I’m so tired of these mixed, biracial & lie-racial women having the audacity to be labeled by others as “half Black” Ha! Y’all wish. Who are you to define another person?
And when I took a mixed girl out on a first date, I told her just that. I met her at my niece’s dance recital. Coming off a break-up, not looking for a rebound. She was 6’1 in flats, tall-ass looking like a pretty giraffe grazing the savanna. I didn’t know whether to box her tall ass out for the rebound or ask her number. I did the latter. Her ass was fatter. Not that it matters. The most attractive thing about a woman is not a fat ass, pretty face, thick curves or slim waist. It is her resilient ability to get back up after falling, & push forward.
Not to be forward, but I asked her name, then her number. No need for game. I was enamored, not by her curvy frame. But by the pictures she allowed the brush of my intellect to paint on her canvas brain via her poetic mind. Drawn deeper the abstract thoughts she painted on mine. She was an artist. And they’re sensitive about their shit.
By: Ebrahim Aseem
Two weeks later was our first date. I planned the events. Dinner at a Haitian-fusion restaurant, Manje Ayisien, before the concert, Janelle Monáe accompanied by a live Orchestra. I orchestrated hand-holding & arm-wrapping around her waist, but before we could give our Poulet Aux Noix ak bannann peze a taste, the controversial topic of race, came charging out her mouth, slapping me in the face.
“I just love your freckles!” my date complimented.
“Thank you sweetheart,” I smiled, “my niece you saw when we first met always says my face looks like an overly ripe banana.”
“No way,” she laughed, “they’re adorable. oh my God, I used to want freckles so bad when I was growing up. I’d try to draw them on my face with mascara. So, what are you?”
“I’m Black,” I answered, assuming she was referring to my race.
“Really? Are you sure?” She asked, wearing a confused look.
“Well, both my parents are Black and all four of my grandparents are Black too,” I answered. “However, I’m blessed to have been raised in a culture where we learn our true West-African hebrew ancestry. It’s so dope. I get to teach the youngins our langauge every sabbath.”
“That’s so cool you know your culture!” my date affirmed. “I wish I knew mine. I’m just mixed, but my daughter’s father is Black, so I’m always looking to get her into things that help embrace her Black culture too.
“Aren’t you Black?” I asked her.
“I’m only half Black, I’m a mixed girl, remember I told you? Honey you gotta listen,” she joked with a wink. “My mother is from the Dominican Republic and she’s half Greek. My dad is from Haiti and he’s Wolof, with Senegal ancestry. I like how you use the word ancestry, it’s so articulate.”
“Thank you queen,” I said with a slight smile, “but,
mixed people with a Black parent are NOT “half-Black”. They are Black. Fully. Period. By that I only mean, you have just as much right to embrace 100% of every Black culture or white culture you spring from, just as much as someone of your culture who is not mixed. Just because you spring from more than one ancestry, doesn’t make you half off it, half-Black or a fraction White. If you are biracial you are NOT half & half. You are WHOLE & WHOLE. One spirit wrapped in human clothes. The color of a diamond’s wrapping or packaging does not define its worth. You are a diamond spirit.
Your melanin makes you Black but Black is NOT a race, it is a color & a culture-substitute when you don’t know the specific country in the motherland your ancestors came from. #EbrahimAseem Any one who has African blood in them is “Black” only because the first human on earth came from a Black woman’s womb. This is the origin gene.
You don’t have to say you’re full Black, nor pick sides or choose one race to identify. No. Embrace all of you. Every racial ingredient. You are white and black, and blended, and whole, and enough. Just innerstand you partake in a regal ancestry & nucleus all life springs from. Melanin.
Black is a culture-substitute. Nigerian, Jamacian, Ethiopean, etc. are races & ancestries. White is a culture-substitute. French, Italian, German, etc. are races & ancestries. Know your ancestry. Define yourself. Embrace 100% of your cultures with 100% of you, not half of you.
