Bad bitches are winning. Cardi B is #1 on the billboard charts. Rihanna’s Fenty is the #1 make-up brand. And men prefer Self-Proclaimed Bad Bitches over sweet women.
A reader asked me, “Ebrahim, why do guys prefer the former-stripper, Cardi B Bad bitch type with fake boobs & ass over us sweet girls with natural bodies?”
Mentally immature males fear being emotionally vulnerable to a woman. The world makes men think we have to hold in our emotions. He opens up to a S.P.B.B., because she won’t make him grow, take accountability or break down like he NEEDS to. His opening up will only lead to her stroking his ego, subsequently burying his emotions. #EbrahimAseem
See, a S.P.B.B. knows she can steal a sweet girl’s man, simply by playing into the playboy fantasy adolescent-minded males possess.
The 5-step Bad Bitch Guide to attracting a guy.
1. Emojis.
Half her conversation is in emojis, appealing to the visual nature of a male. She knows, the right combination of hearts, kissy faces & winks is the cheat code to unlocking the attention of a male.
2. Goofy banter.
This is where the SPBB has the sweet girl beat. Her conversation & behavior is always light, fun, silly and goofy. She knows how to appease a male by pretending to like whatever he likes, be it sports, video games, gangster movies, trap music or criticizing other women. She’s fully aware that more than looks, men are attracted to a woman with a fun, goofy vibe.
3. Ms. Independent
A SPBB is quick to tell you how much she doesn’t need a man. How much of her own she makes. Don’t worry about the fact she doesn’t pay all the rent where she lives. We’re in a down economy and she’s got her own *Neo voice*
And she doesn’t need a man for anything. If one acts up, she’s quick to cut a guy off, so don’t get comfortable. *Cardi B voice. In fact, she has more side hoes than any guy in her phone. The majority of which she met online. This is how she stays independent and so emotionally low-maintenance. She subscribes to the mantra “if a guy pays your way, he will think you OWE him something sexually.” Males in her life eat this up, happy they don’t have to treat her to a date.
Males like self-proclaimed ‘bad bitches’ (SSBB), because they feel she wants a man, but doesn’t NEED a man. A SPBB is all about her money & is simply not as emotionally high-maintenance as a sweet girl. Sweet girls have abandonment issues & trust issues that get aggravated when the man they like doesn’t give her enough deserved attention.
Cardi B only became a stripper to escape domestic violence. Initially she dropped out of school to spend more time with her boyfriend, fearing if she didn’t, he’d get a side piece. After she moved in with him & his mom, he begin financially abusing her. She was trapped. So she stripped, stacked, moved out & used the money to go back to school.
Sweet women must learn to put her goals before her emotions. Being in her feelings, chasing unambitious boys will leave you broke & lonely. It’s a mans job to pursue you. Have your own, and know you deserve to be spoiled. Not just with money. With time, attention & consistency without always having to ask for it.
4. Stroke his throbbing ego to climax.
A SPBB knows how to subtly post the right caption-selfie combination to arouse a male’s throbbing ego, for her to subsequently stroke.
She will post a revealing picture of her body, with an un-thirst–trap-like-caption, like,
“ugh, I’m getting fat, need to get in the gym more like this and tone”. Along with an inspirational quote she’s never lived, by a writer whose work she’s never read.
Meanwhile, in her picture, she’s wearing spandex boy shorts & a lingerie bra (not a sports bra) in her house (not at the gym).
Yet, somehow we’re supposed to believe she’s in a gym. She can’t spell “elliptical” trainer, let alone properly use one. But, it’s ok, and it’s not “thirsty” simply, because her picture caption is a goal, and a woman with goals is to be admired.
Here come all the thirsty males commenting on her picture, vying for her attention, hoping to get noticed. She posts her selfie, chooses the male-option who sucks the least, then stroke his ego.
“Aww thanks guys,” She says to all.
“Gotta stay fit ;)” she replies to a random girl, to make it seem like her post isn’t aimed only at gaining males’ attention.
“You’re so sweet handsome,” she tells our lucky winner.
And what does he win? Vain, pointless, goofy convo with a bad bitch with a stripper body.
