Watching Kevin Durant’s MVP speech, truly touched my heart, mind & soul.
His humility made me so emotional, because I could relate to his struggle
growing up & his opening up about how his mother sacrificed for him & his brother has given me the strength & inspired me to open up about how my moms sacrificed for me & my sister growing up.
I now know which book I want to release first and I’m dedicating my first chapter to the struggle I went through growing up, because KD taught me, When I achieve success & “something good happens, idk about you, but I tend to look back at what brought me here.” – Kevin Durant
Never make excuses for why someone is not showing you love, attention, LOYALTY, respect and acknowledging all you do for them.
If they really cared like they SAY they do, they’d SHOW it. Don’t allow someone to be in your life if they’re not IMPROVING your life. Your kindness, niceness and loyalty is way TOO VALUABLE for you to keep just giving it away to people. Make them EARN it by first proving to you they DESERVE it with their reciprocal actions.
The same level of attention, time, faithfulness, love, loyalty and energy you give to someone else, you deserve reciprocated back to you. Please do NOT cheat yourSELF of that. The thought of them should give you chills & smiles, not stress and frustration. Rather family, friends or lover; if every time they hit you up, they’re asking you for something: advice, money, a babysitter, their hair done, time, for a ride, a recommendation, a hook up, more money! yet they aren’t freely giving any of that to YOU, cut those leeches off ✂✂ The exact same level of love you show others, you deserve that shown to you. Now listen,
I know you’ve been waiting for this kind of love, over thinking about why this love seems to forever elude you, but don’t wait for that love. Have that love for self. Shower yourself with that love. Drown yourself in that love, to the point your lungs, heart and every intrinsic inch of your existence has that love in you so DEEP, it will ATTRACT someone who has the same love. That person will not only reciprocate that love to you, they will resuscitate that love to you like your love is each other’s oxygen. Stop fearing you will never find all that you have to give in another person.
There is no such thing as FEAR or a shy person. Fear is an illusion, used to control us. Babies are NOT born shy. You were not shy as a toddler. You were fearless, until you were miseducated and taught fear; to be afraid of strangers; to not be so hyper; to care what people think of you; to think before you speak. Insecurities are implanted into us like weeds. We must unlearn the seeds of fear, blossom confidence and live free.
Be like a child, free of fear. Matthew 18:3 says, “Unless you change your ways and become as little children, you will never enter into the kingdom of heaven.” Many preachers hold back reading that scripture and the scripture warning us that the Anti-Christ will come through the church, because they some of them try to hide that revelation that Jesus told to the disciples about how unless we be free of fear like a child, we can never enter into heaven. We have to wake up to the realization that we are more spiritual, more caring and have more wisdom than even the ones who have taught us.
The reason you stress so much throughout your day, toss and turn, and can’t sleep nights is, because you’re the most genuine one in your family, the most loyal one in your circle and more caring, and faithful than all of your EXs combined, and it’s hard carrying the weight, stress & selfishness of everyone in your life on your shoulders.
Regardless, do me a huge favor and start cutting off all those who do not do for you all that you do for them, and I promise; you will be able to receive mental rest.
“How do you let go of self doubt and insecurity, when you’re plagued by the memories of all the pain you’ve been through in your past if thats all you’ve ever known?” a British App developer asked me during a motivational speak I did for a group of 120 foreign-born App & Java developers, new to Silicon Valley. He looked like Ryan Gosling, yet sounded like Idris Elba, with the same thick British accent. I called him up to stand next to me, so I could clearly make out what he was saying.
“I was born in Spain, but I grew up in London. My mother abandoned me in Spain when I was six years old, after she told me she didn’t want to be bothered with having to take care of me anymore, so I basically had to raise myself. I know being abandoned as a child has resulted in me being very hesitant as an adult. I often procrastinate, doubting myself and my abilities, even though I have no reason to do so. It affects me not only in my career, but in pursuing women. This is the reason I’ve never had a girlfriend.”
When he confessed he’d never had a girlfriend, all of the women in the audience gasped in shock, unable to hide their obvious attraction to him.
“It’s not that I don’t meet beautiful women,” he continued, “it’s just hard for me to let them in and force myself to open up to trust them, because I have this burning anxiety in my mind, telling me whoever I let in too close will disappoint me just like my mother did when I was a little boy. How does one let go of self doubt and insecurity, and the fear that once you open up to trust someone and let them in, they will hurt and disappoint you like everyone else has done? When everyone you let in your life destroys your trust, it makes you feel like you’re the problem. Like there’s something wrong with you.”
“It was never you;” I assured him. “The reason why people have put you through so much hate and turmoil, is because they have so much hate and turmoil for themselves. How toxic a person treats you is a physical manifestation of how they think of themselves.
If a form of matter is TOXIC, it’s toxicity is not a reflection of the substance it combines and combusts with. Therefore, how people, forms of matter, treat you, is not a reflection of you or your worth. It’s all about CHEMISTRY. It is extremely justifiable for you to be hesitant to open up and trust people, but the key is not to lock out every one from entering into your life. The key is to only combine with LIKE FORMS OF MATTER. That combination will have a chemical reaction, mirroring the perfect marriage of hydrogen and Oxygen, which possesses a union that is validated by the fruition it produces, H2O; WATER.
The manifestation of your relationship with someone will prove to you rather or not they deserve to be in your life and be allowed an opportunity to earn your trust. The key word is ‘earn’ your trust.
Your mother used her maternal relationship with you to destroy the trust you gave her from the moment you first laid eyes on her out of her womb. This, however wasn’t your fault. Your mother did not abandon you, because of you; she wasn’t tired of being your mother, she never was your mother. Having a child does not make one a mother, displaying selfless, nurturing actions and consistently putting your child’s life before your own is what makes you a mother; she was just a selfish female with a baby.
Don’t allow how a person treats you to dictate how you feel about yourself. How a person treats you has no relation to your worth. We subconsciously assume if someone treats us good, we are good in their eyes or if someone treats us bad, we are bad in their eyes, but allow me to take you deep inside the depths of the excellency of knowledge, regarding this flawed theory of good and bad.
Good or bad do not exist in the universe. Those are human ways of subjectively weighing the value of intangible matter. We weigh things as good or bad to justify why we continue to fail at something, or why the very things we KNOW we deserve elude us. However, there is no good or bad, only perception.
I don’t like how many of you mentally beat yourself up late at night, staying up judging your decisions as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, doubting yourself, your ability and rather or not you can really achieve your dreams, or if you’re just fooling yourself into ever thinking you can. Stop that; don’t let disappointments of life make you feel down or lose confidence in yourself.
You defeat yourself with your OWN over thinking & being too critical of yourself. Do not let disappointments of life make you feel down or lose confidence. Do not allow other’s opinions of you or comparisons of you to cause you to doubt yourself. Don’t allow how unpleasantly people treat you to determine your level of happiness. Please don’t mentally beat yourself up for decisions you make or have made in your past. You are NOT your past. Stop blaming yourself for what you did so long ago. That’s NOT you. This is you NOW.
Please don’t doubt yourself, because you don’t have all you want in your life right now or have yet to achieve the level of success you feel you already should have at this age. Don’t do your opposition’s job. Your opposition’s job is to be hard on you and make you doubt your SELF. Your job is to encourage your SELF, not constantly tell yourself your shortcomings everyday with your thoughts like you do. That’s insane. Cut that out.
Only hold thoughts of what you want. Don’t allow the weeds of doubt to be incepted into the garden that is your mind. It’s so amazing how much stronger we are than we realize, until will kill doubt, throw it in a ditch, and bury it with our self confidence, so it never resurfaces. You’re amazing! never forget that.
I want you to know you WILL accomplish your dreams. You’re amazing, nothing can stop you. Yet, what is holding you back is self doubt. This false thought of judging all you do on a scale of ‘good’ or ‘bad”‘. ‘Fight’ is a verb you may consider bad, yet consider this: ‘fighting’ a cold or ‘fighting’ procrastination are things you consider good, thus showing the polarization of the definition of ‘good’ and ‘bad’. Your perception of the subject “procrastination” causes the value of the predicate “fight” to change from bad to good, thus proving neither bad nor good exists in the universe absolute. Good and bad are a stick you use to mentally beat yourself up. A stick you use to measure your decisions based off their outcome. Take the stick of Good and Bad, hold it with both hands and break that stick in two.
Rather something is good or bad doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because Good or Bad are not matter. Conversely, your thoughts are things. How you think about yourself and your thoughts on your self & self worth; those thoughts matter, because thoughts ARE matter.
Not every form of matter interacts with light. Thus, not every form of matter is visible. Yet, we know many things exist and contain matter, because they interact with other fields of energy. For instance, there are particles called neutrinos which are not visible, because they do not interact with light. Yet, they do interact with both gravity and with the “weak force”. Hence, we can detect them through the weak force, proving their existence.