“I needed to hear someone who’s Black tell me that,” my date confessed. “Ever since I was a little girl I was teased. Raised by a D.R. mother who identified as “White”. She didn’t know how to do my curly hair and I was always teased for being different. I was always told I was too light. Not Black enough for the Blacks. Not White enough for the Whites. My daughter is considered “too White” for her father’s family. I just don’t want my daughter to grow up feeling like she doesn’t belong the way I felt.”
“She won’t,” I reassured her. “she has you to teach her the color of her skin does not define her. Thank you for embracing all sides of your ancestry. Never slight any piece that makes up the beautiful work of art you are. #EbrahimAseem If you’re biracial. Own it. Just know you define you, not anyone else. Don’t be afraid to proclaim your own self identity. You don’t have to choose a side. Choose your spirit over your physical form.
Your race or gender does not define you. You define you. You are not a race. You are a spirit wrapped in a box. Who cares what color the box? The treasure inside counts most. Value spirit over body. You don’t have to divide yourself up to fit a category or mold. You are not in a universe, you are a universe. #EbrahimAseem No matter the matter that makes up the beautiful soul you are, you define you, no one else.
Black is not a country. Black is a culture. You can be “half Nigerian” or “Half German” as both are countries, but you can’t be half a culture. You are 100% of ALL your cultures. Embrace each one of your cultures with 100% self love. #EbrahimAseem
All those with melanin & African ancestry share the Black culture. No one has a monopoly on Black culture just, because they’re darker, lighter, or more “hood”.
You’re called Black, because they don’t want you to know The Moors, who conquored Rome, are your ancestors. The Queens & Kings who ruled Kmt. before he was renamed “Eygpt”, are your ancestors. The Olmec who ruled in the Americas centuries before Christopher Columbus ever steped foot there, are your ancestors. #EbrahimAseem The spiritually ascended, divinely favored Hebrews are your ancestors. They ruled the motherland before it was renamed after a Roman General Scorpio Africanus, who massacred women, men & children in Cartigage, for having Melanin. You can label a beautiful flower Black, but it will still grow from concrete, though it’s called by another name, it is still just as sweet.
We ate our Haitian cuisine, snapped a picture of us hugged up together and made our way to the concert. I posted the picture of us on my Facebook, with the caption,
“Men, let’s start taking these loyal women OUT on a planned, paid for date, not just into your bed for sex & Netflix. What makes us a MAN isn’t giving our attention the 100s of pretty girls we see, or to InstaModels in our DM. No, it’s giving ALL of our attention to that sweet, caring, intelligent woman once she shows she DESERVES it. #EbrahimAseem
Being a single man does not mean sleep with every girl in your phone. Let’s kill that double standard. I am abstinent while single, because my mother raised a king, not a hoe. Let’s stop using “talking” as an excuse to sleep with every girl on Instagram. #EbrahimAseem
Do not “talk” to a loyal woman. Talking is for teens. It goes, Date her. Court her. Commit to her. Propose to her. Kings, take the virtuous woman who has a crush on you out this week! It is NOT “trickin” & you’re not “buying” her time. No. You are showing her you’re WORTH her time & not wasting it. #EbrahimAseem “
Just five minutes after posting the picture, there were 50+ comments. Mostly race related.
Black doesn’t mean “dark”, it means, “child of melanin who exudes light.” – Ebrahim Aseem Darkness is the most powerful, feared light. We are the light of this world. Most emulated. Never duplicated. Out of eternal Blackness, let there be light.
Dominicans are Black. Conquerors from Spain force feed the African slave their Spanish language. Haitians are Black. Conquerors from France force feed the African slaves their French language. The Dominican Republic government has historic racism & xenophobia towards darker-skinned Haitians, whom they create laws to deport, despite the fact both Dominicans’ & Haitians’ ancestors descend from Africa.”
