If he really cared about you, he’d CALL you, come see you or take you out on a date. Men are simple, really.
When a man really likes a woman, he will move mountains to make time for her. He enjoys calling; hearing her voice. Massaging the tip of her eardrums with the vibration of his conversing. He cares enough to contact her consistently. Not 24/7 all damn day. Clinginess is a red flag.
Consistent enough so she never feels she’s going through things alone. Being her calm, her peace. Making her laugh & smile so hard, with words so sweet. With a vibe so deep, the conversing never ceases.
Texts do NOT count. Contact is sensory stimulation. His pineal glad should touch your frontal cortex through sound & vibration.
He texts everyone. He calls the woman he sees a future with. If he isn’t making effort, he simply does not like you. Accept it & move on, but never be a man’s fool.
By: Ebrahim Aseem
“Wait, so guys don’t play hard to get to test you?” A brown-haired beauty asked, during a life speak I did for eight dozen twenty-somethings.
“Test you for what? I retorted. “Any male who’d test a woman isn’t a strong MAN you’d want anyway. Tests & tricks are for kids. A mentally mature man is straight forward. Why in heaven would he test you? Love is not SAT, it’s R-E-A-L.
When a man doesn’t make time for you, he’s NOT playing hard to get or testing you. He’s too busy spending time with the woman he REALLY likes.
I’m not gonna lie, when a woman acts spoiled when she can’t spend time with you, it’s the most attractive thing. Makes me want to cancel plans for you & let my spoil adorn you.
The “my spoiled ass is disappointed babe” face👉😒 works on me. Poke that lip out. If I love you, I have a strong desire to improve how you feel with my spoilage.
Unless it’s regarding work or family,
‘I’m too busy’ really means,
‘I’m too busy tryna spoil the woman I really like, so I’ll text you when I’m bored & horny.”
“Why do guys act like they’re interested, then just stop texting you out of nowhere?” A blonde asked.
“If he used to text you all day and night, then all of a sudden he just stops; he’s not ‘being a stranger’. He just doesn’t like you. Get over yourself.
Don’t spend all night staying up, over-thinking about someone who hasn’t thought of you once all day, or called you good night. Never let a man upset you to the point you go to sleep mad or sad. Simply let go,” I asserted.
“I’m so uninterested in investing my time, romantic efforts & strong feelings into someone, unless I have long-term intentions. When I love, I love completely, with all of me, but my heart only pumps loyal blood for someone who wants for-ever, not just for-one-night.
I don’t want to date anyone that I can’t one day build a future with. I want children. I want marriage. I want loyalty. I want for life. If you feel the same way, only make room in your life for the ones who want only you in there’s.
Once you see a man is not feeling you, move the hell on. Please don’t try even harder, complain to us or stay thinking about us, it will only make you look weak, repel strong men & destroy your self-confidence.
“I just hate the fact that if I don’t start the conversation with a guy, there won’t be one,” one women complained.
“If you always have to hit him first, he’s trying to tell you how uninterested he is in you. Listen. Sometimes getting no message from a person is the real message they are sending queen,” I answered.
“So what does it mean when a guy makes an effort to get my attention. Then when I let down my wall, give him a chance & text him, he doesn’t text back. He’s not playing hard to get?” She continued.
“You know what it means when your text goes unread, while he’s liking pics in bunches on Instagram? He doesn’t care about you the way you care about him. Stop making excuses for him,” I responded.
A guy will ignore a woman, & she’ll make excuses, like:
His phone died.
He has bad phone service where he lives.
His phone screen cracked.
He got shampoo in his eyes in the shower & is temporarily blind.
He got hit by a car, rushed to the hospital & is currently in a coma.
No. He just doesn’t like you. Why are you acting so desperate for dick? You’re so quick to cut anyone else off over the littlest thing. Meanwhile, you’re give multiple chances & excuses to a male who keeps ignoring your whole existence?
Is the dick that good? Are you that weak? Is he that much of your god? Please stop making us men your god.
Don’t lose your soul at the hopes of securing a tall, handsomely bearded guy, to make you finally happy with life. His love won’t make you love yourself, it will only briefly take your mind off the fact you don’t.
“I just don’t get how one minute you guys can be inside of us, giving us the greatest feeling, as if we mean something to you, & the next day we can’t even get a text back.” The brown-haired girl complained, before she started to break down and cry. Why does our loyalty go unappreciated? I just want something real. For once, you know?”
“I know you’re tired of wanting something real & always getting the worst, but don’t forget to fall in love with that beauty in the mirror first,” I answered. She smiled. I felt guilty as a man, because we have no idea how sick we make these genuine women with our selfishness.
“Women confuse amazing sex with affection. You actually think it means something to us, so you accept empty text messages & justify being ignored.
Our generation mistakes ‘being foolish’ for ‘being loyal’. He’s got your ‘loyal’ ass out here looking stupid by starving you of reassurance & attention. You staying with him & making excuses for his lack of romance is not loyalty, its weakness.
A weak woman will emotionally make excuses for why a male isn’t giving her commitment & attention. A woman loyal to her own integrity has enough strength to cut his sorry ass off.
In the 10 years I’ve been speaking life into young men as a youth mentor, I constantly tell them:
She’s romantic, not hopeless. She can love you & really not care to ever see you again at all. Stop taking her for granted. Adore her madly.