Neutrinos are neutral, unable to be electrically charged, meaning they are not affected by the electromagnetic forces that attract charged forms of matter such as electrons and protons.
Neutrinos are like you will be, once you kill self doubt, unable to be affected by the forces of darkness that attract forms of matter like yourself. You must have a neutral mind, no matter what anyone says about you, thinks about you and no matter what past pain you’ve been through, do not allow the forces of darkness to dim your shine.
Dark matter is called dark matter, because it does not interact with light. Yet, there is so much of it that it clearly interacts with the gravitational force and causes large discrepancies in the motion of galaxies. Hence, we detect it through the gravitational force; that is, we detect the relationship it has with other forms of matter.
In this regard, your thoughts are INDEED things. Your thoughts are forms of matter. When you think of something and moments later it happened; this wasn’t a coincidence. You manifested this happening mentally. The reason you continue to fail at accomplishing in receiving what you really want, is not because you don’t deserve it. no; it is, because you subconsciously doubt you will get it.
When you think, ‘I really want this thing’ IT draws closer to you, like a tide drawing close to shore.
When you then think, ‘but I’ve never had this thing, so I might not get it’ IT draws away from you, obeying your thought of repelling it.
See, your doubt thoughts are just as strong and obedient as your trust thoughts. The successful state of happiness is the point where our trust in our ability becomes stronger than our doubt in our ability. Stop doubting that what you want will ever come to you, only then will it come to you. This is the law of attraction. Remember, you do not exist IN the universe. You ARE a universe. You manifest success. Stop forgetting that. Remember; awaken hypothalamus gland. Connect frontal cortex; awaken pineal gland. Ascend.
“If a woman can recognize a weak-minded male who is playing games, so she decides to hold firm and wait for her king, assuming that she has determined her worth. What then is still attracting these same males?” a Tall Sudanese woman asked me.
“What is still attracting these same men is the very presence of the mental recognition of THESE SAME MEN.” I answered.
“See, the law of attraction does not mean, ‘”a woman who doesn’t know her worth attracts weak-minded males. and a woman who does know her worth attracts a king.’
No, those are your thoughts. The law of attraction that exists in the universe means a thought attracts the subject of that thought, rather good or bad.
If a woman who doesn’t know her worth thinks, ‘hmmm let me entertain these weak-minded males who play games with a loyal woman’s heart” she will attract THESE SAME MALES to her.
Likewise, even though a woman may know her worth, and she thinks, “I recognize these weak-minded males who play games with a loyal woman’s heart and I DO NOT want one, I’m waiting for my king” this woman will attract THESE SAME MALES as the woman who doesn’t know her worth.
Why? Because the law of attraction does not take in account what we ‘don’t want’ rather, it attracts the EXACT SUBJECT we think of, rather we want it or do not want it.
If I say to you, ‘don’t think about oranges’ what are you going to think about?……yep, oranges. It doesn’t matter, keyword matter, that I said “don’t” in front of the subject, the thought attracts the subject, rather you want that subject or not.
A woman waiting for a king must STOP SAYING THINKING OR EVEN MENTALLY ACKNOWLEDGING THE EXISTENCE OF WEAK-MINDED MALES WHO ARE DOGS OR PLAY GAMES WITH A WOMAN’S HEART. Else she will forever attract these males, simply by holding the thought of there existence in her mind. Only think of your king young queen, he’s waiting for you.
Brain cells possess the cellular ability to attract like matter. The dream mate you want, the career you want, the peace of mind you want and the life you want are all forms of matter you can ATTRACT to you, simply by acting as if you already have them by holding the thought of them in your mind. Equally yoked unions with reciprocal mental accession and intellectual conception ensure love will come to fruition. Now you’re over thinking about the last sentence I just said, but I said it in that very way to prove to you how much you over think. See,
You over think. Way too much and it’s starting to affect your emotions, to the point you’re not happy with your life right now. You question all your actions. Playing that “what if” game you always play, especially late at night, as you lay in bed. THAT is why your sleep schedule is messed up. You make yourself stressed. Sick. Cry. Angry. Depressed. You stay up late, can’t sleep, because you’re replaying thousands of scenarios in your mind. Worrying what future outcomes will be. Why you can’t trust people? When will you get out of your current living situation? Why everyone in your family STILL treats you like a little girl and boy, even though you’re a GROWN ASS WOMAN AND MAN.
I know you sit and wonder if you will ever get all the things you want in life. Questioning yourself. Wondering why you can’t ever seem to find love? Wondering what’s the purpose of your life and if its worth fighting for? Well it is. Stop mentally beating yourself up just because you’re not where you want to be in your life right now. Your problems always seems so damn unsolvable when you’re thinking about it in the middle of the night, but a good nights rest on a clear conscious is the best remedy So, do me a huge favor, tonight when you lay your head down on your pillow to sleep, stop over thinking and put your mind on silent, so you can get some rest tonight when you lay your head against your pillow to sleep.
You are so much DEEPER than everyone can see. When they judge you by your appearance, or keep bringing ONE mistake you made in your past to hold against you; they fail to see your depth & how amazingly beautiful you are inside.
This is like ONLY reading a title and assuming the quote is a statement or gist of the whole writing. This is why I don’t come up with “titles” for my writing. I use a quote SOMEONE ELSE ASKED ME, to show: when we prejudge a form of matter BEFORE seeing the matter in its whole & totality; we miss the beauty inside it.
I NEVER agree with people who ask me, ‘why all men cheat?’ Or when they ask me ‘why are you still dating black women?’ but I’m fluent in sarcasm enough to mock that offensive quote, hold it up to the world to show how insane it sounds to loyal MEN, not a male, but a MAN. Kings & queens; hold your head up high to the world and show your doubters how wrong they were to ever doubt your SHINE.
All white people are NOT racist. Don’t hold the actions of the ignorant against a whole group of people.
All blacks people are NOT lazy, ratchet & uneducated. Don’t hold the actions of the ignorant against a whole group of people.
All Latinos are NOT hot tempered & undocumented. Don’t hold the temperament of few against a whole group of people..
All Men are NOT dogs. Don’t hold the behavior of the mentally immature MALES against a whole gender.
All Women are NOT “bitches”. Don’t hold the actions of the scorned against a whole gender.
All Americans are NOT selfish. Don’t hold the inhumane actions of the ignorant against a whole group of people
All young people are NOT disloyal & socially unconscious. Don’t hold the immaturity of a few against a whole generation.
Hate is hate, rather it be racism or sexism. One form of hate is not worse than the other. To hate a person, because they hate your race is just as bad as them hating your race.
To hate a whole gender, because they hate your gender is just as bad as them hating your gender.
To hate a whole religion, because they hate your religion is just as bad as them hating your religion.
BE the change you want in the world. Stop BEING the very things you don’t want to see in others.
Everyone is NOT a representation of the group they come from. Their hateful actions represent their SELF only.
Spirits have no race. Spirits have no gender.
Each spirit is unique & beautiful in its OWN right. #SpeakLife
That insecure woman who is slow to trust, slow to let go of her past and let us in, we have to be PATIENT with her
as the husband, brother, son, father, uncle and king in her life. You have no idea all the craziness going on in her life right now. She smiles brighter than the moon in midnight sky, but look beyond her pretty smile, deep inside. I guarantee you will see pain; irritation; stress; regret, guilt, family problems; pressure from her parents who call her immature, judge her actions and criticize every choice she makes. This makes a strong-minded woman slow to trust everyone, suspicious and question her sanity.
It is not that she has ‘trust issues’; she is just careful how she issues out trust. She knows trust is EARNED through time, not given from jump. As responsible men, we stack our money; save it in a bank and TRUST, so in time it will accumulate and grow interest. This is the same way we must earn trust from a woman. Invest time, loyalty, attention and consistency in a woman, EARN her trust, so her INTEREST in us will grow. This is called building up equity with a woman. Trust is equity, built up only by displaying trustworthy actions to earn trust.
It is not for us to understand why it is so difficult for a woman to let go of past pain people have put her through; it is not for us to understand why she gets so emotional; it is not for us to understand why she shuts off the whole world; it is for us to BE UNDERSTANDING of her. Check your bank account young king, just as your money needs time to grow and you are patient with it; a woman needs time to heal; be patient with her. She’s not a flake; she’s not being immature or playing mind games.
If you knew how hard it is for her to even go to sleep at night, because she’s held prisoner by her mind and haunted by her thoughts; over thinking; self doubt, questioning why she can never get the same support, loyalty, consideration and love she shows every single person who walks into her life, acting like they are permanent, only to walk out her life with no warning; you would understand what it feels like to be a brother and watch your sister go through this daily; crying in front of you and you have rub her back, sit there & feel useless; maybe then you would understand the importance of being patient with a woman.
Don’t ask a woman, “why can’t you just let me in and trust me?” Don’t demand her trust with your selfish words. Earn her trust with your deserving actions by showing her loyalty, patience and consistency, and I promise you young kings; she will give you her all, if you EARN it and lose yourself in her love.
