Why BEAUTIFUL WOMEN who want COMMITment will NEVER be ASKED on a REAL DATE, but a stripper will


The Most Beautiful Successful & Loyal Women have never been taken out on a real date.

“Many females are gold diggers, too stuck up, so how can I approach? If you don’t have a big bank account to spoil on them, they won’t let you ask them out,” a tall, muscular, Australian futures trader asked me at a public speak I did for a group of business men, through a third-party cooperation.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody

IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
Twitter: @EbrahimAseem

“The Most Beautiful Successful Women have never been taken out on a real date; not because they are gold diggers, cocky, stuck up or unapproachable. Beautiful Women are actually the most approachable, sweetest, friendly, financially independent, caring women,” I responded. “As men, we must be chivalrous enough to ask her out on a REAL date, plan and pay for everything. But don’t “ask” her; be confident and say,

“I would like to take you out on a date this Thursday to hear live music after dinner, a deep conversation and a walk on the boardwalk; what time are you available?”

You don’t ask a woman out; you ask her what time she’s available. This is out of respect, because a woman has the right to take however long she wants getting dressed. Perhaps her eyebrows are a bit bushy, and she needs to see her specific threader, maybe her toe nails are a bit on the eagle claw side and she needs a pedicure; but she’s DESERVING of a date, so to even ask her the question, as if it is in question, is disrespect. Let her know when you want to take her out, then give her the option to let you know if she feels you deserve to be graced with her presence on a date.

Never tell a woman:
“Let’s meet up”
“Let’s hang”
“Let’s kick it”
“Let’s chill”
No, ask her when she’s available for a date.

She is NOT your ‘bro’. Treat her like a woman. Don’t ask a woman, ‘so where do you want to go?” No, you plan it. You pick the venues and events; yes events plural. Please do not take a woman simply to a movie on a first date young kings.

She doesn’t know you from a random stray yorkie on the street; the last thing you want to do is spend two hours with a woman sitting in a dark room, not talking to her and not looking at her. She might as well have stayed home and watched Scandal in the comfort of her own bed, cuddling with her cat or dog. At least then, her phone would be fully charging, instead of it dying while she’s dying inside; stuck sitting next to a male with not enough romance to take her somewhere exciting for a date.

Women long for spontaneous acts of romance. She’s both an intellect who needs to be mentally stimulated, as well as a goofy young woman with an inappropriate sense of humor, who needs to be stimulated with sarcastic wit and a dash of randomness.

“So why should I pay just to sleep with a woman? Most women let you sleep with them on the first night free of charge anyway,” a British man with a heavy accent asked.

“You’re not paying for sex when you treat a woman on a date,” I answered. “See, diamonds are pursued, because their worth is clearly valued and treasured. You are treating her to a date, because she is DESERVING. If you spoil her with consistency and attention, she will spoil you with love and loyalty. Sure a promiscuous female may sleep with you on the first date, but a mentally mature woman knows; you don’t deserve to lay with her, if you’re not willing to take her out on a date and prove to her why you deserve any of her time.

We have to check yourselves as men; some males only commit to a woman, not because he is ready to be faithful to her, only because he doesn’t want any other men having sex with her. The reason some males are hesitant to commit to a woman is, because he knows he is afraid of love and afraid to get his commitment broken; but he wants to have sex with promiscuous women, because he knows they will never ever break his heart, as they only want sex. It is up to us to be strong-minded men, and not be so emotional, we are hesitant to commit to a woman. Be sure of the real reason you don’t ever ask a woman out on a date; it may just be, because you’re afraid of love.

To listen to Ebrahim Aseem’s very first radio interview, click play bellow:

When I’m on a date with a Woman, I like to make her laugh; see her cheese and smile hard. I like to hold her hand and hug her close, so I can feel her heart beat through her chest and onto mine. I like to look her in her eyes the whole time we deeply converse and wax sarcasm. Little things like that make taking a woman out on a date so special. You may think that’s corny, but women prefer a corny man over an arrogant asshole who is too afraid to bring her a bouquet of flowers, because he doesn’t want to be called ‘corny’ by his male friends.

I want you young kings to know, there are women out there who think good, successful men like you don’t exist, and that is because we as men have to step it up with our actions. What defines a king is not his physical physique, nor his sexual prowess; what defines a king is his actions matching his regal thought pattern. Many young women have never met a good man like you, and are starting to doubt whether or not chivalrous men like you even exist.

I received a tweet recently from a young Canadian woman who really humbled me. She asked, ‘@EbrahimAseem can you tell me why beautiful women who want commitment will never be asked on a real date, but a stripper will?”