Race, transrace, gender, transgender & religion fueled events are being orchestrated to distract our mental ascension & attention against the current attack against all American civilians’ minds. They want us to be their drones. Wake up. Work 9-5. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. That’s not living. They give us money and steal our time. Time we could spend elevating our mind. Realize you are one of a kind. No race is better than another one. Because there is none greater than the spirit you are under the sun. #EbrahimAseem
Race is a label created by man to divide us, so we won’t see all our similarities of the spirits inside us. Your ancestry is the history of your culture. Like Italian food. French decor. West African Art. European folklore. Yet, that is only the history of our genes. By all means, we are not our physical form. We are the spirit wrapped inside, like a treasure gift wrapped inside a box. Treasure your self. Know your worth. Do not appraise the value of another. Exude light, peace & love.
By: Ebrahim Aseem
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women”
Facebook.com/AEAseem
IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
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These poetic lyrics are from Ebrahim Aseem’s newest single “Shea Butter”. Click above to hear or download FREE.
I’m a chef, writer & singer. I post new articles & recipes every thursday.
I’ve been a youth mentor for young men for 10 years, teaching them how to uplift & respect women & be men of confidence & valor. I make songs uplifting women. I speak isiZulu & English. I do motivational speaks at universities & private corporations worldwide. I am omw to do a motivational speak to a group of teen mother rape survivors at a wayward house.
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Real News 
Shea Butter is super dope!!!! Wonderful idea…And I learned A few things about Moors…thank you.
Here I sit. Tears streaming down my face. Man among boys and men, how did I arrive at this place? “This place??”, you ask. “This page!”, I exclaim! Never making your acquaintance still you are brother just the same. The words you extol… Gilead balm for my hurting soul. Thank you for touching upon many things. Thank you for the uplifting that knowledge of the true self brings!
Word. How can a whole person be half anything! Just more mind control. Black is black.
One more comment about race and intra-racial discrimination. Just read up on the history of the island of Hispaniola that is split into 2 countries Haiti and the Dominican Republic with the Haitians being mostly dark and of African/French/Native descent and many of the Dominicans being mixed but of African/Spanish/Native descent. Then look at what is currently happening there. It’s a very good example of racism on an island with an artificial boundary.
Love this read.. Appreciate all the responses and I even received better #innerstanding myself from this mind opening dialogue..
Yes. Well written, I totally agree with this. I am a melting pot with a Puertrican father and a Jamaican mother who her self is comes from a melting pot of ancestry. This is beautiful.
Blessings…. All beautiful words
just be yourself at All times. people should be judge by their content and not their body containers. great post.
i just want to say thank you! This was not only an educational piece to read it was motivational. I read this entire piece from beginning to end and im encouraged. I often tell people life is short you will have negatives but learn how to change them into positives then you learn to live and live in the fullness. Encouragement is good for the soul there are still Kings and Queens in the world prayer and guidance will lead you to the right person not when you expect it but in due time, never stop or give up just keep the faith and don’t compromise! The true test of life is the willingness to LEARN! Knowledge is essential in every aspect of learning and living!
As a father of children with two distinct ancestories I have made it an imperative to help them embrace thier cultures. Never to choose a side for convenience, to be proud of everything they our. To combat the ignorance of people trying to figure them out they have called themselves “Afro-Latino” and are quick to educate anyone who tries to come at them sideways. The deal is as a parent I found it my moral responsibility to arm them with knowledge, to educate myself on aspects of thier culture that I did not know and to raise them to be proud of thier uniqueness.