As a woman’s rock and strength, we have to listen to a Woman’s silence. Even when she is being quiet, her thoughts are LOUD as hell. The echo of her silence speak to the pain she’s experienced; lies she’s been told; hurt she’s endured. Deep thinking women are in DEEP thought all day, with no one to vent her deepest thoughts to and take her painful thoughts away. Earn her trust; make her feel comfortable to open up to you. Be the one she can vent to; listen to the echo of her silence. Observe her thoughts by listening to her without interrupting her; absorb her pain with your positive vibe and understanding heart to take her pain away, replacing it with restored happiness.
Be careful what you say to her; your words stay with her. Don’t get so frustrated with her, that you hurt her with words. Don’t make her cry constantly; make her smile uncontrollably. Don’t break her down; build her up. If she’s willing to be loyal & faithful to you without a title, she DESERVES your commitment. If you like her, TELL her constantly. If you care about her, SHOW her consistently. Don’t call her ‘over emotional’; support her emotions. If you want her in your future, faithfully commit yourself to her.
Young kings, do not be fooled into giving all this patience and understanding to a selfish, mentally-immature female. Understand, there is a huge differed between a feMALE and woMAN. This is spiritual:
A (fe)MALE is the ‘natural huMAN’ human persona.
A (fe)MALE is a mammal with a penis or vagina.
A (wo)MAN is a spirit who controls the (fe)MALE part of one’s self,
while
a (fe)MALE is a spirit that allows the (fe)MALE (flesh) part to control it.
I’m tired of people taking all the loyalty, kindness & hard work YOU do for granted, like its nothing. It seems the more patient you are with them, the more they act like you HAVE to do all you do for them. Promise me you’ll stop giving patience, kindness, loyalty & understanding to all selfish & using people in your life; that’s like watering seedless soil with water, expecting flowers to blossom. Pouring out your patience, kindness, loyalty & understanding to people who don’t possess the seeds of selflessness, humility & mentally-maturity is a waste for you, because no matter how much you continue to give to this type of mentally-immature person; no appreciation of you by them will ever come to fruition.
This is the reason why it has never worked out with anyone in your past;
you keep giving the selfish, using, mentally-immature people you’re physically attracted to the opportunity to play the role your dream mate was put on earth to reprise. Stay single, available & loyalty to your dream mate young kings & queens, even though you’ve yet to meet them. So, once you finally FIND them, you will be ready to attract & keep them in your life, as I am doing with my future wife, even before I am even married or plan to be.
“Ebrahim, I love hearing your words, they give me life, but I feel like you are romanticizing the way in which men in this generation are willing to treat a woman,” an extremely tall, curly haired, biracial woman asked me during a Q&A session I had at a public speaking event to a group of five dozen tech entrepreneurs.
As the young woman kept talking, I was juggling listening to and empathizing with her personal testimony, while trying to figure out just how tall she was. She appeared to be 6’3’’, but when I looked down to her feet, I noticed she wasn’t even wearing heels to lift her height; she was wearing sandals. She was at least half-a-foot taller than half of the men in the audience; looking like a tall ass giraffe, grazing the savanna in Pride Rock. I quickly glanced away from her open-toe-flip-flops, looked in her eyes and focused my attention back to her testimony.
“For every one of you,” she continued, “there are thousands of men, or excuse me, males as you say, who constantly make us feel like we are wrong about everything we expect from a man regarding loyalty and commitment. After I broke up with my boyfriend of three years for failing to commit to only me and mention a future for himself with me in it;
my own brother told me, ‘see, all y’all insecure women with high-ass standards act like a man, build up a wall, then wonder why you’re single. No man wants to commit to a woman who can’t treat him like a man and not always try to tell him what to do.’ My own brother told me, ‘when you expect so much of men and have such high and unrealistic standards, then build up a wall to keep every man out; you will never find a husband, because your standards are too high and that’s a turn off to guys.’ I’m even told by many of my girls, who have disloyal boyfriends, that I expect too much of men.
This really discourages my spirit, because I don’t intend to have a wall up, I have just been through so much. I’ve been physically abused in relationships by men; I’ve been sexually assaulted as a teenager. When I found out I was pregnant by the 25-year-old man who raped me; I was kicked out of my house at 16-years-old by my father who wasn’t even there to console me through my miscarriage. All the things I’ve been through are what contribute to my wall. I had to bring myself out of the hell alone, with no help, not from the men in my family, not from any boyfriends in my life. This is why I’m so insecure, because I feel like no matter what man I meet, even of he is willing to love me for me and not just my looks; I feel he will one day abandon me like my father did when I need him most.
I view myself as a queen and a future wife, but the men who like me; I never like them. This is why I’m starting to feel I require too much and some of my standards are way too high for a man to reach. I don’t know if I should lower my standards or what, see; this is why I’m single. How do I lower my standards and lower my wall so I can find a king to marry me?”
“Don’t feel bad about having a wall up young queen. That wall is your PROTECTION from getting hurt again. Once you meet a strong, mentally-mature Man, who EARNS your trust by being patient with you, drowns your insecurities by showering you with loyalty, and melts away your past pain with his burning desire to listen and understand you in a way no one ever has cared to do, to the point he speaks life into your dying trust; your wall and trust issues will come tumbling down.
Males feel your standards are too high for them to reach? Guess what; raise those standards even higher. Your girls with disloyal boyfriends say you expect too much of men? Increase your your expectations of men. You know why? Because only at that point, when you raise your standards and increase your expectations of men, will you repel all weak-minded males who can’t handle you and you will attract only a mentally-mature man, who can reach and exceed your standards with his regal mentally and make you his wife. As long as the standards you have for a man are the exact standards you have for yourself, your standards can never be too high. How can what you expect of someone else be too much to ask, when you are willing to give someone else the exact thing you expect from them? It can’t.
Your standards are NOT supposed to drop, else they are no longer a standard. One standard mentality-mature men undoubtedly have for women is, she does not lower her standards. This means, every time you lower your standards of men, you actually become unattractive to the very mentally-mature MAN you want, and you become available to the very mentally-immature MALES you don’t want, who have no intention to make you the wife you were born to be.
Think of the the wife you want to one day be; the mother you want to be on day; the sister and friend you want to be, and the spiritual woman you want to be. I want you to envision exactly what that looks like; create that vivid picture in your mind and hold it there constantly When memories of past pain come to mind, erase those memories and replace them with those four things you envision yourself to be. Think of how you would act and handle disappointment as that person you envision yourself being in the near future; envision yourself happy and send that thought out into the universe, so it can reciprocate back to you. Create a vision board, and in it, paint the picture of the queen you want to become so you can attract the dream mate you want to marry and the person you want to be to you like a magnet.
Your thoughts are things, so declare them to the universe. Stop holding on to and creating thoughts of what you don’t want and what you are tired of; that is why you get more of those things. You are not the abuse you have endured for so long, you are not your past, you are not the mistakes you have made; you are not the pain people have subjected you to; you are not even a woman; you are a spirit. A spirit is able to become anything the human mind can conceptually create it to be. You can mentally train yourself to be anything you want to become, but in order to do so; you must let go of this idea of yourself as weak and a victim.
Do you remember every gift you’ve ever been given by everyone? Every smile that has been painted on your face by someone? No? Why then do you remember every negative thing that has happened to you? We have to train our minds to stop holding onto the pessimistic thoughts that come to our mind. Stop yourself every time you think a negative thought of yourself and every time you picture yourself as the person who experienced that pain long ago. Be the artist to paint the picture of the beautiful soul you were put on this earth to be.
I know many people in your life misunderstand your strength and your depth. They inaccurately assume, just because you’re so strong and never let anyone see you weak, you don’t need someone to be strong for YOU to lean on. They assume, just because you have a smart mouth, you don’t feel emotionally weak sometimes. They think just because you are the most beautiful woman they have ever seen, you don’t feel so insecure inside, to the point you wonder why any man would ever dream of loving you. Well, they are wrong.
All that you’ve been through no one knows, or even cares to know how much it hurts you. They see your outer beauty as a bright star, yet they have no idea the burning nova of insecurity, exploding inside the dimensions of your heart, because of all the disloyalty you have experienced at the hand of the people closest to you.
This is why you have a wall. Now, I want you young kings to respect this queen’s testimony and use it to help you understand that every woman you meet has a story. If you see she has a wall up, don’t complain about it to her. That wall was built by lying and cheating MALES in her past for a strong MAN like you to break. Once you EARN a genuine woman’s trust through loyalty, cutting off all females you’re talking to on the side, being understanding, letting her vent, and proving you are REAL by being her rock; you will no doubt break down her wall & she will give you her heart and trust you completely.
