell, curse out or vulgarly raise his voice to get a woman to listen, because he commands & earns her respect with his mentally mature actions. He knows, to hurt a Woman in any way is like cursing yourself & shaming your mother.

“This ain’t your fight man,” the boyfriend yelled, punching me hard in the shoulder, before grabbing my white collared shirt, in efforts to pull me off of him. Once he ripped my shirt, I pushed him against a newspaper stand jabbed him in the cheek, then I hit him with a cascade of combos to his midsection, while simultaneously avoiding his punches.

He hit his girlfriend, so I hit him. He open-palmed smacked the hell out of her, then said, “Bish, I told you not to buy all that junk on my Visa, I ain’t got much available credit.” The smack was louder than his words. She flew three feet, into the cash register, spilling the over-priced coffee she ordered on his card.

After I pushed him outside and started whopping his ass, his girlfriend hit me with her tote, and yelled, “leave him alone!” Seconds later, I heard police sirens. She called the cops on me for protecting her from the very male who had just abused her.

“Some of these females don’t want to get out of an abusive relationship, because they think it’s love when a man hits them,” one guy said, when I shared the story with a group of men at the basketball courts later that day.

“I disagree,” I replied. “They don’t love the abuse, it’s just once a woman invests emotions into loving someone, those emotions are hard to just throw away like they never existed. It takes time to get over someone, time they unfortunately do not have, if that person is abusing them in any way.

Besides, some guys tell a woman, ‘If you tell anyone I hit you, I will make your life a living hell and humiliate you to everyone you know’ so it’s not always that simple for someone to just walk away the moment after they are abused. It takes strategic planning.

The 2nd worst feeling is not knowing rather to GIVE UP or WAIT for them to change The worst feeling is waiting 2+ years only to realize they’ll always stay the same.

To leave an abusive relationship, a person has to be so tired of being degraded, they love them self more than they love that person. They have to give their abuser a false sense of security, like they won’t leave them. Then, when the abuser leaves, they must pack their clothes, electronics and belongings, and leave the abuser with no warning. Fear of embarrassment and judgement from others causes people who get abused to avoid police actions, but the worse thing someone abused can do is keep it a secret, that is an abuser’s greatest weapon.”

“Did you ever consider maybe if women didn’t provoke guys by talking back, they wouldn’t get abused?” one guy asked.

“No, that’s too idiotic for me to consider,” I responded, “because a woman speaking her mind could never provoke a real man to abuse her.

I don’t consider a woman who speaks up for what she thinks as having an attitude, it’s called being Strong Minded. Some males are AFRAID of a Strong minded Woman, so they use manipulation, verbal intimidation and abuse to down play her strength in fear it will trump his false sense of masculinity.

A coward male with low self esteem loves to torment a strong woman with his words, because he is jealous of her strength and wants to break her spirit. He will learn her insecurities, then play on them.

If she is skinny, he will say, ‘Nobody wants your boney ass. You have the body of a eleven year old boy. I only fuck with bad bitches who are thick. Real women have curves, what do you have? You’re lucky I even talk to your plain ass.’

If she is thick, he will say, ‘Nobody wants your fat ass. You have the body of a garbage truck. I only fuck with model bitches who are in shape, I don’t even know what shape you are, you’re shaped like a Hefty bag full of dog shit. You’re lucky I even talk to your morbidly obese ass.’

If she is very pretty, he will say, ‘Nobody wants your stupid ass. Your dumb ass ain’t shit. You’re only good for a nut, nothing more. You’re so worthless. I only fuck with successful bitches, who got their own car, own place and are making major moves in life. What do you have? Nothing, and your dumb ass ain’t even all that cute anyway.’

Notice a weak-minded, insecure, coward male will play on a woman’s insecurity, to rob her of any self confidence she has, in efforts to steal it from her. For the same reason Ursula robed Ariel of her voice in “The Little Mermaid”. A negative person can clearly see your worth, they just don’t want you to see it, because they want to rob you of your light, so they can posses it. People do not merrily envy the things you posses, no they envy your angelic spirit, and they extract energy from your spirit through abuse.

