Stop giving marriage loyalty to boyfriends.


By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody

A girlfriend is the new side chick. Until he puts a ring on it, his relationship status is “available”. His phone has girls texting him. His DM has girls sending pictures. He is keeping his options open. Stop giving marriage loyalty to boyfriends. #EbrahimAseem Stop doing permanent things for temporary people. This isn’t all men, only inconsistent men.

A ring won’t make him change. If he’s not ALREADY being the consistent fully faithfully commitment man you deserve, who wraps his consistency around your loyalty, like a ring around a finger, why the hell is he your “boyfriend”? Don’t be loyal to complacency. #EbrahimAseem

If you’re not married, you’re single. There’s no “talking” or “Bae” or “girlfriend” option on a job application. It goes (1) take her on dates. (2) Court her. (3) Propose to her. (4) Marry her. If you give him all your loyalty before he gives you all his commitment, he has no incentive to ever commit to you. #EbrahimAseem Require him to court you. A girlFRIEND is just that to a man. A friend. Ask me you trust & they’ll tell you.

Before committing to an inconsistent man, require at least one of these:
1. His phone, to view in full with him one time.
2. The full names of all his EXs, with an explanation of why it ended.
3. His Instagram password changed to your name.
If he can’t provide full transparency, don’t provide him with full loyalty. #EbrahimAseem And if you can’t do the same for him, you’re not as “loyal” as you think you are. It’s not about “trust issues” it’s about transparency & reassurance. #EbrahimAseem A loyal person welcomes opportunities to prove their loyalty & reassure your doubts. But a guilty person will never let you see all the evidence in their phone.

You’re not wasting your time. You’re playing house & giving your boyfriend ‘husband privileges’ while he’s denying you ‘wife commitment’. #EbrahimAseem He texts other girls, some of which want a future with him just like you. You & his side chicks are basically teammates & he’s the player, dribbling your hearts, playing all of you. Think I’m lying? Ask to see his phone right now. Don’t worry, I’ll wait. See, if none of you have his hand in marriage, you’re all on the same level to him, until he marries one of you. #EbrahimAseem

Guys feel they’re either married or single. If you’re loyal to an unmarried man, he’s not “cheating” on you by dating other women. He’s behaving single, while you’re playing house. #EbrahimAseem

Loyalty is a reciprocal action. If you’re loyal to an inconsistent man who has not let all other women know he has faithfully committed to you only, you are DISloyal to your own self worth. #EbrahimAseem

He can be on the phone telling you he loves you, while laying in another woman’s bed. Cuddling her & their secret child you don’t even know about, because you didn’t investigate his previous relationships. If you give him marriage level loyalty before he makes his intentions for a future with you know by consistent actions, he has no incentive to marry you. Make consistency a prerequisite to your loyalty.

Some girls will say, “well married men do the same thing.” No. If a man can’t marry his monogamy to your loyalty, & stop flirting with Instamodels in his phone, that “boy” is NOT your “husband”. Y’all are just roommates. Don’t downgrade ALL MARRIAGE just because you’ve yet to experience a man of valor wrap his consistency around your loyalty like a ring around a finger. #EbrahimAseem

Inconsistency is a turn off to me. Don’t be all over me one minute & distant the next. I’m loyal to effort & actions, not empty ass promises.

A genuine woman appreciates & ONLY gives loyalty to a consistent man who encourages her growth. Now, just because she won’t “chase” you, does not mean she doesn’t like you. #EbrahimAseem Pursue her. Be patient. Show her with consistency her flaws can’t scare you away & she will let go her guarded wall for you.

I’ve had women push me away saying “Ebrahim, you deserve better than I can give. I’ve been hurt so much. I’ve this guarded wall up. I can’t give you all you deserve.” My response.

“You give me peace. Let me give you what you never got yet always deserved, someone to be patient w/ your flaws & understanding of your past without judgement. #EbrahimAseem

I’m in love w/ your eyes. Addicted to viewing your soul thru them. I wanna know your story. All you’ve survived. Pain you bottle up inside. #EbrahimAseem I want to be your stability & peace.”

Never push away love you deserve, because you feel too flawed. Never give loyalty to quickly, feeling you are asking too much, because you’re not enough. To the right one, you’re enough. You’re everything.

If you liked this article, you’ll love “Why no man should date a SINGLE MORTHER” =>

By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat On Loyal Women”
Instagram: @Fuel4TheBODY
Twitter: @EbrahimAseem

I am a chef & motivational speaker. I write new articles every thursday & speak life into groups of 100s of men at universities & corporations worldwide.

Want a free copy of my book? click “Follow” => click “get notifications”, or “see first” then message me so I can message you a free copy.

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About Ebrahim Aseem

I am a chef, writer & motivational speaker. I've been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years & I'm currently shopping my first book, "Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women"
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7 Responses to Stop giving marriage loyalty to boyfriends.

  1. blueturtle19 says:

    This is so well said. It’s so nice to see it written from a “gentleman’s” point of view, because you are a true gentleman if you practice what you preach. I am not from the “tech” generation but my children are and I have seen them both (now a woman and a man) experience the “player” and sidekick routine. There are so many serial daters out there. Relationships should be open from the time they become serious, you npdont take calls from former dates, you should both be an open book, including you cellphone. Damn cellphones have been the ruin of even non-romantic relationships because people text instead of speaking to one another. But that’s for another time. Your information is right on and I wish that there were articles like this around when I was your age. But then after dating some players, I found my soulmate and we have been monogamous for 30 years and married for nearly 28, so not everyone is scouting. There is someone loyal for everyone.


  2. Brianna says:

    I think that instead of dating one person at at time and then finding out they are the wrong one and getting fucked over…we should all date a BUNCH of people as friends until we find one who we connect with and who is worthy of our love then settle down and get married. This one person at a time shit is a total waste of time and leads to a LOT of heartbreak unless we are like outrageous super lucky the first time and that is so rare.

    • Latrice says:

      But that’s where dating takes place because your dating different people to find out if that’s the one you want to take to the next level and get to know. To see if you have a an attraction and not just a physical one but then by time you get to the courting part you have narrowed your search down to this one person to now begin your relationship to get to know each other a little deeper. Meeting family and friends spending more personal quality time with them (not included sex). At this point you should have the conversation to be monogamous.

  3. Amber says:

    I just wish I could meet you in person. To read the empowerment is one thing, to hear it, synthesize, and mutually digest it is another. I hope I get to meet you one day. Until then, continue walking in your purpose. #youareappreciated

  4. Nik Sunni says:

    Finally. Lol i have been trying to explain this to people and they are just dumbfounded. Like really… No a marriage doesn’t guarantee loyalty but dating and getting to know someone on a different level where both of you still lead independent lives, you get a different perspective without the false requirements of a relationship. It gives you a chance to see if they really are who they say they are.

  5. Misunderstood_73 says:

    This made me cry

  6. Deidre Hasan says:

    Wow this post is nice! Refreshing to get a different perspective on such a topic.

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