Queen let me assure you, you’re insecurities, your wall and all your flaws will not keep you from attracting your king; as long as you are willing to be humble enough not to hold actions of males in your past against him, and as long as you willing to be confident enough to let him know you are worth being understood, despite your past. Even though you’re a woman with trust issues and you may posses more insecurities than hours in the day; be confident in knowing you are most definitely worth to a man all it takes to free you from this, because you posses the strength and wisdom
to help make him a strong man. It was put in you by the Holy Spirit, this is your worth and gift to a man.
Your prize and most valuable thing to offer a man is not your vagina as so many weak-minded, wanna-be motivational speaking, borderline-down-low males will tell you.
Your prize and most valuable possession to offer a man is your wisdom. Proverbs 3:18 says,
‘SHE is more precious than rubies & all the things you can ever want or desire can never compare to HER’
Proverbs 4:6 says, ‘Forsake her not, and she shall preserve you: love her, and she shall keep you.’
As men, we have to love and value wisdom the same way we love and treasure a virtuous woman, with our actions and not just with our words; with trust, loyalty, faithfulness and consistency; with all our attention and all our heart, because SHE is the one thing that will make us a Mentally Mature Man.
There is nothing attractive to a mentality mature woman about an immature, ignorant man. Being a man is not about pursuing curves, making multiple women you have no intention to commit to fall for you all at once, getting money, obtaining tangible things; no. Being a Mentally Mature Man is about getting wisdom first, and you will obtain IT through her.
This is why the Holy Spirit chose women to be the carriers of life and the divine and angelic representation of the Holy Spirit on earth as mothers. Weak females birth weak males. Strong women birth strong men.
What makes you a king is not your penis; that simply makes you a male mammal. Just because you can make a woman love sick over you, than prescribe her Dickquil, having her addicted to you like codeine, blind to all the pain you cause her; that does not make you a king.
Proverbs 4:9 says, ‘She shall give to your head an ornament of grace: a crown of glory shall she deliver to you.’
What makes you a king is obtaining wisdom. She will give you a crown of glory as your queen, and the act of getting wisdom is what will give you the discernment to know the difference between a woman of wisdom and a female of immaturity.
I see so many young men who are only pursuing females with just an amazing body, and they can’t see they DESERVE so much more than the wisdom-lacking ‘females’ who they go deep inside.
If you truly see yourself as a king, why do you continue to only pursue hoe-maidens? Then you have the audacity to refer to ALL women as ‘hoes’ and ‘bitches’ collectively. If you’re only pursuing women based off physical features and over-sized sexual organs, who is the real hoe? You are. Cut that whore mentally out of the garden that is your mind; don’t allow the lie that all women, not females, but women are anything less than queens, to be planted in your mind. That thought is a weed. Only pursue the caliber of women that you would like to one day raise your future daughter to be, so she will grow up to be a queen one day, just like mommy.
I see so many taken women who are settling, and they can’t see they DESERVE so much more than the ‘males’ who they choose to allow inside their vagina and inside their heart, can offer them.
If you truly see yourself as a queen, why do you continue to give peasant-male-whores the time of day? You should never cry yourself to sleep in a relationship; you should never feel alone in a relationship. You should never endure verbal abuse, mental abuse, or physical abuse; be called fat, ugly, stupid, dumb, nagging-bitch, over emotional; that most definitely is NOT love. You should never be stuck in the house on a Saturday night with no where to go, if you have a boyfriend or husband. Where is he? Why isn’t he on his job? Oh he’s with his homies. So is he in a relationship with you or his homies? If he can’t play the ROLE of your MAN, don’t give him the title of being ‘your man’. Don’t be so quick to claim a male who is so quick not to claim you. Never stay loyal to a male you would never want your future DAUGHTER to date in the first place, else she will grow up avoiding the good men and giving a weak-minded male undeserved loyalty, allowing him to ruin her chance at ever attracting a king, just like mommy.
Young kings and queens, staying loyal in your relationship to a person who is putting you through hell, being inconsiderate, expecting you to be loyal to them, while they openly talk to multiples on the side; for you to stay loyal to a person who is disloyal to you, that is not admirable. You look silly and weak to your friends. Then, you have nerve to try and give your friends relationship advice? They just look at you like you’re insane. Stop being the laughing stock of your circle. Stop trying so hard to be so loyal to someone who is trying so hard with their actions to show you how much they they really don’t love you and how much you deserve better.
You ever friend-zone someone, and then when they try harder to get your attention, you’re left thinking,
‘why the hell can’t they take the hint? I am obviously showing them with my distant actions I don’t want them!’
This is the real reason why, when you try so hard to be loyal to someone, they destroy your loyalty and trust in them by behaving unfaithful. They are thinking,
‘why the hell can’t they take the hint? I am obviously showing them with my distant actions I don’t want them!’
When someone treats you like trash, take them seriously; they’re not playing. I never understand how you Queens with ‘boyfriends’ are always so bored and lonely at night, especially on the weekend. If you are a man’s ONE & ONLY, he will plan his whole week around spending time with you on a Saturday night; trust, and where he is at night and on the weekend is where his heart is.
What do you think a relationship is? The man you love is the one who should keep you entertained at ALL times. You’re too beautiful on the inside young queen, to settle for a peasant male who has no relationship skills; doesn’t cuddle with you at night; can’t take you out on a REAL date on the weekends, can’t stop liking half naked kangaroo looking females pics on Instagram long enough to text or call you; has been with you for nearly a year and has yet to mention either marriage; or plans for engagement, or at least a life together with you anywhere in his future; lacks the wisdom to know making you his girlfriend is NOT a commitment, as only a faithful marriage, free of cheating and dishonesty is a true commitment; but you’re still with him, because he’s ‘cute’ & ‘buff’ ‘tall’ & ‘the D too bomb’.
Have better standards for yourSELF. Self standards is the new sexy. Have enough respect for the real men out here, to stop only allowing weak males to commit to you, then bashing ‘most MEN’ based off the behavior of the few MALES you CHOOSE to date and ALLOW to have your loyalty.
Young queens, don’t spend all day thinking about that one male who can’t even make you the only one woman on his mind, let allow in his phone.
Young kings, don’t waste your heart and commitment on weak minded females, just because they have enticing looks and an attractive body. Please don’t allow a woman’s insecurities, standards or her wall to scare you away from providing her with the love from a man that has eluded her all her life.
A woman’s wall is a window she hides behind; break down that glass, shatter her insecurity and build her up with confidence as her strength.
A woman’s insecurity is an obscurity, constantly blinding her of her true worth; melt away her insecurity with your burning passion of love, acknowledgment and appreciation of her inner beauty, never giving her any doubt she is the only woman who can arouse your intrigue and peak your attraction.
A woman’s high standards are the key to her heart and the guidelines she herself lives by; do not allow this to discourage you from proving yourself able to reach her high standards; use her high standards as a treasure map to find the uncut diamond hiding inside her rough flaws.
Faithfully commit yourself to a strong minded, loyal woman, who can value and respect your manhood, and speak life into your inner king.
The worse thing we as men can do when our woman is expressing her feelings to us is to not listen to her; hang-up on her; interrupt her; ignore her texts & calls, or walk away from her when she’s expressing her feelings to us. It makes her feel like she’s not being heard or understood. It makes her frustrated to the point; it feels like she can’t swallow or breathe correctly, because you’re not hearing her. Young kings, I respect a man who doesn’t need to argue or raise his voice to express his feelings to his calm & respectful woman. That’s the type of man I look up to; enjoy chilling with; conversing in depth with; learning from.
If your primary form of communicating with your woman is to ARGUE with her, and then when it’s her turn to express herself calmly and respectfully to you, you walk away? You’re not a Man; you’re a little boy throwing a tantrum. When a woman respects you & your manhood, you will never have to tell her,
“shut up”
“you’re so childish”
“stop being so emotional”
Nor will you feel the need to ignore her words. She will shut herself up & listen without you even having to ask her, she can can soak up wisdom from you once you prove to her with your actions you have something substantial to say to her, to the point your words give her life. That’s when you know you have EARNED your woman’s respect. But to speak your mind, yell at her, argue with her, then when it’s time for her to talk; you walk off or ignore her; you’re proving to her how wrong she was to open up & trust your ass in the first place.
We have no idea how HARD it is for a woman to share her thoughts and feelings, when she has lived her whole life with no one taking the time to understand her. When she was little, her mother constantly cut her off; never allowing her to express herself. Every man she ever had interest in always cut her off when she was in mid-thought, because he was too concerned with himself, he had no intention of listening to her. This is why strong minded women develop what you may consider a ‘smart mouth’. In reality, she’s not rude at all, it’s just; she is so used to not being heard, the only way she is able to speak her mind is to do it forcefully, because it feels like she can never get her true feelings out fast enough for someone to listen.