Lack of interest turns her off. Don’t waste her time. If you’re out here ignoring her & making her look stupid, don’t be surprised to find, your residence in her mind declined.
The prettiest spirited women really be lonely af at night, staring at their phone waiting for it to ring. Call her tonight. Say, “Your vibe is gorgeous. Your conversation is as pretty as your voice. I’m taking you out on a date this friday for dinner live music and deep conversing. What time works for you?”
Don’t just brush off her texts & her showing she cares. You don’t know how hard it is to show her feelings, when it has always been taken for granted.
If she stops caring, you lost her. The ONLY reason she doesn’t do you the cold way you do her is, because it is way out of her character.
Sometimes a strong woman feels stressed, frustrated, sad or alone & a simple call or text from you can take her stress away & make her day.
When a woman says, ‘I really miss you’ she’s really saying,
‘There will never be a day I wake up & want you out my life. Don’t make me regret showing my true feelings. Don’t make me feel crazy for giving you the chance I’ve given so many men who couldn’t come through.’
That deep thinking woman needs to be PUT to sleep. Her mind keeps replaying scenarios & What-IFs. She feels her life is at a breaking point. It’s hell, really. Call her right now king. Show her how much you do care. Mentally, lift her up w/ reassurance, carry her thoughts with your understanding heart & put her along with all her worrying concerns to bed.”
I go more in depth about this & other topics in my upcoming book, “Why All Men Cheat On Loyal Women”.
By: Ebrahim Aseem
I love this. I’ve been here in this very place these women speak out from. When I started actively dating this past few months, I was so disheartened to see that things hadn’t changed so much between men and women. It’s not an easy truth to hear, but it’s one that needs to be heard. Thank you for sharing.
You really nailed what I talk to my girlfriend’s about. You said everything i wish they would say. I hate hearing do what makes you happy. He makes me happy but its obvious i dont make him happy. Thank you for opening my eyes and seeing the big picture.
I love this. Even though my boyfriend currently does some of these things, like calling me, I wish he could do a lot more, but yes, he’s working a ton putting in overtime and we stay 45 minutes away from each other and we’re both stressed out because we’re trying to keep our heads above water with all of these finances we have to take care of. But this explains past relations and how stupid I was to give myself to guys who didn’t care a lick about me, only just cared to…lick me. Easiest way to put it, right?
this is goooood.
“Please stop making us men your god” – that statement is deep, yet true. Ebrahim, thank you for this post!
This is so true. How can men pretend so well to love us one minute and completely forget about us the next? Where do this “love” go, and why do they work so hard to trick us into caring for them only to leave us alone, agonized, and wondering if we will ever meet a man that truly cares and means what he says. I know I’ve not met one man who meant what he said in 21 years of dating. I wish I didn’t have a heart.
Don’t confuse “caring for someone you’re attracted to” as “having a heart” queen.
Having a heart is how you treat your nana, children, lil nieces & nephews, your pet, love for food, animals, your chakras, your pineal gland, the law of attraction, how you love nature, how you love humanity, men & women. That’s having a heart. Never let a person you’re sexually attracted to make you wish you didn’t have a heart, didn’t care so much, because the love of a male is not the only use for a heart. A real man will shower you with so much unconditional care, adornment, understanding & reassurance, you will question if nothing else exists in this universe, except for love.
This is exactly how I am feeling right now I have been going threw the worst I call my boyfriend to let so stress off my chest and for him to get my mind off of everything that goes on. And it just seems like he doesn’t have any time for me anymore. Lastnight I wanted to hear his voice before going to sleep no answer no text back that just left me feeling alone, sad and mad at the same time. So out of anger I blocked his calls and turned my phone off my phone has been off since yesterday. He just makes me feel like his friends are more important than me. We have been together a little over 4 years and I’m starting to fall out of love. His selfishness makes me sick and makes me feel like I’m asking to much he makes me feel like I can not ask him for anything. He trys to make me feel guilty about me always wanting to talk to him or help me out with something like I’m currently out of a job because I moved and I asked him if he could help me with my phone bill until I find a new job and he always starts with I have to pay for a lot of things I’ll see every single time . he has no bills to pay what so ever he gives his mother 30 here and there but nothing major I mean its been rough for me And all I ask is for little support. I have been the one working and helping him out you would think he would want to help the one he loves but he is just to caught up in looking good and buying unessecary crap. Feel’s good to let off some steam
Truth hurts, but it will also set you free. Keep speaking it 🙂
Not easy to hear, but it was worth it!
You have given me so much strength to believe that my current situation is a horrible one. You have also given me the strength of hope. That one day I will love myself fully and believe that I can have the Love I desire. Thank you. I am crying wiring this because it is so painful for me to subconsciously and visually see and now believe that I am a weak woman/female. I have used every excuse to the mental Compassity to hold to someone I would settle for because of my weakness. I will grow strong no matter how long it takes. So thank you again, for just being yourself and for speaking your wise word. You deserve such a queen so elegant, she’ll shine brighter than the sun.
I love a bit of tough love, and this hits the nail on the head. The honesty of this post is so raw, I think I’m verbally attracted to you haha. Keep up the great work!