Reading that made me feel guilty as a man, not just because of the sad-face emoji that preceded the tweet. It was because of the sincerity in her tone, and even though her statement doesn’t directly apply to me or reflect my own behavior; the fact so many women feel this way, makes me see I’m not doing enough as a man to show young kings, the importance of faithfully committing yourself to a woman is; it will teach us the discipline to mentality mature as a man and the responsibility that can help us in our career, education, family and every aspect of our lives.

Some males are too scared to even ask a woman out, so he instead will say, ‘you wanna grab lunch?’ Males do this for one of two reasons: he is either very shy and inexperienced in dating a respectable woman, or he wants to use the friend-zone role against a woman, so she can never expect commitment from him.

As men, we have to make our intentions with a woman crystal clear. From the moment we first take her out on a date; she should know whether or not it is a platonic date, or if there is any romantic interest involved. Don’t waste her time; tell a woman on the first date,

‘Sweetheart, just as clear as I can see my reflection in your deep brown eyes, I can clearly see you are deserving of commitment and faithfulness from the man of your dreams. I want to get to know you to see how compatible I am with you, in efforts of pursuing a possible relationship with you in the near future. I understand this may take time, however, I intend to take you out on dates consistently and court you, affording you the ability to clearly see for yourself if I’m worthy of your commitment.’

After you tell her this, respect whatever decision she makes. If she let’s you know she doesn’t want to pursue anything further with you; do not stalk a woman, blow up her phone, try to communicate with her on various social networks and make her fear for her safety. You’re just proving why she was initially correct in not giving you the opportunity to pursue anything with her.

Conversely, if she does let you know she wants to pursue something with her, do not waste valuable time you could be spending getting to know her, trying to have sex with her.

If you really like a woman, don’t text her repeatedly asking her, ‘so when are we going to be able to romantically express ourselves with each other?’ Don’t text her repeatedly asking her to send you pictures; and please don’t send a woman pictures of your penis she didn’t as for.

If you really like her, walk into her job and surprise her with flowers. There’s a 1800Flowers app right in your phone. Show up to her job during her lunch break with her favorite flowers in hand and say, ‘Good afternoon gorgeous, these are for you. Now, grab your coat and your cell phone from the charger; I’m taking you out for lunch today. What time are you taking your lunch?’ Again, don’t ASK her out, ask her what time she’s available to go out with you.

It’s always males who have never attracted a successful, intelligent woman of substance who say, ‘I refuse to spend money on getting to know a woman; I’m no woman’s trick.” Understand this young kings; it is NOT tricking to spoil a woman who is deserving of being treated, its all about hospitality. If I invite you over my house, I’m going to cook for you, correct?. I’m not going to tell you to order a pizza; nor am I going to make you go half on a pizza with me. You are blessing me with your company, so it is only right that I be hospitable enough to treat you.

Likewise, if you ask or invite a woman out for a date, why the hell would you ask her to pay for her own food, or pay her own admission? She is blessing you with her company and her presence. Understand, it is not up to a woman to pursue a man and give you attention to let you know she likes you. The woman is the treasure, and is to be pursued as such. I have never seen a diamond have to find a man who can treasure its value and appreciate its worth. Good women are diamonds in this regard.

If you see a woman is caring, loyal and deserving; let your spoil adorn her. A grown woman with her own money, should not always have to spend her own money. Make her call off work, but give her what she would have made that day at work, and then some. Then, surprise her with a trip to a snorkeling resort with a spa, mani/pedi treatment, so you she can enjoy spontaneous entertainment that day, before you treat her to a live jazz show that night.

Women are not gold diggers, a weak-minded female who lacks self ambition may be a gold digger, but an ambitious woman is not. Regardless, a woman’s pockets should never affect how much you spoil her with. She can make good money; still spoil the hell out of her, and when she wants to do something special for you, she will spoil the hell out of you; but you’re not doing it so she will sleep with you or commit to you. A woman knows whether or not she will ever sleep with a man, commit to a man, or if she will never give a man a second date based off how you behave on the first.

If when the bill comes, and a woman asks you, ‘how much is our bill? I’ll pay half,’ and you are cheap enough to ALLOW her to pay half, she will smile at you, pay it and never give you a second date. You just failed her test; oh yes. A woman has little tests she administers on a man, to see what type of man he is. Of course she has her own money; she just wants to see whether or not she is in the hands of a man, or a cheap ass little boy.

Never disrespect a woman by making her treat herself on a date you asked her for. She thought you were asking her out to prove to her why you deserve any of her time. Don’t make her regret giving you her number in the first place. If you’re not going to pursue a woman with enough consistency to take her out on a date within a week of her showing you with her hints and actions that she likes you; she will feel you are waiting her time, and she will cease to respond to your texts.