Some males assume a Smart Mouthed Woman is that way with everyone; this is not true. A Strong Minded Woman knows how to code switch. She can bite her tongue at work; though she wants to verbally slap the hell out of her co-workers. A woman treats you how she feels you are as a man. If you behave like a weak-minded boy, she will verbally walk over you. Yet, a woman can feel when she is in the presence of a MAN and not just a MALE. If you demand her respect with your actions and kingly assertiveness; she will never ever disrespect you with her words. The key to achieve this is to only pursue a strong minded queen to court, who will not bite her tongue, nor hesitate to speak her mind, yet, has the humility and tact to express herself humbly and respectfully. Once you find that queen and she opens up herself to you; don’t cut her off; don’t walk off. Let her speak. Then, make sure you say,
“I understand exactly how you FEEL and where you’re coming from.” Then say rather you agree or disagree. Support her; give her feedback and wisdom to understand if need be, but get it out of your head that you need to interrupt her to, say ‘your side’, to rebut everything she says or to correct her when you feel she is wrong. You are not her judge; you are not in her life to tell her when the personal feeling she is expressing is wrong. How a person feels based off their experience is never wrong; it may be off kilter, but it is genuinely how they feel. Change the environment around her so she has better experiences, but never try to change how a woman says she feels.
Don’t be a man who always has an excuse or a rebuttal when your woman opens up to you. Get it out your head that you have to save her, or rescue a woman, or always correct her expression of her feelings. It is not our job to CORRECT her or ARGUE with her. Sometimes she needs us to be caring enough as her man to just LISTEN.
As Strong Men of faith, we must remain confident, yet HUMBLE at all times. No success we achieve is by our own will young kings. The reason you can speak to a woman with such authority and she will acquiesce her emotions to you is, because the ONE who created you put the voice of authority in your mouth.
Hebrews 4:12 says, ‘For the word of God is quick powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the HEART.’ Meaning don’t use your voice of authority to speak doubt, pain, emotion, sadness, control, pimping, insecurity and lies into a woman’s heart. That is pride, one of the seven deadly sins. SPEAK LIFE INTO YOUR WOMAN’s heart to break down her wall, so she can trust in true love and you can lead her deeper into the word, once you two become equally yoked.
“I feel like our women are so broken, because they’re constantly watching reality TV, which depicts our queens as sex-craved, money hungry hoes. We can’t let the White man keep projecting this image into our minds,” a 12th grade, African-American boy with a receding hairline complained, during public speak I did for a couple hundred high-schoolers at a BSU assembly.
“As Black men, we need to stop blaming White people for all our problems. YOU are your own problem and your own solution. If you are unsuccessful, it is not because of what anyone else has done to you, it is not because what a White person has done to you; it is, because you procrastinate and allow the spirit of laziness to sow seeds of self doubt in your mind, to the point ambition is impossible to come to fruition,” I replied.
“Being a Black man does NOT mean you have to be a thug; or feel inferior; or be ignorant, or sag your pants; or degrade and use Women, or refer to the entire female sex as ‘Bitches’, or be a criminal; or be a Pimp, or slang; or only play sports. Being a Black Man does NOT mean using your race as an excuse for each instance someone doesn’t acquiesce to your level of procrastination. Just because you speak well does NOT make you ‘less Black’.
Too many Black people have a false self identity, because they are never taught about their history before slavery, when their history was royal and their thoughts were regal. Yet, when your ancestors were brought to this continent from their motherland, their identity and culture was stripped from them, along with their language; their families were ripped apart, sold away and separated; their God-made spirituality was stolen from them and replaced with man-made religion; so they don’t know who they are. Thus, some perpetuate stereotypes.
Young kings, you are more than the ‘nigga’ you call yourself. Your ancestors were the first people to walk the face of the earth; you descend from Earth’s nucleus. You consider yourself a man-of-God, yet you fail to realize you are God’s chosen people; the original Hebrews spoken of in scripture. Hold your head high; think and behave like the King you are.
Take responsibility for your own life; man the hell up. Throw on a button up, get a fresh cut and start making LEGAL money. Your life will most definitely improve once you stop making excuses, blaming others for your flaws and start working on SELF. Do you want a beautiful woman who has her own success? Well, no Beautiful, successful woman is attracted to a man who doesn’t have his OWN and can’t take responsibility for his own actions. You are a natural born leader, not because of your race, race is a silly reason to be a leader; you are a natural born leader, you are kings and queens, because you are a child of The Holy Spirit.
Being a Black Woman does NOT mean you have to behave ratchet; or rude; or loud; or feel insecure; or be illiterate; or behave ghetto; or be uneducated; or degrade yourself and use your body to make money, doing things you wouldn’t be proud of your daughter or your mother doing; or allow yourself to be called a ‘Bitch’, as long as the word ‘bad’ is a prefix preceding it; or only have boyfriends who are thugs, or a criminal, or a Pimp, or who slang or hit licks. Just because are educated does NOT make you less Black.
Many Black females, not women, but females have a false sense of self identity, because the idiot box, reality shows, WorldStar clips & music videos portray all women, including Black women as Big Breast, huge ass, long weave having sex objects, who don’t speak; just twerk to the hissing sound of dollar bills being rained onto her and when they are allowed speaking parts; they are projected to sound loud, ignorant and uneducated; constantly shown bobbing their head, pointing their fingers and rolling their neck, as if they have tourettes.
All of this is done on purpose. Males, not men, but males who control the media want to portray Black Women as a new school Sara Baartman, and just like Sara Baartman; the Black Woman today is a mystery. Her shape is simultaneously mocked, yet desired. Women get ass injections to emulate her natural build. Women get lip injections to emulate her full lips. Women get tans to emulate the natural hue her skin possesses. She is taught she is low, inferior & nothing and yet, without her, no man or woman would exist. The Black Woman is the mother of all humanity; the first woman to exist. Young queens, you are much more than your body; you are more than the ‘bad bitch’ you call yourself. You are the life giver; divinely chosen by the Holy Spirit to give life. You ARE strong; you ARE beautiful. Hold your head high, think and behave like the Queen you are. Smile in knowing that despite the fact you’ve yet to met a male who can respect you and understand you for who you are, your inner queen will repel weak-minded males and attract mentally mature men.
Too many of us males are not a MAN. Being a MAN means having the mental maturity to stay confident and secure in one’s self, despite anyone’s judgment of you. Too many of us males base our every action, speech, how we treat our women and how we live our lives off of what other males think of us. This is SLAVE THINK.
Black males, not Black MEN, but Black males subconsciously want to be accepted by society at large and have a strong need for who they are as a male to be validated. So what do they do? They project a thugged out persona. Instead of learning knowledge & studying a craft, they pursue illegal hustles. They complain the pimp game and drug game are the only ventures of income available to them, despite the fact universities are willing to pay their full tuition to a university via scholarships, so they can fuel their ambition. They have unprotected sex religiously, as if they’re allergic to condoms. They avoid faithfully committing himself to one woman, in favor of impregnating multiple women, with no desire to raise their child, despite complaining all their life their father never wanted to raise them. They consider avoid being romantically chivalrous to a woman they’re interested in, because their homies call that being a ‘simp’.
Understand this young kings, talking to a woman with respect is not being a simp. Taking a woman out on a date where you plan and pay for everything is not being a simp. These weak-minded, scorned males are confused. When you tell these all-body, no-brains, kangaroo looking females they’re beautiful, just because they have a fat, curvy butt; that is being a simp. Telling every woman what you think they want to hear, just so you can have sex with them; that’s being a simp. Putting your male friends and their opinions on relationships over a good woman; that’s being a simp, being a coward and honestly; that’s Down Low behavior. Don’t let these insecure, unintelligent Black males paint a false picture of manhood in your minds young kings. They lack the wisdom and discernment needed to give you any advice, as avoid engaging in spiritual conversation, mental ascension, intellectual activity and reading a book, as their homies call that ‘acting white’.
This mentality stems from when their ancestors would get lynched for reading a book, by their slave master, as the slaver didn’t want his nigger to be able to read and understand that he was a human, not a black object, which is the definition of the word nigger. For this same reason, the mentally enslaved don’t like reading, because the slave master of today doesn’t want black males to read and understand that he is greater than the slave master, but who is the slave master of Black males today? It is other Black males. Yes; let that sink in.
Who kills more Black males then anyone else? Other black males. No, not just black on black crime. The concept of ‘black on black crime’ is an ignorant concept. When Asians war against each other, is it called Asian on Asian crime? No, it’s called crime. When Germans steal from on another, is it called White on White crime? No, it’s called crime. So, the entire usage of ‘Black on Black crime’ as an idiom is idiotic. Still, Black on Black crime, if you will, is not the number one killer of Black males.
The number one killer of Black males is ABORTION.
Too many Black males force the woman they had unprotected sex with to either pop the Plan B pill like it’s a Molly, or to get an abortion. Who teaches Black males to dog, degrade and disrespect their own women? Other black males. Too many rappers teach young black males to treat and refer to their queens like nothing more than bitches and hoes who, if she isn’t giving him money, ass or sex, she is useless to him.