Thanks young Man…I may not agree with everything you’ve said..but you have given our young men a diagram for monolog…
My apologies this is well written article my response was based off someone who shared this article but made it seem a whole different way my apologies great article
Yes accept who you are not how people percieve you maybe. I am fair skined person with mixed heritage. Mum who is English Dad who is Nigerian. I stand out on both sides. So what the heck. Being bieracial can have its difficties too. Thank you for acceptance
What a beautiful article very well composed. I just want to thank you for sharing your date experience and your thoughts and facts with us. If only everyone could read your article all at once so we could all be on the same page. But unfortunately it seems like some of us are reading different books at different paces. One more thing I would like to say in regards to the “Jamila” comment about Latinos or Hispanics not dating outside of their race. Its unfortunate she is in an area where she has not experienced or witnessed Latinos or Hispanics date outside of their race. As a Southern Hispanic Chicano woman who has dated outside of her race, I can say we Do date outside our race. Its only that some portions of each race has their belief of only their culture and race strongly imprinted in their mind that they cant see beyond shades color. I’ve dated Asian, Black, White, Latino, black/white, latino/white men, my niece is white/Hispanic and my nephew is black/hispanic. My husband is latino, his family is considered Caribbean with Jamaican influences, German, Asian, Minneonite settlers in their country. The color of their skin varies like the shades of blue reflected in the sky, a mix of Caribbean and latino cooking, and a dialect as their primary language, American – English, and spanish as their secondary language. The music of Bob Marley is always accompanied by good times with friends and family of all colors. Thank you again
Reblogged this on booksagainstthecurrent and commented:
Beautiful, just beautiful 🙂
I love this because my children are biracial and I (the white mother) have been asked a few times if it wouldn’t just be easier to say they are white when asked their race on official forms. Why yes, it would be easier but who am I (or more to the point who are YOU) to take away a piece of my children’s identity? Who are you to decide that because “they can pass” that they should not identify themselves as young, black, females? It makes me crazy when it happens. They should have the right to embrace the whole of who they are and not have to apologize, identify, or explain any piece of them to anyone.
Amazing
I disagree with the person who said “Hispanics” “Latins” do not date out of their culture… I am an American of Mexican decent… And I am married to an American of German descent… I did date and even married a person from my own culture… But her wanted a wife and a girlfriend at the same time… I am happy with my “white boy”…
I thought when I first opened this article it was going to be bitching about race and how people identify themselves. But I actually felt really empowered after reading this. As a mixed person, it is quite difficult to label yourself as a certain race cause when we were growing up we were taught that we were half and half, I was always made fun of for being the white girl in my colored family. So this article was very empowering and I feel confident identifying myself in the race I am cause I shouldnt be ashamed of being half. Cause I am who I am.
Hopefully we can all someday eventually just be recognized as human. I’m going to teach my children the value of a life not the importance of the color it wears.
I think it is harmful to real Black women to label mixed women as Black. These women are not allowed to represent their white, asian, indigenous and non-black Latino sides so why on Earth are they allowed to represent real Black women. This is just another attempt by black males to erase actual Black women using mixed women. One good example is the movie Dope. All of the actresses in the film are light skinned mixed race women used to represent Black women. The Black men in Dope are actually dark skinned Black men. This is how mixed race women are used; to erase actual Black women.
Queen, what are “real black women”? If by “real black” you mean of 100% African ancestry then none of us born in the “USA” are “real black according to you. If by “real Black” you mean “dark skin” innerstand Melanin is so intrinsically potent two dark skinned Nigerians can produce a high yellow 100% African baby.
Some mixed women are darker than you & I put together. Melanin produces every shade. A “mixed Black woman” as you say, can be “Togo & Cape Verdean” with beautiful dark skin or beautiful light skin. But she defines her SELF, not her color, not me, not you.
Black doesn’t mean “dark”, it means, “child of melanin who exudes light.” – Ebrahim Aseem Darkness is the most powerful, feared light. We are the light of this world. Most emulated. Never duplicated. Out of eternal Blackness, let there be light. Peace & light to you.
exactly hes just one of many mixed people trying to take the black image
I’m not mixed, I’m west African.
How lucky to be a part of many, and be a whole self 😉
You know nothing about Jamaicans history. Unless I misunderstood why you through it in there. Otherwise I like what you have to say.
Great article. I’m white, hubby Chinese. My children totally identify themselves as Chinese. My son once told a friend of his that I was Asian also, that friend looked at him like he was nuts. His response, “yeah, she is CaucASIAN.” He killed himself laughing.