Text etiquette means everything to a woman of the twenty-first century. Even if she has a major crush on you, she still wants you to text her first. Loyal women are old-fashioned; they love to be pursued. However, if a woman does text you back and hours go by and her text just sits there unread; laying in your phone, like a homeless man on a park bench; meanwhile she knows, that you know, that she can see you liking multiple IG honeys’ pictures on Instagram; she will at that point put you on her ‘un-datable’ list on the tablet in her mind.

Don’t complain to a woman, asking her why she never: texts you back, comes to see you, or returns your calls; that’s unmanly. It’s not that she’s ‘ignoring’ you or ‘curving’ you. She is genuinely just tired of you wasting her time. She’s not ‘going ghost’; loyal women simply know a male doesn’t deserve her time if he isn’t willing to put in the consistent effort to earn it. You have yet to take her out on a real date, you have yet to articulate to her you want to date her exclusively and you still have yet to completely cut off your EXs. She can tell you obviously are not mature enough to commit to her, so don’t be surprised when she treats you like a stranger.

Inconsistency is a turn off to a loyal woman. The Idea women are more attracted to men who don’t show them any attention is false. Yes, it is attractive to a woman when a man is busy with his career and education enough to be married to his ambition, yet makes time for her. However, if you are giving random girls on social networks the time and attention you could be giving her; it will completely turn her off to you.

The more attention you give a woman, the more likely she is to allow her feelings for you to grow. When you take a woman on a date, or spend time with her in any way, she should have your full undivided attention. Not half your attention on her, half your attention of every notification that pops up on your cell phone. Your phone should not even be visible when you and her are spending one on one time; that is her time. You’re on a date with her, not your phone. It’s a turn off to a woman when she hears your phone notifications constantly going off while she is giving you the time and attention every man in her phone wishes they were getting from her. She wants to know if you can be loyal to her before a commitment with her.

The worst thing you can do to a strong-minded woman is insult her intelligence. Don’t try to lie or run game on her when she questions your loyalty. Don’t lie and say, ‘I need to check my phone, it’s business.’ She knows it’s not your job texting, by the consistency of the frequent notifications. She knows back to back iMessage notifications when she hears them, and no job would be that redundant in communication.

Even if it is business, what the hell does that have to do with her? When you’re in a business meeting, you would not take time out of it to respond to her texts, nor would a mentality mature woman want you to. She can respect your ambition; besides, that time is meant for your business to have your full attention.

Likewise, when you choose and commit to a date with a woman, you are promising her your full, undivided attention. You allocated that time for her and marked that date on your calendar for that specific time to spend with her. If you needed to handle business, you should have chosen a later date; but never rob a woman of time and full attention she deserves, as you may be the very man who restore her faith in real men and true love.

Last spring, I went out on a date with a Beautiful Eritrean Woman. I met her at Target, when I saw her shopping with twin snotty-nose babies who were touching everything she rolled the double stroller by. I really loved how much she was laughing, smiling and enjoying being goofy with the identical young children she was caring for; so I approached her. After introducing myself to her; to make her laugh, I said, ‘wow you have two beautiful children,’ very loudly, then I whispered to her, ‘but you need to put their little monkey asses in check, like Rafiki did Simba with his bamboo stick.’

She laughed extremely loud when I said that, to the point people in the store started staring at us. This woman’s smile was breathtaking pretty, with the beauty and grace of a Disney Princess, yet her laugh resembled the ratchetness of the hyenas from Lion King. After coming down from her laughgasm, she replied, ‘I can’t discipline them in any way, they are not my children, I’m a professional nanny.’

To which I reply, ‘then you need to professionally spank their little asses.” At which point, she started laughing uncontrollably yet again. Young kings, it is imperative you pay attention to the signs a woman gives you. I have noticed once I make a woman have a ‘Laughgasm’ I can tell she wants me to cut to the chase and ask for her number, so I did just that. After which, I bought the four of us Wild Cherry ICEEs, because the only reason I walked into Target in the first place was strictly for an ICEE.

That same day, I called her and invited her out on a date for later that night. Young kings, please do not use the lame ‘three day rule’ to wait and call a woman after you get her number. That rule is complete and utter B.S. She’s not going to think you’re too anxious if you contact her that day; she gave you her number to use it, so oblige her desire.

Once you get a woman’s number, don’t use it exclusively to text her; use it primarily to call her. An initial text is fine, but if you do not call a woman once she gives you her number; she will not take you seriously as a man. She’s not looking for a texting buddy; she’s looking for a man to potentially give her all to. Knowing this, I called her that night and invited her out on a date, but even though she said yes; she called me back thirty minute before our date and told me she was very busy.