Women are treated like subhumans, judged off of their bodies, like livestock. When she speaks her mind, she is demoted, called crazy, told she is, “trying to be the man” told to “stay in her place, and that her “back talk” is the reason she is single or divorced and unattractive to a man, all of which is untrue.

A woman is not a child, whose retorts or assertions are to be considered “back talk”. Her words hold just as much weight as a man’s. To say, “women talk back” is to insist she is inferior to a male, the very male who relies upon a woman to give him life. If women were inferior to males as a gender, a male would not have to come out of a woman’s womb to be born.

“I feel you,” the guy agreed. “I came out a woman and I love my moms, but you know some of these broads provoke you with that smart mouth on them, to the point you gotta let them know to stay in a woman’s place. That’s not me saying that, its the law of nature. Just like when Sanaa Lathan was talking out the side of her neck and cheating on her good husband in, “The Family that Preys” she got the shit slapped out of her and she deserved it too. I saw that movie with a room full of women, and they all clapped and applauded when he hit her, because they knew she provoked him to hit her by talking back in front of his whole family.”

“Provoke is a poisonous word to use in reference to why a male chooses to abuse a woman,” I retorted. “Any male who thinks women provoke their abuser to abuse them is ignorant. Nothing a woman could ever do could provoke her to be hit, punched, raped, or abused in anyway by a male, because a weak, coward, wimp of a male does not need to be provoked to anger by a woman. His own insecurity and self inadequacy provokes him to anger.

Nothing makes a coward feel like less of a man than a strong woman who speaks her mind, despite what anyone thinks. By abusing her, he takes all power and confidence she has away, extracting it into himself. Hitting a woman makes him high, it empowers him. It gives him life. It is better than sex to him. It damn near makes his toes curl. Abusing a strong woman makes a weak male feel like a god.

If you think women talk back when speaking their mind, you have to ask yourself, ‘Why does a strong woman make me feel less of a man?’ In reality, she’s not the problem, you and your inadequacy are the problem.

Weak minded-males abuse women, simply to make her more loyal to him by extracting power from her. He knows a coward like him will never be able to earn a woman’s loyalty, so he takes it from her by abusing her. He knows by making her trust him, then breaking her trust via abuse, he will make her question herself like,

“why was I stupid enough to give this snake my trust and loyalty?”

“How could I be so weak to allow myself to fall in love with a man who would put his hands on me?”

A loving woman will often blame herself for how a male treats her, because she holds herself to a higher standard than she holds males. She knows he may not know any better, but she does.

This subconsciously can make her more loyal to her abuser, because for her to leave him at this point, she would be admitting to herself she made a horribly poor judgment in character by choosing to trust him in the first place. By staying with him, she is hoping showering her abuser with love will wash away the staining disdain he has for her. Of course, it won’t. Staying with an abuser will only make them want to abuse you more, because now, they will abuse you as discipline for allowing yourself to continuously be abused by them.

A man should never hit a woman. A woman should never hit a man. When a man and woman come together, that union his powerful enough to create life. Why tarnish that power with abuse, degradation and spirit breaking?

A male who uses woman breaking pimp tactics can smell the vulnerability on a woman and knows how to use abuse to drain her of her confidence. He knows, once he robs her of her confidence, she will be dependent on him for all forms of emotion, love or affection, because she wants to be loyal, not to him, but to the idea of love.

For a woman to endure any form of abuse from her man and stay with him is NOT being ‘loyal’. It is really being disloyal to him for her to fail to meet his shortcomings as a man with no disciplinary consequence, such as removing the blessing that she is from his life.

These woman breaking tactics are used by pimps to break a woman and make her his hoe. Isolate her from her family, buy her gifts, gain her trust, treat her like a girlfriend, rape her, abuse her, and she will be emotionally dependent on you. The reason why these tactics are used by so many males in relationships with women, is because fatherless boys are taught by older males growing up that the way to make a girl like you is to treat her like trash. Sadly, this pimp-woman-breaking tactic works far more than it should.