Who teaches Black males to neglect their responsibilities as a father? Other Black males; their OWN fathers. As soon as a slave had a child, slave masters would sell the child’s father away, so the newborn baby male would never have the direction and guidance of a man to be a man. This is why Black males are born daily, yet so many never mentally mature into being a man, because they never receive the guidance and direction from a man to be a man.
As a West-African Hebrew man, I do my best to be a living example that their are Intelligent, classy, successful Black men who can simultaneously love their culture and respect the magnanimous White men and women who have helped me or any of my ancestors in anyway. I can have this respect for White people, because even though both my maternal and paternal ancestors were slaves, not every White person alive are the defendants of slave owners. Many White people are the descendants of their White ancestors who fought against slavery and have love for all of humanity. I know this, because I have the wisdom to understand a White person may have different cultural experiences than I do, yet they are no different than me, who I really am, they are just a spirit in a different color body as me, and spirits have no race.”
“Ebrahim, I do feel you are a good example that real Black men exist, but you’re the exception not the rule,” a 12th grade Eritrean girl complained. “Most Black Men don’t respect us women the way you do; they treat us like we’re ugly, unless we have the lightest skin and the fattest ass. Most successful Black Men want to marry a White queen, not a smart mouthed sista such as myself, and it gets discouraging, because even tho I’m very confident in my mind and my beauty; it does break me down when I see men of my own race, and my own blood brothers talking down Black Women. Why is it that so many Black men, or excuse me, Black males as you call them, why do so many of them treat us Black women like they hate us?”
“The reason so many Black males treat their own women like they hate you is because they genuinely do hate you; they hate themselves; they hate their culture and they were taught this hate of self, because they were never taught who they really are,” I responded.
“Your teachers teach you that your ancestors were stolen from Africa, force-fed man-made religion and brought to America, because they were needed to pick cotton. That’s a lie; besides being brought here for their amazing skill in mathematics to act as city planners to help build this great nation; your ancestors were stolen from their way of life and brought here to incept a thought into your minds; that you are only good for your body and not the spirit inside your body; which is who you really are. Slave masters didn’t want men; they wanted niggers, black objects. They wanted property to do their work. This is the mentality of a pimp.
The word ‘Pimp’ has ironically become a huge term of endearment in many circles, particularly in our generation, through Hip Hop culture. I genuinely disdain when random males see me being social at an event with the type of beautiful women they objectify as a Black object; nigger, and they use the word ‘Pimp’ as a noun to describe me or an adjective to describe my interaction with these women.
I take that word as an insult to me, not a compliment. It has become far too common for males with low confidence levels to use ‘pimp woman-breaking tactics’ on confident, successful, breathtakingly beautiful women, by mentally breaking these women down with verbal assaults; picking at the wounds of their insecurities and flaws, so they inadvertently give weak-minded males who are out-of-their-league the time of day.
This is the reason far too many Black males talk down their own about Black women; telling them they’re only good for their body, not their spirit. This is the thought incepted into the minds of their ancestors post-Middle Passage. When a Black male talks down a Black woman, he does so in attempt to convince himSELF why he doesn’t want her. When in reality; it is not that he doesn’t want her, he just knows he genuinely lacks the substance to attract her and meet her standards.
It’s the “don’t fire me, I quit” mentality. These males only ‘quit’ and fail to show respect to a strong minded woman, because they know damn well they can’t play the position; are intellectually unqualified; are morally bankrupt; are romantically insufficient and under esteemed. How can you young kings use pimp tactics in attempt to attract women and expect to be considered a ‘grown ass man’? That’s weak game; that ‘Pimp’ mentality will never work on a woman who knows her worth. She’s only attracted to men, not males, but men with confidence and humility. She sees straight through that overly macho; false confidence; insecure-male pimp game.
The reason some Black Men want to marry a white queen is, because they genuinely fell in love with her. This idea that the reason Black men who marry White women do so, because all White women are so timid and submissive, and all Black men are too weak to handle a strong Black woman; that idea is the most racist, hateful theory one could ever conceive. For a woman to let such hateful words come out of her lips, shows not only her racist spirit, but her lack of sisterhood.
How can a woman say she doesn’t want to be lumped in with the behavior of ‘all women’ and yet she can begin, conclude or connect the subject and predicate of a sentence with the phrase ‘all white women’? That’s asinine. Is it true some Black Males choose to not date women of their own race, because they as weak-minded males are scared of strong minded women and are racist against their own race? Absolutely. Is it true some Black Males only choose to date White women, not out of love for them, but out of disdain for women of their own race? Certainly; yet the rare behavior of the unenlightened should never be the assumed mean behavior of the majority.
To blame another race over and over, and over for why our own lives are the way they are is the definition of insanity and the exemplification of racism. To deny racism exists is idiotic; to deny that there are indeed White people who are racist and have pure, unadulterated hate for Black people because of the color of their skin is unintelligent. Yet, to blame a whole race of White people for the hate only some White people possess is just as racist and hateful. Racism cannot wipe out racism; an eye for an eye will leave the whole world blind to the fact hate cannot conquer hate, only love can conquer hate.
As black men, we must stop blaming white people for the state of our own race and we must regally ascend to mental royalty. The whole world would bow to your level of wisdom, but it is now up to you to behave like the king you once were; this starts in the mind. Think like a king, stop thinking like a nigga, which is a Black object. Stop objectifying your Black women. Stop objectifying yourself, promoting yourself as only good for playing a sport or performing a sexual act, all objectifying characteristics, like a Black object; nigger.
The key to create a king is to birth one. Yet, only a queen can give birth to a king and only a king can groom a male into a king. Let us stop calling our queens bitches, treating her like she is our slave; Black object; nigger. Let us stop objecting our women, judging her by her ass, breasts and body, like she’s a Black object; nigger. Don’t you know slave masters used to only see your women as objects? Don’t you know your women were once sold like objects to the highest bidder? How can you then sex traffic your own women, and sell their body to the highest trick? You’re not a pimp, you’re a slave master; sex trafficking is the new slavery, and you are no better than the people who sold your ancestors into slavery.
As Black people, we have to let go of this misconception that all White people are racist, evil and against us as a whole; that is a lie. Were slave masters White? Yes, but so were some of the people who helped fight to free slaves and end slavery. Quakers were White women who not only freed slaves via the Underground Railroad, they also helped end British slave trade in 1807. This is significant, because America has always been and still is under British rule. If you can’t look past the color of a person’s skin to see the spirit inside of them, you are the one who is racist, not them.
Race is just a concept; spirits have no race. We are all spirits, wrapped in the human form, like a gift wrapped inside a box. Who cares what color the box is? It is the treasure inside that is to be valued, not its container. We are not Black men, White men, Italian men, Latin men, Asian men; we are not even really huMAN beings. We are spirits, being human for a short time, while our spirit is on vacation in this dream called life on earth.
Do not allow your experiences in this dream to incept the thought in your mind that you are your race. Your body is simply the temporary clothes for your spirit. Clothes do not define the person who wears it. Just because you wear a black shirt or a White shirt, does not define who you are inside. Likewise, just because your spirit wears a Black body or a White body, that color does not define the body inside.
Please don’t mistake race for culture. Culture is your genetic origin, either regionally or biologically. Culture is your customs; your tradition; your linage; your inheritance. Race is merely a concept that divides and separates. Culture is an origin that unites and synthesizes. Embrace your culture; your self identity is hidden in the tangled fibers of its weaving. Yet; do not allow race to blind you of seeing a spirit for what it is, a colorless form of energy; divinely created to be worth more than the color of the skin the spirit wears as clothes.
Hold your head high; mentally ascend out of the stem state into your frontal cortex thrown and be the kings and queens you were put on earth to be. Be strong. Be confident. Be a Black MAN; be a Black Woman; not just a nigga.
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Beautiful Women, you just know your pretty ass is “Wife Material”, because you have a gorgeous face, curves, cakes, big breasts, long hair, stunning looks, flawless make-up, fiercely fashionable wardrobe and a nice shape to show it off; to the point you can just attract any man you want, don’t you? Well, sweetheart you are sadly mistaken. All that alone is just “Smashing Material”.
Are you ambitious? Are you in school? Do you have a job or career plan? Are you doing anything to better yourself? Can you cook? Do you have intelligence? Do you posses mental depth, patience and discernment? Do you have mental maturity? Do you think for yourself? Do you speak your mind with tact and humility? Can you offer the very things you expect from a strong man? Can you make a Man better? Help him grow? Give him words of wisdom? Can you bring him closer to his spiritual side? Can you speak life into a man? Are you that Proverbs 31 virtuous woman?
That is wife material to a mentally mature man. Any female can get chosen for sex; only Queens get chosen for marriage by a mentality mature king who compliments her worth. A woman in tune with herself as a spirit, who has intelligence, ambition and creative passions is just everything life has to offer; she is the queen every mentally mature man prays for. The fact she has only been committed to by nothing but weak males all her life and has yet to meet that real man, just proves her great worth. She is worth so much, it has taken her dream man all this time just to improve and grow to be good enough for her.