Cardi B said she doesn’t recommend girls strip to get out money problems the way she did. Her advice to women on getting a fake ass is “Just don’t do it, because I don’t really know what’s in my ass right now. I could die. Who knows. I regret it. It’s a trend.”
5. Never open up. Never show the real her.
A SPBB’s secret weapon is she never completely open up to a guy about her true feelings. Her grandpa could have died last night, and she will still send a guy a #GoodMorning selfie like nothing tragic happened in her life.
She smiles so bright, yet she’s fighting demons every day, with no one to talk to about it. No one cares. And the ones who claim they want her time so badly, are never there.
Guys be thinking girls are looking for a daddy figure in random men. Nah, she’s really looking to life for the nurturing mother she’s never had.
Self proclaimed bad bitches are really sweet girls deep inside. But she got tired of being trampled over, emotionally stepped on & having her sweet nature taken for weakness. So, she decided to become emotionless. It’s not hard to be emotionless, when you legit don’t feel anything anymore. #EbrahimAseem
“Before I started stripping,” Cardi B said, “I was very satisfied with the way I looked. I thought I had a nice face & body, until I started going to the strip club.” Once she saw the bad bitches men made it rain for, she started feeling insecure. So, she got breast implants & fake ass shots.
Even though she said she’s not a role model & doesn’t want kids to look up to her, women like Cardi B because she is a sweet woman who has learned self acceptance & high confidence to match her unfuckwitable disposition.
What good is it to be sweet without being confident? The beauty of chocolate is that it combines the sweet taste of sugar with the bold confident flavor of cocoa. Just be yourself, the most confident version of self you can be.
A sweet woman who lacks self-confidence turns a guy off, because he knows she will try to make him her whole world and rely on his attention to drown out her overthinking thoughts.
This annoys the hell out off men. That is why the guy you like ignores your texts. He would rather have flirtversations with ‘bad bitches’ on Instagram, instead of conversing with a sweet, caring, passive-aggressive, over emotional, over-apologetic woman like you. #EbrahimAseem
When a sweet girl likes a man, she needs to hear from him everyday, every minute, just him and her, on some ‘The Notebook’ type shit.
If she texts him & he doesn’t respond within 2 minutes of her pressing “enter” in her mind, she’s like, “oh, ok, so you ain’t got time to text me back, but you got time to be over there, breathing air, existing and shit, living your life without me? You know what? Fuck you. I gave you my all. I gave you my WHOLE heart & you shitted on it and lit it on fire. I gave you whole my soul, and you…oh shit, he just texted me back! “Hey babe, I missed you 😦 wyd?” smh. Fail.
This is why some girls pretend to be heartless. She feels if she’s heart-less her heart can’t be broken. Bodak Yellow is #1, because sweet girls use it to mentally escape from being in her sweet girl feelings, to a bad bitch unbothered mode. #EbrahimAseem
When will the SPBB awaken to the realization she’s much more than the bad bitch she calls herself?
When will the sweet girl mentally mature into a sweet WOMAN and match confidence with her sweetness?
Males do not choose bad bitches over a sweet woman, they USE bad bitches over a sweet woman, because she does not challenge him to grow up like a sweet girl does. Stay sweet. These males are trying to tell you they are not yet on your level of life maturity, but you refuse to listen.
A bad bitch will not require him to make her a wife, before making her a mother. Sweet girls lowkey have baby fever. They will never admit they secretly hope for a “positive” on that pregnancy test. Grown ass little boys fear fatherhood, so he will choose a bad bitch over a good girl. #EbrahimAseem
A bad bitch will not require a man to answer that ‘what are we’ text. In fact, she will never send it.
Sweet girls can literally know she’s not anywhere near ready for a relationship, yet she wonders what your intentions are with her. She knows she is wife material. She has her ring picked out. She has dress patterns screenshot. Her pinterest is full of home decor and bedding sets. She’s ready for marriage. Grown ass little boys fear faithful commitment, so he will choose a bad bitch over a sweet girl.
