Why guys always SWITCH UP, after ACTING like he had POTENTIAL

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Warning signs are there in the beginning, but a Loyal Woman emotionally driven falls in love with a male’s potential based off the role he plays before drastically switching up. He has none. A guy is who he is when you meet him. Attract one already on your loyalty level.

A mentally ascended MAN can blow both your mind & your back out. But you keep ignoring warning signs & giving second chances to that lame “boy” hoping he will “change” into his “potential”? Oh.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody

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“Hold up,” the tallest woman in the room interjected, during a speaking event I did for an undergrad BSU women’s group. “So, you’re saying a man can’t change? That doesn’t make sense. Everyone can change, if they really want to. Why can’t guys change?”

“Think about it like this,” I replied. “Why would a guy magically change for you, when he has met dozens of women before you, some of whom he liked better than you, and yet, he never changed for them? Because we are who we are.

We are not caterpillars. There is no metamorphosis, unless a man is mentally mature & intrinsically ascended. In which case, he would have ALREADY made the change to be the man you want before you even met him. Thus, he wouldn’t need you to rely on his ‘potential’.

Ladies, stop ignoring warning signs when you first meet a guy, expecting us to have some drastic, MIGHTY MORPHIN change based off POTENTIAL. We are not Power Rangers. It will never be ‘morphin time’.

Either grow daily to know yourself more & learn how to attract a man who is ALREADY on your loyalty level, or take a hiatus pursuing relationships until you’ve developed enough discernment to see past the ‘he was good in the beginning’ ACT males put on.

Being a loyal woman does not mean being gullible. Dating someone and hoping they’ll change into what you envision for them is not potential. It is naive and weak-minded for a woman to expect a guy to change who he is for her, when she herself is unwilling to CHANGE her standards & chose a guy who is ALREADY the man she wants.

If you meet a man and he is not EXACTLY what you are looking for in every way, why the hell do you let him in? Don’t even give your number to a man who’s not all you want, hoping he will reach potential. Blind hope is so weak on a woman. It turns strong men completely off, to the point one will never approach you and it will only attract males who play a role.

“So help me understand why guys always switch up, after acting like he had potential?” she continued. “Y’all are always perfect in the beginning. Good morning texts, sweet words throughout the day. Funny, caring, just really cool, then out of nowhere it stops, why play with our hearts?”

“Because it works every time,” I replied. “Males are simple. They will portray a role in the beginning, acting out exactly what you TOLD him you want in a man, if you give him a role to play.

Talk less. Ask more. Grill his thespian ass with hard questions about his true intentions with you, until he breaks character, then yell cut. End scene.

At some point, we have to ask ourself the scary question, ‘Why do I keep offering my whole soul & heart to a selfish, hellish person whose impure spirit is nowhere on my loyalty level?’

A cute smile, muscular body, sweet words and ability to make you laugh is not potential. Caesar from Planet of the Apes possessed all that, and even he was loyal to his ape-bae.

Meanwhile, you’re giving your all to a mentally immature male with the romance level of an ape, expecting him to change into a man. Who’s more foolish, the fool who played a role or the fool who fell for it?

A woman should always listen to her intuition. Never give a role-playing guy a chance to prove your red flags right, then blame HIM for being who your intuition already told your ass he was.

Open your eyes. Why wait until a disastrous break-up from a poisonous relationship to reflect on warning signs you should have seen from the start?

Staying with a male after red flags appear, hoping he will reach some potential he doesn’t even have, hoping he will ne the one, because you’re tired of staring over and over again is loyalty, its selfish stupidity.

We choose to see what we want, because we want that person to be everything we deserve, instead of respecting them for the whack ass person they are, then choosing someone who ALREADY meets our realistic standards.

Nothing like dating someone who can switch up their style often. Hair & outfit game have you feeling like you’re dating a new, same person every week. But if they constantly switch up their consistency level, it proves they’re an actor. End the drama. Yell cut on their inconsistent ass.

Make a man prove he is who he says he is. Stop being so weak & obvious with your feelings for him, until he’s consistently proven over time to be deserving.”

“Ok, Ebrahim can I ask you a question,” a fun-sized, French woman asked. “I’ve been with this guy for six months & I still don’t know if I’m single or not. I know he has cut off his ex, because he moved out of their place a month ago, to come live with me.

He’s really good with my kids, but all he does is lift weights at the gym all day and play Xbox all night. Then, when I need a foot rub, a back message, or more than 5-minutes of sex, he has no energy left. I don’t know what to do. He is really smart, charismatic and has a lot of potential, he’s just not applying himself. How do you ask a guy ‘what are we’ and ‘where is this going’ and actually get a damn answer?”

“Yes, you are single,” I responded. “A male living in your house rent free & commitment free is NOT a relationship. That’s adoption.

Ladies, if your ‘man’ has never sat you down & told you his vision of where he sees you two going, his ambitions, dreams, career plan, what he wants out of life & why he wants YOU in his, you’re dating a boy. You a single mother.

If he has never said, ‘I would like to make you my one and only, and commit to only you’ or said, ‘I feel you complete me. Your mind intrigues me. Your goofy ass humors me. Your inner queen compliments my inner king. I would like to court you to see if you and I are tailor made for forever.’ He ain’t real. You are one of a dozen. Get out. Free yourself. Prison break!