By: Ebrahim Aseem Follow@fuel4thebody
“I’m more than just a fit-thick girl with a nice ass,” a curly-haired Creole woman complained, during a public speak I did for twenty dozen college women. “I’m so tired of being labeled because of my looks. I’m in medical school;pursuing a career in pediatrics, I have a cooperate job with great benefits, I pay my own bills and I’m a God-fearing woman, but; I still can’t seem to find a man worth my time. It’s discouraging, because while I keep hearing my girls tell me, ‘women with ass are wife material, that’s why skinny girls are single, girl you have just what it takes to attract any man you want’; I feel that’s only half-true. The guys who want to take me out for a date I’m not attracted to, while the men I really want lack ambition and are no where on my level. Ebrahim, what am I doing wrong?”
“What you’re doing wrong is listening to your ignorant girls,” I answered.
“Some females think they’re so much of “a catch” or so deserving of being faithfully committed to, solely because they’re so breathtakingly gorgeous with amazing bodies. Yet, if you have no substance behind your beauty, if you have nothing to offer other than your body; how are you wife material? How are you a catch? You’re not a catch; you’re a throw back in the ocean. You’re boring; you’re witless; you’re just a mannequin.
If you have nothing to say; no mental depth; scared to tell a man when he’s wrong; afraid to speak your mind; it is imperative you continue to you work on yourself first, before seeking commitment, let alone marriage. Some mentally immature females wonder, where are all the good men? Hiding from your boring ass, that’s where. He’s a mentally mature man and your ignorance annoys him. Your lack of substance makes him see right through your amazing body and breathtaking beauty. Your mental immaturity turns him the hell off; your lack of intelligence makes him not take you seriously.
If a man doesn’t take you seriously, he will never faithfully commit himself to you. He’s barely physically attracted to you; your physical appearance attracts him so much and he wants you so bad physically, yet your lack of substance makes him disgusted by the sight of your tangible appearance. You may be very pretty and have an amazing body, but you must understand; there is a HUGE difference between a woman being “pretty” and “attractive”.
Food can look amazingly pretty, yet if it lacks flavor & substance, it is unappealing and unattractive. A female can look amazingly pretty, but if she lacks flavor and substance, she’s unappealing and unattractive. As a chef, one of my biggest pet peeves is tasting fried chicken in a restaurant that is so delicious looking and well seasoned on the outside skin, yet it tastes bland and flavorless; lacking substance on the inside to attract me to eat it.
As a mentally mature man, one of my biggest pet peeves, before I decided to faithfully commit to my queen, was seeing a beautiful woman who was so attractive looking and gorgeous on the outside skin, yet once I approached her pretty ass, her mind was so bland and flavorless; lacking substance on the inside to attract me to commit to her.
If that metaphor went over your head; you may not be attractive to a mentally mature man, as he is aroused by mental stimulation. Mentally mature men are attracted to a woman of substance, with wisdom and wit, not just ass and tits. Mentally mature men are attracted to women with old souls, not young minds.
Attraction has less to do with your tangible appearance and more to do with your ora, spirit and mental depth. A woman who can think for herself; catch on quick; read people like a book; look through someone and tell if they’re lying to her and full of B.S.; pick up on subtle humor; notice everything, even little things most don’t; have quick wit; posses a strong mind, what some may refer to as a ‘smart mouth’; always take a conversation deeper than just “so, what’s your favor color”; can arouse a man’s intellect, that woman is attractive and will undeniably be committed to by a man of her mental caliber.
A woman’s body can only stimulate a man’s sense of sight; a woman’s MIND can stimulate & activate a man’s chakras and pineal gland. If you don’t know what your chakras and pineal gland are; you may not be attractive to a mentally mature man. Give a mentally mature man more than just something he can FEEL.
There are reasons you see the most handsome men, married to women you may consider ugly or unattractive. When you see them walking together cuddled up, you may say,
“Eww what is that GOD of a man, doing with that wildebeest of a woman?!” Or you may think,
“How does that Precious looking heifer have a fine man like him, while I’m still single and lonely?”
It may be because she has more to offer him than looks; it may be every single man breathing is not the vain dog you assumed we all are. It may be she stimulates his mind so well, respects him as a man so much; he genuinely fell in love with her beautiful spirit, despite her less than perfect physical appearance.
A true marriage is not between two attractive humans; a true marriage is between one’s spirit and the Holy Spirit who created that spirit. Once a person meets that one who is just as married to the Holy Spirit as they are, the fact they are equally yoked to the Holy Spirit is what makes their marriage genuine and validates their union.
You will, however, see promiscuous females married to immature, weak-minded males, who posses the handsomeness, muscles and physical physique your eyes are attracted to. Those two people may deserve each other more than you deserve him, considering they’re both unequally yoked. Why is it your concern who an immature, weak-minded male marries anyway?
That second you spent holding a thought of why an immature male you don’t want, is married to a weak female you don’t want to be like; that second could have been spent holding a thought of how to edifying yourself and be even more of what you want to attract in a someone else. QUEENS get blessed with and sent a KING by the Holy Spirit to find her, once she is completely emotionally available and spiritually ready to realize she is a good thing. Her readiness will be proven by her ability to attract that man she wants; her inability to attract a king will be proof to her she is not yet ready to be found by a king, as she still has more mental maturing to undergo.
Sweetheart, your looks are a blessing; your curves are a weapon. Your butt is legit; your body is theshit; but if you’re not much deeper than what my eyes can see, you’re most definitely not the woman for me.
I’m the mentality mature man I am, only because I have so many amazing Black men as role models in my life. My brother who is an amazing writer, my cousins who are fathers; my West African Hebrew brothers, who are husbands and business men who go into the poorest neighborhoods and mentor young Black and Latino boys, speaking life into them; my uncles, my mentors and my friends of all cultural backgrounds, who are leaders for their families.
So, when I constantly see a few females men bashing; it disappoints me. A few females think, how MALES treat them is how every MAN is, which is untrue. There is a distinct difference between a MALE and a MAN.
A MALE thinks with his penis head.
A MAN thinks with the head connected to his brain.
A MALE is only attracted to a physically appealing female, with the body parts and skin color he likes, who can stimulate his penis head.
A MAN only wants a strong minded woman, with the substance and wisdom he likes, who can stimulate his mind, so he can go deep inside her mind with mental penetration and stimulate her intellect with spiritual conversation.
A MALE will only do to you what he thinks he can get away with. He treats you how he feels you allow him to treat you. Yet, how a MALE treats a woman is NOT a reflection of her worth; it is a projection of his own worth. Virtuous women deserve to be respected at all times, if she gives respect & carries herself with respect.
I dedicate my life to teaching young kings to respect & understand a WOMAN of integrity. Conversely, a woman and a female are not the same.
A FEMALE is lead and fueled by her emotion.
A WOMAN is lead and fueled by her intuition.
A FEMALE will say she’s never known love, yet she’s raising a child who loves her more than life.
A WOMAN has so much love in her heart to give, she can treat her nieces, her bestfriend’s baby girl, the plants and flowers in her garden, or even her pet dog like they are her daughter; because she knows, how a person treats an innocent child, flower or animal is a reflection of their kindness, compassion and love for self.
Trust me when I tell you a MALE will play the role of a good man when he first meets you young queens, and you can tell because he will say over and over, “I’m different” and “why can’t you trust me and let me in?” Yet, once his acting skills fade, his lies and untrustworthy behavior will shatter your trust and make you regret ever opening up yourself to new love yet again. But a MAN will never allow himself to be disloyal to you, because he knows as a MAN, his word is everything.
A MAN, not a MALE, but a man will show you his flaws from the beginning and never hide any of his short comings, because as a MAN he is so confident in himself and his ability to self edify and grow; he knows the consistency and loyalty he has to offer you as a woman not only overshadows any of his flaws; he knows his wisdom and ability to listen to you without interruption and understand you, instead of judging you, is what will bring out your inner queen.
So many of my cousins are married to their children’s mother and they are loyal; Intelligent, Handsome, Strong; Providers. But, here’s the thing; these strong-minded men are ONLY attracted to deep thinking spiritual women, who value their worth as a man. Referring to every man on earth as a “dog”, because the 3 EXs you allowed to commit to you dogged you, will never attract you a mentally mature man. Conversely, your flaws and smart mouth will never deny you a mentally mature man, because he is willing to accept you for who you are, flaws and all.
I’m confident you queens will be blessed with the mentality mature man you deserve, despite being subjected to a lifetime of weak males. I live my life as proof mentality mature men exist, and I have several dozen young, handsome, intelligent men I am currently mentoring and grooming who think just like me. This is my purpose in life. When these men ask me how to attract a queen, I tell them, ‘In order to attract a queen, you must stop repelling them with some of your behavior.
