An independent woman has her own. She doesn’t rely on a man to make her happy. She’s a boss. She makes her own money. Pays her own bills & comes home every night to an empty house. She eats alone. Drinks wine alone. Takes her self on dates. Is romantically frustrated. She scrolls through her selfies when she’s depressed, clueless as to why no man has made her beautiful, successful ass a wife yet.
A loyal woman deserves to be spoiled with time, affection & attention.
By: Ebrahim Aseem
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women”
“You just know my life don’t you?” a tall, short-haired, East African woman confessed during my Q & A session after a speaking event . “This is me. I feel like the more successful I get, the less real men approach me. Do you feel a woman should approach men?”
“Absolutely, positively not.” I answered.
“It is very emasculating to a man for a woman to chase him. It makes him feel you don’t think he’s man enough to chase you. It turns him off. He can never truly be attracted to you.
This is one reason he makes you his side chick & cheats on you repeatedly. A man will never stay loyal to a woman who doesn’t make him feel like a man. When you give a man loyalty before he’s given you commitment, it makes him resent you, pity you & lose respect for you.
A lion doesn’t want you to throw him a steak. A lion is a hunter by nature. A beast wants to chase & approach his target, then feast on its beautiful substance.
“Should a woman give up her career for a man & just be his little trophy wife” one woman asked.
“My wife better not give up her career for anyone,” I answered, “she better have her OWN mind. She better pursue her ambitions, and she better let me spoil her. Pick her up from work, take her straight to the mall & tell her, pick out something pretty, I’m taking you to the Maxwell concert tonight. She better let this spoil adorn her.”
“When you’re my man, I give you my all,” a Platinum Blonde, Greek woman complained, “I respect you, I don’t make you jump through hoops. I don’t require you pay for everything. I have my own, because I don’t want a man to control me. I make it so easy for a guy to like me and they still can’t act right. I’m convinced guys are intimidated by Independent Women who know their worth, all they want are bad bitches.”
“It’s not that men are intimidated by Independent Women,” I responded. “An independent woman emasculates a man.
She chops her standards in half to make it easier for men to obtain her.
An independent woman allows a man to lay with her, sleep in her house, and not pay rent. She pays her own bills.
An independent woman drives to a date herself, picks the man up in HER car & doesn’t require he put gas in it.
An independent woman behaves like she’s above reproach. No man can correct her. She’s always right. She talks down & rude to respectful men.
A man needs to feel WANTED. A man needs to be verbally respected, not slandered. An independent woman turns a man completely off, because she behaves like she doesn’t want him A man wants a SELF-dependent woman, with affection who appreciates the PROVIDER he was put here to be.
As long as a woman holds on to the idea she doesn’t need help, she will never get it. What do you think a husband is? He is a HELP MEET. Stop fronting, acting like you don’t need help in a relationship.
Where are the women who will let a man spoil them? How do you expect a man to acknowledge your own worth if you can’t acknowledge it yourself?
Paying makes a man behave controlling? What a perfect test. Now you’ve learned letting him pay will weed out the CONTROLLING men.
Chivalry is not dead, too many women don’t require it as a standard. Your child’s father wasn’t chivalrous, yet you blessed him with a baby.
Your EX had many side chicks when you met him, yet you still gave him your all & your loyalty. Where are the women with standards of a provider & the ambition of a rider?
Why isn’t having no side chicks & being a provider a standard women have for men they give their all to?
Until a woman starts having standards for who she lets inside her heart & her bed, she will forever be searching for something real.
A provider spoils all the women in his life with his time, attention & affection. He takes his sister on dates. Daughter on road trips. Nana to a matinee.
You will know I am a provider, because I will fill up your gas tank.
When you invite me over your house for dinner, I will bring you groceries.
When you tell me you are stressed from work, I will spoil you to spa treatment, mani/pedi & a deep tissue massage, so your pretty ass can get pampered, while I’m at work stacking, pursuing my ambitions.
You will know I am a provider, because you will no longer have bills. Baby, your bills are MY bills.
Your student loans are lookin’ kinda rough this month? Let me help you take care of that real quick. I just want you to know I appreciate all the hard work you put in studying, your educated intellect is legit.
Just because you have your own car, doesn’t mean you should have your own car note. Baby give me that shit, let me take care of it real quick.
I admire your drive queen, I love the fact that you’re a rider. So when I offer to pay that car note, don’t question me, just know you’re being held down by a provider.
A provider knows providing for your woman isn’t trickin. Calling it that is insane. A man provides for his woman, because he knows for him, she’d do the same.
A provider knows you can’t tell a girl with fresh eye brows & done hair nothing. Drop a couple of bills on pampering your woman. Keep her confidence high. Elevate HER! Approach HER. Chase HER. All the Side Chicks in your phone can’t replace HER.
A provider will never tell a woman:
“Let’s kick it”
A provider will say, “I’d love to take you OUT on a date Friday, for live music, bomb food & deep convo what time works for you?”
A provider will never use the term gold digger on a self-dependent woman. Immature little boys want an Independent Woman with her own money, so he never has to spend his own money, with his mentally poor & morally bankrupt ass.
A provider will let her know, “When you’re mine, you pain is my concern. Your hunger is my responsibility. Your bills are my debt. Your demons are mine to slay. You are my rib. I am your provider.
You don’t need a man? Well, I need you. What good is money & happiness with no family to share it with & spoil it on. I need you. How else can I become the husband & father I was meant to be? You complete my spirit. I need you. I want you, & I want you to want me too.”
By: Ebrahim Aseem
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women”
Motivational #SpeakLife vidoes: Youtube.com/RealNewsmagazine
Absolutely love reading your articles, you have a beautiful mind
What a wonderful article. Thank you for an refreshing, honest and insightful perspective from a eyes and heart of a man. I plan to save it as a quick & handy reference guide for qualifying & recognizing a real “provider”. Have a super-blessed New Year!
Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to create these messages of support and inspiration!
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