Do you miss her? The woman you were before he made you lose yourSELF. 10 steps to get HER back…


Women get so wrapped up in a man, when it’s all over she doesn’t even have her SELF love to go back to.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women”

Don’t you miss her? The woman you were before him?

Here is 10 steps how you can get her back.

#1 Stop giving HER the silent treatment.

Go look in the mirror, & stare HER in the eyes so she can tag back in to your soul. She is the mother of your spirit. She misses you so bad.

#2 Stop giving life to thoughts of taking HIM back.

The most powerless thing a woman could do is let an inconsistent man have the power of knowing she’ll always be there, waiting for him.

#3 Be upfront with your SELF about why you ALLOWED such poor treatment in a relationship for so long

You used to be so confident, so smart, so able to see through people’s bullshit. Why’d you let that one person steal your ESSENCE from you?

Don’t say, ‘they switched-up’. We all switch up. We hide our flaws and demons to be appealing. You did it too. Instead, focus on what you wanted to gain from allowing someone to hurt you.

#4 Acknowledge your limited role in the pain your EX caused you

Realize how selfish you were. You stayed with a disrespectful person you KNEW was no where near deserving of you, because you couldn’t live without their presence. How selfish.

They wanted to leave. They tried to cheat, be selfish, yell and hurt you to force their way out. Your forced your love onto them. Come to grips with this. Then realize you are NOT this selfish new girl. You are ‘HER’, the real you, remember? Get her back.

#5 Write a letter to your EX who is still in your heart.

But do NOT send it to him. This is for YOU. This is your closure. Start your letter with the following opening:

“Dear poison,

You’re always in my late night thoughts, messing up my feelings.
You know this & clearly take advantage of it, ruling over my mind with your misvalue of me.
Please stop being my god, making me more dependent on your love than I am my own.”

Who hurt you so much that you started to second guess yourself at every turn?

Was it mommy who wasn’t nurturing enough? Was it your abandoning papa who wasn’t there, never cared and put his step children over you?
Was it your cousins, uncles & aunts who exploited you, disrespected you and used you?
Was your sibling always jealous & secretly rooting against you?
Identify the source of your second guessing and abandonment issues

#6 Cut off your side hoes & blow up your friend zone.

Having “side hoes” or a “team” is so childish. Sure, it will help you transition from a break-up, but will suicidally hurt that much more when it’s over.

A friend zone is for girls with low self-confidence. A friend is not some unattractive guy who has a crush on you who you befriend as a consolation prize.

Friend is a title only for one who is the person you want to grow to be. A friend reciprocates the wisdom, peace, light & respect you exude in every way.

Besides, your friend zone is the reason the men you want never text you back. They see you’re more concerned about being the popular girl every guy wants, than being the engaged woman every girl wants to be.

#7 State your intent to the universe.

Create your vision board/checklist of all the non-physical things you want and need in a soul mate. This is your blueprint. Speak your intent to the universe, and it will yield unto you your thoughts into fruition.

#8 If you want to be appealing to a man, get beautiful and FAST!

Beauty is intangible. Beauty is the reflection the soul projects on the mirror that is one’s eyes.

It is impossible for a “body” or tangible form of matter to be beauty. Matter has hue, yet no substance. Matter is glass, the liquid substance INSIDE it is the beauty that shines through.

Thus, one is simply beautiful in spirit, shined through their physical form, regardless how that form looks.

#9 Discover your passions

As fine as you are, if you’re not passionate about something, you will not hold the attraction of someone with a beautiful vibe.

What happened to all your dreams, goals, creative passions & aspirations you had before you met this guy.

You used to be so smart, so on point, so confident, but you met a guy with potential & he sucked away all yours?

You love hard, but if your relationship becomes a distraction from what you always wanted to be, it was never a blessing. The enemy sent you that curse as a distraction to pull you away from growing closer to your purpose to save souls with your walk, your life, your life.

#10 Stop choosing guys with your eyes. You need a strong, confident, successful MAN, who’s as romantic as you & will speak life into you. Just like this:

‘Sweetheart, when I tell you to do something for you, I expect you to obey & listen, with no hesitation.

