Why NO male wants a GUARDED woman


How to love a BROKEN Woman, before being GUARDED leaves her single, forever.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women”
Edited by: Noemí Henriquez Follow @emivhenriquez

“Ebrahim, sir, I just can’t do it with these broken, jaded, scorned, bitter, guarded females anymore. I actually fell in love this time, and it was great the first month. We spent all our spare time together. Wine tastings, a cruise to Greece, I even introduced her to my grandparents. She told me she loved me. Now, she’s guarded and distant, saying she’s not yet over her EX, who ripped out her heart after years of making her play the side hoe role. I feel like I’m done my brother.

I go on Instagram, & women 1,000s of miles away show me more affection & sweet words than my girl does. They send me good morning texts, and good night pics. It’s hard to stay loyal to a broken woman who’s so guarded, when there’s so many affectionate girls willing to let a nigga in. When she’s happy, she’s so in love with me & it’s great! But when she’s guarded, she’s so distant with me, & it’s frustrating. How do you love a broken, guarded woman?”

No nigga wants a guarded woman. She’s bitter. She’s guarded. She’s scorned to love. She’s an over emotional mess. Cries for no reason. Afraid to let a nigga in. Because a “nigga” is a WEAK male. Sorry. Double-minded. Unstable in all his ways. Bro, we must cease being a woman’s NIGGA & start being a woman’s MAN.

Here are 10 steps to loving a guarded woman.

#1. Stop judging her emotions & holding her hard past against her.

She’ll be guarded. She’ll be difficult. She’ll say she needs time. She’ll have anxiety flashbacks of her EX. She’ll cry for no reason. She’ll feel so broken. Whatever you do, don’t you give up on her. Don’t you make her feel she isn’t enough. If you love a woman consistently enough, hard enough, you will fight her demons, defeat her trust issues, & the reward will be her heart. King, you deserve the woman of your dreams. Holistically improve your self to attract her, you amazing spirit you!

#2. Understand her. She only guards her heart, because all the issues of life flow from it.

Sometimes a woman is guarded & holds back, because she’s scared of falling for you so fast, when nothing in her past was ever made to last.

All she does is give & it leads to depression, because all she ever gets in return is pain, heartbreak & rejection. They tell her, “I’m different” yet, every day is the same. She holds back her trust, just to keep from going insane. She only has ONE drop of love left, so if you want to be her man, consistently SHOWER her w/ love & drown her w/ reassurance, do what no one ever does for her => Understand.

#3. Be strong for her. She always has to be strong for herself.

A weak male can’t love a guarded woman. He’s too busy judging her past & flaws to appreciate her worth. She’s not broken. She’s not fragile, she’s cautious. Her heart has been built up & teared down so many times, yet it still beats fine. She is an uncut diamond in the rough, yet she still shines. Cherish her. Cater to her. Be her rock.

Diamond sharpens diamond. Iron sharpens irons. Let a loyal woman be the gem that sharpens our iron, and we can reciprocate & sharpen hers. A guarded woman is more than capable of standing on her own, but a strong man won’t let her. He will hold her hand & stand by her side. She’s not a strong woman, she’s a woman of strength.

#4 Be patient with her Trust Issues.

Do you know what it feels like to meet someone, fall for them, have them give you the world, open up to them about all your demons & secrets, then have that person just snatch the whole world right from under you. Only to have to meet someone new & learn to trust again? It’s agony. And you want her to just trust you off the bat? How dare you even suggest it. EARN her trust, over time and support her as she takes responsibility for her past.

#5. Help her fight the demons in her mind.

Girls will over think the perfect man for them out their life. Her mind is her worst enemy. Pain is so comfortable, because love is so foreign.

Being a man of actions & consistency will help re-write the guarded thoughts in the dramatic script that is a woman’s over-thinking mind.

#6. Stop taking her strength for rudeness. You have no idea the tragic, life threatening pain she’s had to endure from her past, just to be strong today.

We have no idea how HARD it is for a woman to share her thoughts & feelings, when no one’s ever taken time to understand her, or HEAR her. Be her ear. Be her heart. Be that strong hand that grips & massages her curves after a long day, & just LISTEN. Be her peace. Take her stress away.

As a girl, her mother constantly cut her off, never allowing her to express herself. Males always cut her off in mid-thought.

She’s not rude or smart mouthed. The only way she’s able to speak her mind is to do it assertive, because it feels like she can never get her true feelings out fast enough for someone to listen.

When a woman respectfully calls you out, man the hell up & TAKE IT, listen, then apply her wisdom to your life, & ALLOW her to be your help meet.

Don’t get defensive, it makes you look guilty.
Don’t brush her words off, it makes her feel so sick, like she’s not being heard.
Don’t call her over-emotional, crazy, stupid, dumb, idiot, or say she’s trippin.
YOU are trippin. YOU are crazy. She’s not doing too much, she just loves you bro.

#7. Stop dangling commitment over your woman’s head, like a carrot to a horse to feed your ego & mask your insecurities. Commit to her already!

Don’t confuse a woman’s loyalty for stupidity bro. She can love you to death, yet, want absolutely nothing to do with you, for life. A woman’s fall back game insists upon your level of consistency.

Women are more than looks bro. Once we find ONE who improves the man we are, supports our ambitions, puts us in check, yet shows us respect, let’s let go all these girls with ONLY body & looks to offer, & give that rare ONE something real. Commitment.

You can’t blame a woman for being so guarded. She’s never been given commitment. You would guard a treasure from people too, if it has never been appreciated & valued. Teach her how to let you in by faithfully committing your self to her.

#8. Once she commits herself to you, be her provider. Fulfill her every need.