A bad bitch always knows the latest slang, latest song, and she’s seen the video. That outfit those vixens were wearing in it, she searched their Instagram names and has already online-pre-ordered the dresses they wear from Fashion Nova. For this reason, a bad bitch is a trophy to a grown ass little boy.
Immature males care more about getting approval from OTHER MEN than they care about what a woman thinks. As suspect as this sounds, it is true. This is the number one reason males choose a bad bitch over a sweet girl, for male approval.
Mentally immature males have this competition with each other, who can have the hottest car, who rock the hottest shoes, and who can have the hottest woman. Hip hop has coined this the century of the bad bitch, so no matter what type of girl an immature guy really wants, he will always choose a bad bitch over a sweet girl. Who the hell wants a sweet girl anyway? A gentleman does. We hate this bad bitch phase with a passion. That’s why I proposed to a single mother, sweet woman named Brie, with the natural curves of a baddie.
https://twitter.com/ebrahimaseem/status/899065875944177665
Say goodbye to the reign of the bad bitch. Welcome to the era of the Sweet Woman who can do both.
Want a sweet woman.
By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
Men, stop chasing the bad bitch fantasy girl & give a sweet woman a chance. Tell her, “I want a sweet woman.
I want a woman who cares.
I want an affectionate woman who likes to cuddle, pinch my cheeks, rub my beard, rub her feet on my leg, poke me in my arm repeatedly, only so I will grab her sweet ass and tickle her until her pretty, bright smile shines like the midnight moon.
I want a woman who loves to read. Can you tell me your story as I turn the pages of your mind? I know your story is full of horror & drama, but I want to be your plot twist peace.
I want a woman who cares so much, about animals, nature life, who will treat my dog like she’s her own child. Who I can surprise at work with 1-800 Flowers & she won’t think it’s corny. Who I can take to the beach at night and gaze at the stars with, while I rub her feet and recite poetry to her.
I want a nerdy women who like random facts, animal planet & anything regarding the universe.
I want a sweet woman, who watches more than reality tv. Let’s cuddle up & watch the travel channel. Each pick two of our favorite locales, put them in a hat & whichever you pull we will vaykay there.
I want a sweet woman who likes home decor and picking out patterns for my living room. Let’s have a mall date, go pick out furniture and you can teach me about color patterns and Feng shui.
Then, I’ll take your pretty ass to Sephora for an hour-long shopping spree and you can get whatever you like on me, and get pretty for our dinner and opera date that night.
I want a sweet girl I can take to the opera, a comedy show, to hear live jazz, or oldies, or 90s R&B or Neo-Soul. Let’s have bbq lunches in the park and dates to the zoo. I’m a big ass kid at heart.
I want a sweet woman to take on a date to PUMP IT UP, so we can push all the snotty-nosed children out the way & play, bounce & JUMP in that shit. Grab some PIZZA for lunch, some ICEEs & cotton candy. Then we can go play laser tag, after I whoop her ass in bowling real quick.
I want to wife the type of Woman who would let me bring my lil niece on a date WITH us to the aquarium, or paintballing, or to the park to have a water balloon and water gun fight. I love to laugh & have fun & I need that in a Woman.
I want an sweet woman who loves adventure, who I can take white water rafting, skydiving, or to the gun range. A woman I can hoop with, lift weights & work out with, jog with, a woman unafraid to get her hands dirty with me.
I want a sweet girl with an old soul who has so much love and affection to give. I have dated the self proclaimed bad bitch before, and I must confess, their pretty, sexy, fine, curvy asses bored the hell out of me.
Silly, goofy, sweet, corny, nerdy, healthy, home designing, wedding shower planning, baby fever having women are everything life has to offer. I just want to give her two rings, two children and two yorkies, two trips overseas per year, two cars, but most of all, I want to give her two words, I do.”
And bro, every mentally mature man I have ever met in my 13 years as a mentor for men want the same damn thing too. Real men love sweet women.
By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow @fuel4thebody
Author of the book, “Why Men Cheat on Loyal Women”
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I am a chef, motivational speaker, nutritionist and author, of African ancestry. I speak isiZulu & Swahili I’ve been a youth mentor for young Black men for 10 years.
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Ebrahim Aseem
Real News 