We ended up rescheduling three times before we had our first date two weeks to the day, from the first day we met, and I talked to her on the phone everyday up until our first date. Understand, just because a woman is busy every time you ask her out, doesn’t necessarily mean she is flaking on you. You don’t know how challenging it is for a woman who is in school, works a job, and has her own business she is starting up. You don’t know how hard it is for her to find time in her busy schedule to free up more than an hour or two. As men, we have to be understanding of a woman’s schedule, never make her feel guilty for being ambitious and having a life outside her dating life.

Once I finally took this East African woman out, I treated her to a date to a Chakra Yoga Spa before dinner and live music on the boardwalk. I planned and paid for everything, and not only did we have a great time; I had her having laughgasm session the whole not. That is my secret weapon and I want you to use this as yours young kings. I’m hilarious, witty, goofy and extremely sarcastic on a date with a woman. I do this to show her my true nature, so she knows whether or not she wants to continue to get to know me.

When I picked her up from her house in East Oakland, I greeted her with Tiger Lilies and a box of chocolate dipped strawberries I made for her, to share my love of cooking with her. Giving a woman flowers and chocolate is not corny, it’s considerate; and that chivalrous behavior is what women look for in a man.

Our yoga spa date was fun and relaxing. They taught us how to tap in to our pineal gland to promote mental ascension and how to get in tune with our chakras and have them aligned; needless to say, it was extremely deep. After yoga, we ate dinner on fisherman’s wharf, followed by a walk by the water and a two-hour conversation overlooking the San Francisco Bay. The most memorable point in the conversation for me was, when she looked deep in my eyes, and while fighting off a smile; she told me, ‘Ebrahim, I want to thank you for tonight. You really restored my faith in real men; I’m glad to know true love does exist in our generation, this is what it should be like.’

Even though I am single and enjoy going out on a fun date with a young woman, I don’t take every beautiful woman who wants my time out on a date, because in the back of my mind; I’m looking for a WIFE. Each woman I meet, I want to see if she is wife material, because I know damn well I am I’m husband material.

By the end of each first date with me, women realize; I’m not one of these typical males they are used to who are just saying all the right things so he can get her undressed. By my actions they can clearly see, I’m on a higher mental level than the males they have been exposed to, because I’m not looking for a girlfriend, I’m looking for a wife. This is what you want to embody when you take a woman out on a date young kings. The way you can get the exact queen you deserve is by showing her there’s a distinct difference between you, and every other male she’s ever met through your intention to commit to her and your ability to spoil her.

If we want our sisters to be taken out, if we want our daughters to be spoiled; as Men we must to set the first example. How you treat a woman is how your sisters will allow a man to treat them. Young kings, you have to consider that you deserve your dream woman; you deserve the caliber of woman who merits spoiling.

I will spoil the hell out of my future wife. Give her my card & let her go on shopping sprees, so she can take my sister with her. I want my woman fitted and fashionably fly at all times. If your woman is tacky & unkempt, eyebrows & nails messed up, looking like eagle’s claws gripping the bottom of her open-toe heels, tracks all showing, weave looking all wild like Mufasa’s mane; it reflects back negatively onto you as a man. The woman you pursue is a reflection of you, your ambition and your level of class, or lack thereof.

The sign of a mentally mature man is one who can commit to something, commit to a major, commit to a career, commit to a creative discipline and commit to a loyal woman, respectively. Don’t just make her a friend with sexual benefits, while stringing her heart along.

Make it official with her, and once you do; be all in. Don’t lie, cheat or talk to women on the side. Don’t make her your ‘main’, or your ‘number one’; cut off all your self-proclaimed side hoes & make her your ONE & ONLY. Take her out on a REAL date, where you plan & pay for everything; not just to your house for sex.

Commit to her; define what you and her are. Don’t make a woman feel like she’s not the only one. Don’t tell her ‘we don’t need a title’; it’s not about a damn title, it’s about loyalty. All a loyal woman really wants is consistency and attention. Don’t have her wondering all day, ‘so what are we?’ Show her off; make her feel special in front of her friends. Kiss her and tell her you love her in front of your bros; don’t switch up & treat her differently in front of your friends. Don’t hide your relationship with her. Compliment her everyday, let her know how much better she makes your life. Make her smile & happy all throughout the day; never make her sad, frustrated or feel she has no one to talk or vent to. Be the one she can talk to about her problems, listen & give solutions to her; speak life into her heart, so it vibrates through her whole body to the point she feels you give her life.