This was a beautiful article. It made me happy to know that there are actually some people that think this way. Maybe when more people realise this fact we will come together, and actually become an intelligent society. There is no black, white, brown, yellow or red, we all are the same beautiful individuals on the inside, no matter what we believe or where we come from or what we are born as male, female, etc……
Lovely post. I’ve always been at odds with my heritage. I’m just 1/8 black, and I look very white because of that. I feel awkward because I don’t broadcast that I have black heritage. I’ve heard so many negative comments online and irl about white girls like me trying to appropriate that I just keep my mouth shut and let everyone think I’m 100% white.
I think I would have been more comfortable with my heritage, learning properly about it, and expressing myself had I gotten the chance to know my great grandfather.
So here is my question for you – what do people like me do/say about our heritage and color? Do we just play white forever ignoring our ancestors, or do we live out as a mixed person who is very very white skinned? Should I just stick with my known Swedish heritage, and ignore the rest? In doing that I feel I am doing a disservice to my Great grandfather.
I just never know what to do about race without offending.
THANK YOU SO MUCH BROTHER. ALL MY LIFE I’VE BEEN TOLD HOW WHITE I AM OR I LOOK HISPANIC. WHITE PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT I AM CUZ OF MY VERY CURLY HAIR AND MY ETHNIC FEATURES. I TELL EM I’M BLACK BUT THEY DON’T BELIEVE ME. THEY SAY “YOU’RE NOT REALLY BLACK ARE YOU? I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOMINICAN OR PUERTO RICAN.” I THINK I WOULD KNOW WHAT ETHNICITY MY FATHER IS. WHEN THEY SEE MY MOM THEY COMMENT ON ME BEIN BIRACIAL. I ALWAYS USE THE SAME LINE. “THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS BIRACIAL.” MY CHILD IS LIGHTER THAN ME BUT HER FATHER IS DARKER THAN ME HAVING BOTH OF HIS PARENTS AS BLACK AS MY FATHER. I’M TEACHING MY CHILD ABOUT HER BLACKNESS. I REALIZED REAL YOUNG THAT MANY PEOPLE WHO KNOW MY ETHNICITY WOULD CALL ME BLACK BUT NOT ONE PERSON WOULD CALL ME WHITE. AS GLOW IN THE DARK AS MY SKIN IS, I TAN IN THE SUN AND HAVE THE SAME STRUGGLES AS MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS. I’M TIRED OF MY ETHNICITY ALWAYS BEING IN QUESTION. I’M PROUD OF MY BLACKNESS AND I WON’T LET ANYONE TAKE THAT FROM ME.
Hello all! I thought this post was beautiful and insightful! Thank you Mr Aseem! I am a light skin woman with green eyes from a biracial mom and a Black Trinidadian father and my identity has always been a contentious topic for me and my family. Im the only one that took on a lighter colour but my features definitely resemble my Fathers. My question is why am I always seen as not “black enough”? In my family my beautiful brothers and sisters are all different shades, from dark skin to light skin, yet I am constantly needing to justify and prove my blackness… Its very discouraging and I really wish we as a people could love and accept one and other for who we are and for what we do. Our actions and intentions should matter more than our skin colour, hair texture or body types. Measure me on the content of my soul and not the way I look. I have always Identified as a black women because my experience have been indicative of that. Being marigliized, isolated, living in poverty, in criminalized neighbourhoods and feeling oppressed in different contexts and capacities. What does it mean to be black these days? Im not going to go through hoops of fire to prove who I am to anyone… No one should have to…
Love, acceptance and empathy… Thats the way to a better life and a better world…
I expected to hate your post based on the title but I decided to read it anyways and I’m glad I did. I am black, but I don’t look black. I look like a tanned white girl to the untrained eye. I always tell people that I am part Irish, part African, and part Cherokee to try and get people to not make assumptions about people’s skin colors, even though it might be stupid for me to try to do so. I am proud of my ethnicities and I don’t like for people to see me as just a “white” girl, because I am so much more than that – not that any of that should matter – but I struggle with it, so thank you for your post.