Nothing ever works for her. Nothing goes as planned. She always loses. Family. Promotions. Student loans. Friends. Commitment. She feels alone. She’s always so strong for herself. She deserves someone to be strong for her for once in this life. Be that for her bro.

A real man can’t stand seeing his woman suffering in any way
He will powerfully move mountains to keep her emotionally, spiritually, sexually & financially complete.

#9. Don’t use your words to tear her down, use your words to SPEAK LIFE into your woman.

I just want you naked. Past that fake smile you wear to hide your doubts. I know you combatively converse with the demons in your mind, i know you don’t feel as beautiful as you look. I just want to be your calm. Your peace. Your strength. Lean on me. Let’s be weird together.

We don’t have to lay together to be intimate. Let’s converse deeply about nothing. If I ease deep inside your mind, will all your fears drip out? I know you’ve always felt so misunderstood. Teach my how to speak your mind’s language the way no one ever could. Let’s be weird together.

Baby, when I look at you I don’t see a broken woman. I don’t see a guarded woman. I see buds of happiness, on the eve of blooming. I see clouds of closure on the verge of raining down, to wash away your trust issues. I see me. You complete me. What am I without you? I am broken. I am a gun, with ITS guard on, no bullets, worthless.

And I need you baby, I need you to set me free. I don’t want you to LET your guard down & LET me in. Keep it up, if need be. Just know, I will fight for you, I will EARN you. I will be strong for you & rip, fight, claw, punch & BREAK your guard down with the strong arms of the chambers of my heart.

I want lazy Netflix Sundays with you, where we order deep dish pizza & never leave the bed.

I want trips overseas to foreign countries with you, where we visit ancient bistros, & inhale art with our pupils.

I want a daughter who looks just like you, my beautiful flower, so I can take both my flowers to the beach, & water them with love as we watch the sunset.

I want cruises with you, live music concerts with you, deep hugging you from the back, as I draw the lyrics to the love song with the trace of my tongue on the back of your neck.

I want a life with you, not just because you are the most beautiful form of matter I have ever seen in the universe. It’s because you were made for me. You are my rib. You complete me. I want to be your poetic justice. Pain has written your life story as a tragic plot. The blood ink of my undying love for you will write you a fair tale crescendo, my queen.

#10. Become equally yoked with her.

If you can lay with her, you should be able to pray with her.
True marriage is not you to her, it is her married to the word, wisdom deep inside her & you married to wisdom inside you, thus you two walk together, married, because you agree.

You want her to open up to you? Fine, but when she does you will not use it against her, you will not make her pay for showing you her vulnerabilities. You will not make her feel wrong for opening up to you. Pour so much love into a guarded woman’s glass heart, that if she sips it slow, it will last her forever.

I met a sweet girl, she opened up to me & I made her feel foolish for it. I over questioned her & made her explain her feelings. I was selfish, young & dumb, & I lost out on something real.

Men, we will always lose when we take a loyal woman for granted. A broken woman will always be repaired one day, but a selfish man who breaks a woman is cursed to live with that regret for life. Don’t become that man, bro. You only get one queen. Cherish her, adore her, flood her with an abundance of LOVE, until she becomes it.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women”
IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
Blog: RealNewsPaper.wordpress.com
Motivational #SpeakLife vidoes: Youtube.com/RealNewsmagazine

About Ebrahim Aseem

I am a chef, writer & motivational speaker. I've been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years & I'm currently shopping my first book, "Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women"
This entry was posted in Thought Provoking Articles and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Why NO male wants a GUARDED woman

  1. Laila Shares says:

    Reblogged this on Laila Shares and commented:
    Oooh it’s exactly what’s inside of my heart.. LOVE IT!

  2. deawehbenson says:

    This was beautifully written. Thanks for sharing this perspective. My absolute favorite line was “she’s not a strong woman, she’s a woman of strength.”

  3. C Brown says:

    Thank you for letting God use you!!! Every time I read one of your posts, I feel SO encouraged.

  4. Jamal H. says:

    Can someone please explain to me why every “motivator” has the same message: “Males (not even acknowledged as men), you fuck up everything. Women, you’re beyond amazing, misunderstood, and men should bow to you”. Number 9 is what really got to me. For example, I’m supposed to put my dreams of having a son aside and replace them with having a daughter because you’ve been hurt in the past? What kind of “positive message” is that to men? Please explain how constant forum after blog after article of male bashing and female praising is suppose to not at all hurt me, but make me do better? It’s as if this article couldn’t be applied to men, as if we’re these inhumane beast whom underneath the “non emotional tough bravado” shield we are conditioned to wear, we don’t need the same compassion, understanding, work, etc. that’s expected of us? This makes no sense. Hell, I’ll be upfront, for those thinking it, yes I’m a man, and articles like this hurt. The message I got was “grow up, put all the things that have hurt you or want in life aside, and cater to her because you inherently owe her everything since you are a male and she owes you nothing. Shame on you for being born a male”. When a whole society perpetuates ideologies such as this, it’s no wonder men have higher suicide rates, lower life expectancy, higher suspectibility to diseases, etc. I just don’t understand, smh. (Yes I ranted a bit here. Had to vent some how. I appreciate all who read this though, and even more to those who respond and gives me a clearer conscious concerning all this).

  5. Jamal H. says:

    Someone enlighten me. Is this actually motivation, or more “men you suck, women youre the greatest things ever and can do no wrong” talk? Why am I constantly told that women owe me nothing, but the message throught this (especially number 9 where I have to give up my dreams of wanting a son to make you feel better) is that I inherently owe women everything? Why is motivation for males nothing but constant accusations, slandering, Etc., as opposed to actual inspiration, encouragement, etc. You mean to tell me women are queens out the box, but I’m not a king, let alone a man, until they tell me I am or are finally happy? Help me understand!?

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