A taken woman should never feel alone or lonely while in a relationship with you. If she is loyal to you, be loyal to her. The worst feeling to a loyal woman is questioning if you are out there making her look stupid to everyone for choosing to be loyal to her. Never wait until it’s too late to show a woman how much you really love her. This is not being soft, this is not being a simp; this is being a MATURE man.

We have to wake up & come to the cognitive realization that proving our manhood to other males by disrespecting women over and over, cheating on women over and over, and entertaining the company of multiple women over and over is the definition of insanity. What proves our manhood is how much we can humble ourselves to the one who gives us all life, a woman.”

I want young queens to know it is not your fault as a woman you are single. It is, however your responsibility as a woman to remember: a male will only treat you how you allow him to; he will only constantly do to you what he feels he can get away with.

One reason so many males are so hesitant to commit to a woman, is because some females allow males to sleep with her without commitment, never challenge him to be a man and meet minimal standards, and accept any kind of treatment and disloyalty from a male.

If you are so unhappy being single, you can’t enjoy your life and feel as though you “need a man”, you are not ready and fully healed for a serious relationship. Start loving your true self and stop trying to find a man. You will never need to find a man, the man you deserve will find YOU. I never seen a diamond have to find a man who can treasure it’s value and appreciate its worth. Good women are diamonds in that regard, but even a diamond must know its own worth and what it deserves; commitment.

Women with ASS are WIFE Material, that’s why Skinny Girls are SINGLE ====>

New article ^^^^

By: Ebrahim Aseem

IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
Twitter: @EbrahimAseem


I am an author, and I do Public Speaking events in the San Francisco Bay Area.

For Public Speaking inquiries & booking, contact me AEAseem@gmail.com

I post TWO new articles every Thursday, here is my podcast:

Click on they PLAY button to hear now! ==>

To download to your phone: click on download bottom ARROW in top right hand corner of the podcast bellow

Click on my picture of me and the woman who raised me, my moms bellow for more!
thought provoking articles like this,
Or to read a preview of my book, which should be available April 14, 2014 on Amazon.com

Follow/add me on Facebook and request your free copy ASAP


About Ebrahim Aseem

I am a chef, writer & motivational speaker. I've been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years & I'm currently shopping my first book, "Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women"
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47 Responses to Why BEAUTIFUL WOMEN who want COMMITment will NEVER be ASKED on a REAL DATE, but a stripper will

  1. Amy says:

    Your writing style made me feel like I was reading a poem. It’s very beautiful and well thought out.

  2. Edward Johnson says:

    You are absolutely right in documenting the difference between a male and a man. As Dr. Coles stated we are males by birth, men by choice. Excellent article!

  3. Eci says:

    I love this! And you are handsome! I wish more men had this mentality.

  4. Ariel Chung says:

    I really enjoyed your article. It made me laugh out loud, awwweee at certain times and wonder at some of the descriptions. It was a breath of fresh air for me to see a man say these things. I loved it. When you said “bummy” I wondered if you were from the islands because I have only ever heard island people use the term bummy. Again I loved the article, good job.

  5. Frenchy says:

    Your article was very thought provoking and very well written. I found it to bit a bit too long for my tast as an article. You needed to hit on a point only once to get the attention each point is meant to deserve. All in all, a VERY good read from such a young man. You’ve got the “queens” attention. The trick now is to get more “kings” to read.

  6. Sarah says:

    Holy crap Are you dead spot on!!! You need to write a book and help men out there!!! This was so dead spot on, several girlfriends have posted it on fbook! I made my boyfriend read it. Truly inspirational and totally spot on!! We’ll done!!
    CA- USA

  7. Whitney McElrath says:

    Thoroughly enjoyed reading your article. I often wonder some of things you mentioned and now understand that different types of males exist. Which explains a lot. Thank you for bringing more awareness to this topic, well said!

  8. LadyLibra says:

    Really enjoyed this article. I know so many men who truly need to read this.

  9. Leslie Smith says:

    Another interesting one!! I feel his perspective is insightful and entertaining.

  10. Solo says:

    Chivalry is dead my g…you want men to uphold a standard of supplication and pedestalization yet this does not gel with reality. Good well written article and it sounds like you enjoy the validation you get from women when you write such things. But it also sounds like you go on a lot of expensive first dates. Sad part is that you got the Ethiopian chick not because of your chivalry but you obviously exhibited that you have game. Fundamental attribution error if I’ve ever seen one.

    • I found the article to be beautifully written and very positive. But sadly i have to agree with you on the chivalry is dead part. Ebrahim should come to my area and try to get a date with the sistas here. They will change his feelings in a flash,trust me.