A mentally ascended man can bring home the bacon, cook it for dinner & trEAT you like dessert, but you’re staying loyal to a jobless man, living in your house, eating up all your kids’ lunchables, hoping he will reach his ‘potential’? Oh.”

“Not the lunchables tho, I can’t,” one woman replied, laughing hysterically.

“It’s not like he’s some bum on the street,” the bite-sized-Snicker-heighted woman responded, defending her poor excuse for a man. “He’s trying. When I tell him to look for a job, he complains no one wants to hire a man with a felony on his record.”

“Making excuses for why a male slacks giving you the attention, romance, consistency, reassurance & commitment you deserve is so cowardly of you. Where is your strength as a woman. What happened to that strong woman you used to be? Remove the desire of dick from you pineal gland & hold these men to a higher standard. You are smarter than this, remember?” I encouraged.

No disrespect, I have all the love in the world for you queen, but this is how a man speaks, with no sugar-coating. If a male tells you only what you want to hear, and the only time he speaks his mind is when he is defensively calling you out your name after you don’t acquiesce to his demands, that is the biggest red flag of all.

Women will send back her plate at Chipotle if they forgot the salsa, meanwhile you’re being served a plate of lies by a male who lied about still living with his ex, lied about where he works, & he’s still in your life because he has potential? How many red flags do you need

A woman’s so loyal to a male’s potential, but what about yours? What happened to all your dreams, goals & aspirations you had before you met this guy. You used to be so smart, so on point, so confident, but you met a guy with potential and he sucked away all yours?

You love hard, but if your relationship becomes a distraction from what you always wanted to be, it was never a blessing. The enemy sent you that curse as a distraction to pull you away from growing closer to your purpose.

All the red flags can be there, yet a girl will look past what she sees, hoping this guy can fit into the vision of her ideal man in her mind. This is not potential. This is projection.

You are being a weak-minded projector, projecting your wants onto a male who never had what it takes to live up to it. Instead of having projections of potential, have standards so high, only the exact man of your dreams with the highest loyalty level can ever reach them.”

As men we have to do much better. Women are starting to think they HAVE to settle for a guy not on her level, just because she feels he has potential, because we are making these women think chivalry is dead. Well it is not.

Guys, CALL her tonight. Say, “Your conversation is as pretty as your voice. I’m taking you out on a date this friday, what time works for you?” The new ‪Denzel‬ movie is out. ‪‎Erykah Badu‬ is touring. Fresh pasta is her weakness. There’s no reason SHE should have to drop hints. ‪Court her.

A woman should never not know if she’s single. Here’s some simple math for you.
Her Time + her feelings = her LOYALTY. Now, if commitment is no where in the equation, say so. Don’t have her second guessing if she’s a factor, because your inconsistent actions don’t “add up”.

She can tell within the first 5 minutes of meeting a man, if she’d date him, lay with him or consider marrying him. Please don’t waste her time with your inconsistency & mind games, showing interest then going ghost.

She sees everything. Don’t take her presence for blindness. A woman can still be with you, yet mentally be somewhere else. She’s planning her moves. She’s not switching up, she just sees all the red flags, lies & empty promises & refuses to entertain it.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody

Facebook.com/AEAseem
IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
Instagram.com/Fuel4TheBODY
Twitter.com/EbrahimAseem

Special thanks to the amazing artist and model in the memes for this piece. For more of her work, please visit: http://www.hussleinstyle.blogspot.com/

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About Ebrahim Aseem

I am a chef, writer & motivational speaker. I've been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years & I'm currently shopping my first book, "Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women"
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6 Responses to Why guys always SWITCH UP, after ACTING like he had POTENTIAL

  1. Tonya says:

    Absolutely stunning article. I am immediately putting this into practice. Game over…

    Be blessed,
    Tonya

  2. nnggii3 says:

    This is an awesome article. I needed this because I am a college student currently talking to a guy, that has lots of qualities that I desire, EXCEPT the having goals part. He says that he has goals, but he doesn’t have a plan to help him get there. He doesn’t do anything else with his dream, or doesn’t make any other effort to help him stand out except his academics, basketball, and video games.

    If that’s the case, where are some good locations to find a higher percentage of ambitious guys? It seems like a lot of guys don’t really have so much ambition and drive anymore.It’s so difficult to meet a guy that’s actually applying himself,so it’s kind of making me lose faith.

  3. Sonika says:

    Absolutely true but my situation is different or maybe it’s not. Do u do personal advice or one one counseling?

  4. jolly says:

    Excellent article! May this wisdom resonate through the minds and relationship practices of women everywhere! Thank you!!!

  5. Lori says:

    Thank you for this message. Please continue to support us females through messages on the importance of selecting healthy relationships with males. You are giving us much knowledge, and I believe “knowledge is power”. May God continue to bless you!

  6. Denise says:

    Wow. Thanks for writing this, I’m currently going through a divorce and this sums everything up. Its tough and I love him dearly but I’ve been staying with him and just looking at his potential and not who he really is. I don’t have the time for him to grow into the loving and faithful man I need him to be. This just verbalizes that I no longer need to sign up to take on anymore special projects…..any man wanting to get with me in the future is going to have to already know what he wants and if its not the same thing I want….he can keep it moving. Thanks again.

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