Pimp is a huge term of endearment in many circles particular my generation & yet, I legit don’t like when random males or homies see me being social at an event with the type of Beautiful Women they objectify & use the word ‘Pimp’ as a noun to describe me or an adjective to describe my interaction with those women. My response is always, ‘that’s an insult to me bro, not a compliment.’

It has become far too common for males with low confidence levels to use ‘Pimp Woman-breaking tactics’ on Confident, Successful Women by mentally breaking these women down, picking at the wounds of their insecurities & flaws, so they inadvertently give males out of their league and nowhere near their mental-maturity level the time of day.

This is the reason many men talk down about women, even from their own culture, as they are trying to convince them SELF why they don’t want her, when in reality, it is not that he doesn’t want her. He just knows he can not attract her. It’s the “don’t fire me, I quit” mentality. You only ‘quit’, because you know damn well you can’t play the position, are intellectually unqualified, morally bankrupt, romantically insufficient, and under esteemed.

You use pimp tactics to attract women and you’re supposedly a “grown ass man”? That’s weak game. That “pimp” mentality will never work on a woman who knows her worth. She’s only attracted to men with confidence, humility and mental maturity. She sees straight through your overly macho, false confidence, prideful pimp game. Trust.”

I have a low tolerance for Guys who hit women, they make me want to uppercut them, make them bite the curb then bash their skull in. In high school, I got 174 referrals, the majority of which were for picking or participating in fights with male class mates who thought it cool to slap their girlfriends around in front of everyone. Since then, I’ve beat the ass of a half dozen cowards who abuse their Woman, but he’s only half the problem.

I urge all of the Women in an Abusive Relationship, rather physical, sexual, or verbal, to realize, you do not need a Man to “discipline you”. You may call him “daddy” but he is NOT your father to put his hands on you. You deserve better, You are NOT a punching bag, you’re a Strong Woman who deserves a Strong Man who will not hurt you in any way. That is not how “all men behave”. Any male who puts his hands on you is a coward. His muscles do not make him a man, just like those bruises he puts on you do not make you a weak victim.

You are not a victim, you are a victor and survivor. If you think you can’t get out by yourself, do NOT be afraid to ask your brother, primo, uncle or brother in law for help. You do not deserve to be judged for a male putting his hands on your, abusing you or rapping you. You did not provoke him. How a woman dresses does not provoke a male to rape her. A woman speaking her mind does not provoke a male to hit her or yell at her. She doesn’t have an “attitude” she’s not “talking back”, she’s just a strong minded woman. Only coward males complain about a queen with her own mind.

It’s not that you’re “too emotional” “doing too much” or have “anger problems” as they say. No. You simply refuse to be walked over. If their judgemental ass has a problem w/ you respectfully speaking your mind, they don’t deserve the gift of your presence in their life.

A woman with a so-called Smart Mouth just wants a Strong Man who can penetrate her mind & vibrate his words against the opening lips of her frontal cortex, with his throbbing intellect so her attitude can change. A loyal woman does not want a man to fight her, she wants a Man to fight FOR her & put in work & effort to earn her heart.

If you have ever been abused, hit, raped or victimized by a man or woman, watching this short clip will help HEAL you

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
IG: @Fuel4TheBODY

My book will be out this summer.
To show my appreciation for the millions who have shared the article, “Why All Men Cheat On Loyal Women” I will come out with a book on this WHOLE topic, including how to find your dream mate. Thank you for supporting my movement of changing the way women are respected in this world. This is only the beginning. #SpeakLife

For Public Speaking inquiries & booking, contact me

I post new articles every Thursday.

Click on the link bellow for more! motivational videos & thought-provoking articles like this,
Or to read a preview of my book, which should be available summer 2014

About Ebrahim Aseem

I am a chef, writer & motivational speaker. I've been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years & I'm currently shopping my first book, "Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women"
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