  11. john says:

    Good read. Definitely thought out. But where I have issues is that in 2014, acts of chivalry are not received in such a fashion that you describe. As a nice young man, these young women today love to fall back to he’s “creepy,” I’d rather go out with my girls to the club or this that or the other, and then receives a text from some dude and then they go there late at night to sleep with them. The romantic version of what you think should happen in 2014 is a tougher draw than described. Secondly, technology and feminism in 2014 has largely liberated women to the point where they are so independent that they do not seek long term relationships the way young, beautiful women used to. This idea that because she’s young and beautiful that she DESERVES this that n the other is outdated. Women, being that they are more equal than ever before, need to earn a man’s attention and interest as well. This is a two way street. After I’ve planned a date and things went well, and I’ve been around, a lady should have no problem investing her time or resources to show a man what she wants from him. A good man is earned. Not deserved. There aren’t as many good men as there are good women, so by the numbers, a good man’s value is much more worthy of women who are willing to prove it. Not every woman deserves a good man. Thanks for the article.

    • Jerome says:

      I agree with everything you wrote. I wish it was a world where “you get what you give”, but today’s social dynamic tends to lean towards taking advantage when ever possible.

    • Jenn says:

      I agree with some of what you said. As an independent, college educated woman, if a great guy that I liked took me out on a few dates, I would do the same for him. It is a two way street. If you’re being nice and getting called creepy, you’re talking to the wrong girls.

  12. Theena Theen says:

    Reblogged this on The Silver Lining of the Optimistic Pessimist and commented:
    This is a phenomenal article!

  13. Kimberly Musgrove says:

    Great article!

  14. Wait... Que? says:

    Reblogged this on educationespanol and commented:
    Good piece… and while not saying I fit the description, still appreciate that it’s noticed overall.

  15. Liz says:

    Great article for ALL men and women. Regretfully, age does’t guarantee maturity.

  16. Ranae says:

    Love this…

  17. Cool city... says:

    I think this was a very great read! Only problem is I feel its a bit outdated, things have changed drastically in this new era. Women are a lot more pretentious these days whether they want to admit it or not. Also why go all out for a woman on the first date, when you dont even know if she is deserving of it and would do the same for you once she got to know you. You simply dont know what you are getting until you got it. Meanwhile your pockets got hit hard for a women to have such a great evening and go straight to the cat house thats blowing her back out right after you walk her to her car. I call it fattening the cow for slaughter. Save your money young kings, plan a more moderate first date, get to know her for who she really is.. Its gonna save you time and money in the long run. Real N get choose. lol

  18. Naomi Powell says:

    Great Great!!!!!! Keep up the good work

  19. Well written but totally disconnected from reality. I suggest maybe taking every woman you meet off the pedestal and putting up the one who deserves to be there. At least here in Miami, I can tell you, most beautiful women are not nice at all. They are so used to being kissed up to by every guy who gets a paycheck that they really are mostly unapproachable. Sorry.

  20. Dub says:

    I get what your saying but chivalry only works with specific females…we have all these societal norms where people have to be a certain way but in 2014 those norms are being broken and have been for a while…We’ll agree to disagree on this bro but good read!

  21. Marg York says:

    Getting back to sending flowers to her at work: hey, maybe for all you know her work place doesn’t allow it (you’d be surprised what some workplaces allow and do not allow) or perhaps she hates flowers (some ladies do!) or she might even be allergic to what you might send her…or she might hate what you might send her.:)

    Do not ask her out last minute; if you are interested in a Friday date, call her on at least SUNDAY to ask. And no texting no emailing no social media: Call and ask by voice. Last minute dates are out of the question.

    And call her nightly every day before the date.:) No dutch treat garbage, no meeting her AT the site where the date is (pick her up at her place) and do not come dressed like a slob. Make the effort.

  22. Terrie says:

    Wish I could meet a man with these qualities, and I’m not looking just waiting for him to show up!

  23. J Allen says:

    First of all…that was wayyyyy to long, bruh.
    Second, all that advice is garbage…its one sided, irresponsible and gives women the impression that they are royalty…THEY ARE NOT!! Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors….and I’m not just talking physicality.

    If you go into courting a women with the mindset and attitudes you just described…O guarantee you’ll be cheated on! You can NEVER give a women all of that because she’ll eventually misuse the gesture.

    Now, of course any women who reads all this non sense will disagree with me and swoon to your short novel….and that is your intention.

    It’s good game bruh…but any man who has lived past the age of 30 will recognize this rhetoric for what it is.

    I’m willing to bet 90 percent of your audience is female…..some guys use other methods to game and attract women….you use flattery and fairytale wording as your bait.