I want you to stop second guessing yourself.
Stop telling yourself you’re dumb & stupid every time you make mistakes.
Make no mistake, you are perfectly imperfect in my eyes.
I despise how hard you are on yourself.
When you show yourself love, it just makes me want to reward you, that mind & that breathtaking body of yours so good, mmm you just don’t know.’

Let go of this false idea guys don’t have feelings or want romance, thus you must settle for the one who sucks the least.

I hate the world makes men feel we have to be “hard” all the time & “act” like we don’t love ROMANCE & MONOGAMY, when we CRAVE it constantly.

Guys are so afraid to appear corny & soft to other men yet lowkey women like corny affection, surprise flowers & chocolate, GN calls & breakfast in bed.

So, if he’d rather play NBA2k than text you back, & you’re still planning a future with him, you need to ask yourself, why am I being a weak woman fighting so hard for man who’s more interested in sitting in a room, playing video games with a bunch of women-neglecting males than me? Then text him and ask him if he’s on the downlow.

I played football & hoops all through school. I loved Madden & 2k as a lil boy, but as soon as I realized I could be working a woman’s joystick to control HER instead of an xbox controller, I retired my 2k playing.

Like, can we as men stop acting like playing NBA2k for 6 damn hours straight is more important than taking a woman out on a date or texting her back?

If you’d rather play with your Xbox controller for hours than play with your woman’s joystick for hours & controlHER, I’m convinced you on the DL.

Queens, I promise you, your soul mate is out there. I know, because I been out here for ten years, speaking life into young men as a youth mentor, I tell them:

‘She’s not playing mind games. She’s so guarded, because everyday of life she’s subjected to pain. Giving half of her self is really ALL she can give, until you offer her what she’s never been given, UNDERSTANDING w/o judging.

That woman who seems, guarded, over-emotional & selfish has a story
If you only knew she holds back trust, because she’s suffered tremendous damage.

She will be difficult & sarcastic to you because she likes you & showing her true emotions has always been taken for granted & scared guys off. Don’t hold her flaws against her.

Don’t hold her guarded, abandonment and trust issues against her. Hold your strong body against her. Hold your heart against hears, until your heart beats become one.

Unfollow all your InstaCrushes. Women fight feeling less-than constantly. In school, family, work and relationships. Don’t ever make her feel she has to compete for attention with other women.

Tell her, ‘You don’t have to be physically perfect to attract me.
Your caring, affectionate, loving, passionate, romantic self makes me wanna adore you’.

A woman cares so deep, about everything. She will do any thing for you. It makes her feel so sick no one ever cares for her the same.

It’s frustrating when all one of your homies wants to talk about is, “bruh let me tell you about this big booty bitch I smashed last night” or “if a female ain’t making no money for me, I cut her loose.”

If all you have to converse about as a man is yourdickgame, video games, sports & getting money from a woman, I can’t respect you bruh. You lack mental maturity. Have something more substantial to talk about. You are more than your dick.

How about talking less about your 5-minute sex life & more about parenthood. You have 4 children by 4 different women, yet you never discuss your children in any conversation or bring them to a BBQ.

It’s sad when two men can’t have a deep uplifted conversation about some real spit, because all ignorant, self-proclaimed-niggas want to talk about is sex, sports and dirty money.

Step your mind up bro. No Woman is attracted to a mentality immature man.

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women”
IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
Motivational #SpeakLife vidoes:

I am a chef, motivational speaker, nutritionist and author, of West African ancestry. I speak isiZulu & Swahili I’ve been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years.
Book me to speak at your unversity! Currently doing a college speaking tour on this & many topics.
For booking:

Request your free copy of my book once you follow me on facebook =>

About Ebrahim Aseem

I am a chef, writer & motivational speaker. I've been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years & I'm currently shopping my first book, "Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women"
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1 Response to Do you miss her? The woman you were before he made you lose yourSELF. 10 steps to get HER back…

  1. Latoyia Smith says:

    Ebrahim you are truly an inspiring young man. I appreciate your outlook on women and relationships. You really LISTEN and OBSERVE well! You have helped me in so many ways,you don’t even know….THANKYOU I APPRECIATE YOU!!๐Ÿ˜Š

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