I have white skin, but dark freckles. In the summer I darken very well. Not black but a nice brown tan. I decided to do a dna test through ancestry dot com. Found out I am 1% senegal african. It explains my very ethnic curly almost froish hair that nobody else in my family has.
I’M A BLACK WOMAN. MY MAMA IS WHITE BUT I NEVER WILL BE. I DON’T IDENTIFY WITH WHITE CULTURE AT ALL. I DON’T LOOK EVEN REMOTELY WHITE DESPITE MY GLOW IN THE DARK COMPLEXION. I SOUND JUST LIKE THE BROOKLYN ROOTS I COME FROM. WHEN “REAL” BLACK WOMEN TELL ME I’M NOT BLACK I SIMPLY SAY THIS. MY FATHER IS OF NIGERIAN, CONGOLESE, MALI, BENIN/TOGO, IVORY COAST, SENEGALESE AND CHEROKEE ANCESTRY. I HAVE HIS NOSE AND CHEEKS. I HAVE HIS SMILE AND THE FULLNESS OF HIS LIPS. I ALSO HAVE BLACK HAIR AND I TAN IN THE SUMMER. MY MOTHER DOES NOT TAN. SHE GETS FRECKLES AND STAYS PAPER WHITE. WHO IS ANYONE TO DENY ME MY BIRTHRIGHT. MY PLACE AMONG MY PEOPLE. OTHERS HAVE TRIED COUNTLESS TIMES TO GET ME TO BE MORE “WHITE” LIKE MY MAMA AND FAILED. WHY WOULD YOU DENY US “BIRACIAL” PEOPLE WHEN WE NEED AS MANY PEOPLE TO STAND WITH US AS POSSIBLE? WHY DENY ME WHEN I LOVE MY LIGHT, DARK AND IN-BETWEEN SISTERS AND BROTHERS? WHY THE HATE? TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU HATE ME. I AM A REAL BLACK WOMAN CUZ AT THE END OF THE DAY, A WHITE MAN WOULD HATE ME JUST AS MUCH AS YOU IF HATE IS IN HIS HEART. DON’T FORGET WE’RE FIGHTING THE SAME BATTLE.
On the premise that this article is correct why do people get upset when black peoples marry and pro-create outside their race? It shouldn’t matter if the offspring will be 100% black?
I started crying as I read this and it means so much to me. I’m mixed race, (black, white and aboriginal (micmac), and have always struggled to find where I fit in, despite the fact that the black half of my family calls me black. I was always teased in my household for being the pale one because I am very racially ambiguous. I’ve always been afraid of saying I’m black because people judge me harshly and say things like “What? You? Hahaha”, or “You’re only half black,” or whatever. Lately I’ve been strongly drawn to researching African art, Cultures and religions and it brought up conflicted feeling of “if I’m only half black, then I don’t have the right to celebrate that heritage because I don’t know the experience of actually being black.” But on the other hand, I don’t know the experience of being white either and many other people don’t know the experience of being mixed race. It’s hard to overcome the judgement and find my place BUT your article made me feel at peace with the different aspects of my heritage. Thank you so much for your honesty and open mind. I appreciate you writing this post.
This was a great read! I have incredibly mixed ancestry myself, primarily European and Balochi (depending on who you ask, Balochi is either Middle Eastern or Eastern Indian) but I also have a degree of Melanesian too. But I look white AF. I’m pale, natural redhead, with blue eyes. It’s hard to fully embrace it all because for one thing, my parents really never cared about any of it. I wasn’t raised in a particular culture. But the world sees me as white solely and while I am aware of the privilege that comes with, it also makes me uncomfortable and I feel a huge sense of guilt seeing how poorly Middle Eastern people are treated. So all I can do is educate and spread love. Those 2 things are the best weapons against ignorance and hate. One day hopefully we don’t need to use them as weapons, but rather it becomes a way of existing because it’s right.
You are so great. This article made me weep.