    I would nvr allow my daughter to fall for this garbage because its not real or sustainable….be who you are upfront…good, bad…ugly and also know that these females…and I mean professional….high class to those who haven’t made it there yet…are just as imperfect as the man they’re pursuing….everyone trying to put on a show.

    Women want equal rights only when it benefits them…but if it cost them…they want no parts of equal rights.

    Go to court…they want half…but throughout the marriage never offered to pay half the mortgage. Tell me how that works, bruh?

    Sorry, all that bs you were kicking…continue doing so…for your target demographic. I’m sure you’re having a field day with these gullible women…but you can save your dexterity youngsta.

  24. Yeah right says:

    Lol at this garbage and you disgusting women eating it up. Never getting married crew. Will continue to smash and dash on these same women that expect this crap

  25. You’re a great writer, and I love your style. I also love some of what you’ve said, but I do have some concerns with your messages.

    I’m glad you value and appreciate women, but it is concerning to still see women as the “diamonds” to be won as opposed to a 3-D human being in articles. We are not perfect, and there are far more qualities to a woman than whether or not she maintains her appearance and how many men she elects to sleep with.

    I’m very happy to see people forwarding the idea that, in order to make a foundational relationship, you need to be all in. I particularly love your phrase “Understand this young kings; it is NOT tricking to spoil a woman who is deserving of being treated, its all about hospitality.” I agree – it is all about hospitality; the hospitality of being human. The hospitality of *treating* each other as human beings. I would have loved to see more discussion of this humanism in your article.

    I love the high standard you are holding men to. I love that you are opening a dialogue into the need for emotional connection in pursuing a relationship. I love that you are encouraging open honesty. But, in regards to the women you describe, I do not see a whole being in the article. The woman described does not exist in real-life, and cannot. Sooner or later flaws reveal themselves; the woman who runs her own business, takes care of two children, is in school, *and* looks great 100% of the time is a myth.

    If I were the author of this article, I would tweak the message slightly from finding the “perfect” relationship to finding a partner who you can truly love. It is completely true that your partner is a reflection of you – but it is not only the physical appearance and chastity that define the greatness of the reflection.

  26. Donotreadthistrash says:

    I hate this article for so many reasons. After the first paragraph i just realized how blatantly sexist this whole article is. Beautiful independent women are always asked out on dates. Trying to display that girl in the picture as never having dates is a JOKE. Maybe the women reading this article and believing it should stop feeling sorry for themselves and ask a man out on a date. This is a new generation. Men and woman are equal. You can approach men as well, do not blame them for not making a move as you don’t always come across as interested. Not to mention that relying on men to pay and men to respectfully ask for “when your free, to be considerate” are you kidding me? Not only do we have to make the first move, pay, but we also have to make sure we are asking in a proper way? No wonder why men think beautiful women are stuckup. This article just displays how stuck up women can be. I refuse to read the rest of this garbage article. Women, like the ones in this article, are total hypocrites. They do not want to be treated like a sex object, but they demand to be admired like trophies.

    • Garbage article says:

      This was written by a guy with a poor understanding of how relationships should be.This might as well be straight out of the 1950’s where girls are just trophies to be displayed. How beta can you be bro? No wonder you are showing a picture of your mom and not of your girlfriend. You are sexist and do not deserve a girl if you think this is how you should treat them. Women have the same chances as men to ask someone out, if they are not being asked out on dates its for a couple reasons. They aren’t good looking, they don’t come across as interested, or they are a total bitch. Horrible article and saddening to think that how delusional some men are in how they should treat women.

      • I like some of your points, but some of what you say comes across as very bitter towards women.
        Totally agree women shouldn’t be trophies, but nor should they be sex objects. You are right, we should be equal. I do think the author has a valid point in there somewhere about treating women with respect, though I think it’s clouded by a number of other things.
        I am concerned that women without a date are defined very narrowly by you, particularly in regards to saying women who are not “good looking” can’t get dates. I’d like to think that, out there, there are many men who are more interested in the whole package (a large part of which is personality) rather than a narrow standard of beauty, and that women of all physical appearances have the opportunity to be loved.

      • Lynn says:

        Mind you, beautiful does not reflect simply on the appearance of a person. I don’t think that the author mentioned anything with regards to appearance. Beauty is defined differently by different individuals and I agree with loveandcoffeeshops. I viewed beauty in this case as a more general term referring not only to appearance but any trait that could potentially be considered beautiful.

  27. Laurie says:

    All I can say is wow. It took me a few days to read this article, not because I’m a slow reader or anything, but because I had to stop and check who is peeping through my window LOL. Seriously, it’s as if you have seen my love life firsthand and wrote a remarkable article on it. I want my credit! I kid, but honestly, I’ve had my fair share of heartache and I used to think I was the problem. I used to question the standards I have, sigh but reading this has truly opened my eyes. I’m not rushing anything, I’m not changing my standards or devaluing myself in any way, shape, or form to allow a guy (and I say guy, because a real MAN would rise to the challenge of me, a real WOMAN) to manipulate his way in my life. I am a privilege to know, to love, and to cherish and my husband, whenever he reveals himself will know it. Sorry for pouring my feelings out on this post but I was compelled to say what’s on my mind. Great article! I look forward to maintaining my young queen title while preparing to meet my young king. Thanks for the article and more importantly, your words of wisdom.

  28. Ken says:

    I’m going to have to say that while well written, it is interminably long and not based in reality. Women will eat this up, as they all feel the deserve this level of unsustainable attention and sycophancy. No one, male or female deserves the intensity of what you are describing; as a matter of fact, you’re doing people a disservice by promoting this fantasy.

    Please don’t misunderstand, if you ask someone out, you should have some sort of plan about what you want to do, either before you ask, if you know them, or shortly after, if you don’t. But making plans without including them in the process can, and often does, backfire; she likes steak and you’ve got reservations for sushi. Additionally, when you’re on your date, you should give that person your attention – the person who asked, and the person who was asked. It’s just courtesy.

    As I said, I hear what you’re saying, but only up to a point. In today’s world, that level of devotion needs to be earned, by all parties. No one DESERVES that kind of attention up front, and like one of the fellows said earlier, if you give it without boundaries it’s a guarantee that people will take advantage of it. It is natural for people to walk on you if you allow it.

    Better is get to know someone and then take them out on a date that THEY would appreciate. Be polite, show courtesy, genuine interest in the person you are with and treat them respectfully, not just of them, but their time. If, or as it moves ahead, invest more of your time, yourself into the person.

    Some folks are just not appreciative quality, mistaking kindness and courtesy for weakness and stupidity. Make sure the person you’re with isn’t one of these before you start investing your time.

  29. Aisyah says:

    Reblogged this on AZ and commented:
    THIS. This guy got into a woman’s head. Mine.

  30. No sir says:

    This article was disgusting, how come women are “treasure” and “diamond” when men are just that, only men. That’s ridiculous.

  31. drum4los says:

    almost everything you said was completely Biblical!! Well said sir!

  32. aaliyah says:

    This article brought me to tears for an unexplainable reason I can’t put into words. Extremely well written! Disagreed with a few points but the fact remains in whatever era we live in, a real woman doesn’t look at how deep a man’s pockets are, and spoiling does not necessarily translate to having to burn a whole in your wallet. If you play close attention to her interests and put it to good use, it may not even involve forking out a cent at all and still having a brilliant date.

  33. Ashley says:

    Wow, there’s a lot of bitter men on here. I think as a woman it’s sad to hear men say chivalry is dead, then again I consider myself a classy woman that does respect a good man (real man), so when a man goes above and beyond what other men do, I always take notice. By the way, beautiful, successful, confident women, get attention all the time. If you don’t stand out and do what other guys won’t, you will not get far with quality women. If you will only do “average” things for a woman, you’ll only get “average” women.

    With that said tho, this is all good provided the woman you’re pursuing is a quality woman (just because she’s beautiful, doesn’t necessarily mean she’s quality). I think along with stepping up your game, you should recognize who is worth stepping up for and who isn’t.

  34. Lynn says:

    Men who disagree with you don’t deserve to be with good women. No pain, no gain. If you want a good woman and if she’s worth working for then no reason not to put in the effort required to get her. Loved this post and loved your writing style. ❤

  35. Truly says:

    For all the people saying this awesome article is outdated, have you considered that what he’s describing are values to be embodied and practiced – and that values are TIMELESS. They do not change regardless of the era. If a woman doesn’t respond well to what is described, guess what? She’s not a quality, loyal woman who shares these values – cultivate discernment! Make wise choices by getting to know someone well first. Overall this guy knows his stuff – he has awesome, timeless, chivalrous values. And that’s so rare today. I commend him.

  36. cole says:

    This is a nicely written article but it isn’t reality. The woman of today isn’t into a generally nice guy. She has to be attracted to something about him visually though his personality has to be on point, she has to feel he’s worth her time. This may be measured in financial appearance or some sort of character along that line. It’s all about finance, great looks.

  37. Victor ndombi says:

    Good and inspiring…

  38. ThatChicElle says:

    Now this got me thinking. Thank you Ebrahim, be blessed. I really needed this.

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