The only thing a Woman hates more than being ignored by the man she really likes, and having her texts ignored while she sees us liking pictures of multiple women on Instagram, is when we as men make promises to her and don’t come through. What makes us a MAN and not just a MALE is our word.
Don’t just promise a virtuous woman anything, because it sounds good at the time young kings. Actually make your word your bond, then go out of your way to come through for her. A woman will plan her whole week around a promise we made to spend time with her. Never make a woman with trust issues regret and question why she ever trusted your ass in the first place. Young king, you DESERVE the woman of your dreams, who will always respect you; but to attract that, it takes being trustworthy.’
Now as a queen you must know everything you expect from a man, you must also be willing to mirror and reciprocate back to him. When women like yourself ask me how to attract a king, I tell them, ‘In order to attract a king, you must stop repelling them with some of your behavior.
The only thing a Mentally Mature Man hates more than being compared to all your immature MALE EX boyfriends who broke your trust, is when a woman doesn’t support his ambition.
What makes you a WOMAN and not just a FEMALE is your compassion. Never hesitate to tell a Man of Faith when he’s wrong AND ALSO never hesitate to show your support of him when he’s right, when his actions are amazing; when you’re proud of him. Don’t doubt his dreams; support his ambition. Don’t just want a man once he’s MADE IT; support him on his journey before he HAS IT.
Speak life into your king. Never make a man who’s never been loved & appreciated by a woman for anything other than his bomb sex & money question your motives, like all my ex-girlfriends did me. Queen, you DESERVE the king of your dreams, who’ll always respect you; but to attract him, it takes SUPPORT & HUMILITY.”
Young kings, please don’t be discouraged by the few immature females in the world, who constantly degrade us MEN by projecting the behavior of weak-minded MALES onto us. They mean no harm, it’s just so hard for a woman who has only known pain all her life to be optimistic that a real man exists.
Her life is like a living hell, and every day she wakes up to a life where no one listens to her or understands her, and everyone sees her for her outter appearance, blind to her intellegence and mental depth. Her life experiences make her doubt there is anyone of the male species who can understand her, because no male ever has, not even the males in her own family.
She may think you’re just a MALE from the moment you approach her, but I promise you, if you show a woman; not a female, but a mentality mature woman you are different, not with your words, but with your actions; she will show you a level of love you never thought imaginable; that first Corinthians 13 type love. It will at that point be up to you to either give her the faithful commitment she deserves, or to let her go, so a man willing to commit to her can.
If you meet a loyal woman who is wife material, make her a wife before you make her a mother. Don’t wait years to commit to her, because she knows her worth and she will leave you once she sees you have no intentions to commit to her with marriage. Wives are born. Strong Women birth and raise wives. A woman knows she is wife material and worthy of commitment. You think a weak minded girl is “loyal”, because she stays with you without a title or commitment? No; that’s not loyalty.
When a woman really loves you, she is loyal to your level of commitment, not your ego. She will not allow you to slight her, use her, waste her time or be with her without commitment, because she knows as a king, you deserve a WIFE; not a “main”.
A MAN can know a woman for less than six months, and already know he will make her his wife. I know this, because that is how I feel about my queen. I meet her within the last six months, and I didn’t hesitate to faithfully commit myself to her, because I have no intentions of having her question, “what are we?” like males do.
A MALE will be with a loyal woman for seven years, have four children by her, talking about, “we aren’t married yet, because I’m still getting to know her”. What the hell are you still getting to know about her? You wouldn’t want your daughter done like that by a man giving her four children and zero commitment: just commit to her. If you shower a woman with commitment, she will spoil you with love and loyalty.
Of all the amazing advice my father gave me; he told me his biggest regret was failing to give the one queen he met, my mother, the level of commitment and leadership she deserved from him as a man. While seeing me off at my senior prom, he made me promise I would never make the same mistake of choosing to chase multiple women over faithfully committing myself to a queen, once I finally met her. I refuse to be like my father and let a woman who is WIFE material walk out my life. My mother raised a future husband; not a future baby daddy.
I am an author, and I do Public Speaking events in the San Francisco Bay Area.
For Public Speaking inquiries & booking, contact me AEAseem@gmail.com
I post TWO new articles every Thursday, here is my podcast:
Click on they PLAY button to hear now! ==>
To download to your phone: click on download bottom ARROW in top right hand corner of the podcast bellow
Click on my picture of me and the woman who raised me, my moms bellow for more!
thought provoking articles like this,
Or to read a preview of my book, which should be available April 14, 2014 on Amazon.com
Follow/add me on Facebook and request your free copy ASAP
I like conversing with DEEP Thinking Young Classy Men, such as myself.
“Most” of us MEN are NOT ignorant “Most” of us MEN do NOT disrespect women, lie, cheat & use women for money. “Most” of us MEN are NOT content with being a “baby daddy”. “Most” of us MEN NOT afraid of commitment. “Most” of us are NOT uneducated; or incapable of formulating a properly articulated sentence.
There are mos def strong, tall, well-groomed, intelligent, ambitious men, who want a wife & children, who know how to think DEEP and be a LEADER for his family & a rock of strength for a woman. Real men do exist, But kings ONLY approach Queens who can appreciate & respect our kind & not degrade our kind.
*To HEAR this article, instead of reading the long text* Press play bellow ===> https://bitly.com/1jQV25r+
When I speak to large groups of women, they constantly tell me, as a compliment, “I appreciate you, because MOST men don’t understand us women, MOST men want a bunch of side hoes, MOST men are ignorant, can’t read us & are not as articulate of their thoughts as you.”
And I’m thinking, “so how is this a compliment? You talk down my sex.”
Consider this, if you heard someone walk up to you and say, “I appreciate you, because MOST (people of your race) don’t understand (this), MOST (people of your race) want a bunch of side hoes, MOST (people of your race) are ignorant, can’t read & are not as articulate of their thoughts as you.”
Would you consider that a compliment? Of course not. You would be offended. This is how you sound to the man of your dreams when you say MOST men are a certain way. This is how you sound to Idris Elba. This is how you sound to Chris Hemsworth, when he hears you say “most men” are a certain way.
Have you met MOST men? There are 3.5 billion men in this world, have you met most of them? 50%? 20%? 1%? Even if you met one million men in your life, that’s not even 1% of the amount of men who exist, so stop saying “MOST” men are anything. What you mean is, MOST men YOU encounter are that way.
So ask yourself, do I posses the exact characteristics of the type of man I want to meet and attract? Even if you do posses all of that you want in a man, if you EVER think or say “MOST” men are a certain way; THAT alone will repel that very good man you want, as no one is attracted to someone who feels MOST of their kind is a certain way. Yeah; that’s the problem.
Now, you can either make an excuse, “well, maybe if most of you men didn’t act….” You sound ignorant, you’re still so prideful you can’t take responsibility for your actions can you? You sound just like the males who say, “well, maybe if most women didn’t act like….” And you wonder why you have yet to meet the exact type of real man you envision yourself with.
HE WILL NOT APPROACH YOU until you stop assuming MOST men are not like him. That’s unattractive & repelling to a king. Just as a man saying most women are bitches is a turn off to a queen; a woman saying most men are ______ is unattractive & repelling to the very man you want.
When we see a female lacks possessing ALL these characteristics we bring to the table, we walk in the opposite direction of her. If you’ve yet to attract this type of “real man” you want, ask yourself, “do I myself posses ALL these characteristics I want in a man?”
Consider this; if you heard a man say, “MOST women are intimidated by a strong man like me. MOST women are afraid of commitment. MOST women are dogs and hoes,” would you be attracted to him? NO; you would be offended, turned off & not want to give him your time, because he’s degrading your kind right?
Well, this is why you REPEL the man you want. If you often say, “MOST men are intimidated by a strong man like me. MOST men are afraid of commitment. MOST men are dogs and hoes,” you are & will offend & turn off the type of real men you want, because you are degrading his kind.
Be what you want to attract. How the hell do you expect to attract the type of man you do want, when everyday all you do is complain about the actions and choices of the very type of man you don’t want? BE what you want to attract, else BE content with your dream man forever eluding you.
I am an author, and I do Public Speaking events in the San Francsico Bay Area.
For Public Speaking inquiries & booking, contact me AEAseem@gmail.com
I post new articles every Thursday, here is my podcast:
Want to attract your dream mate?
Listen to my deep baritone voice tell you exactly how
Click on they PLAY button to hear now! ==>
To download to your phone: click on download bottom ARROW in top right hand corner of the podcast bellow
Click on my picture of me and the woman who raised me, my moms bellow for more!
thought provoking articles like this,
Or to read a preview of my book, which should be available April 14, 2014 on Amazon.com
Follow/add me on Facebook and request your free copy ASAP
These DMs, inbox messages & emails are getting out of hand. So let’s make this clear:
I AM NOT ON INSTAGRAM, FB & TWITTER TO FIND A GIRLFRIEND OR FEMALE BESTFRIEND NOR TO “HOOK UP” OR “MAKE A VAGINA APPOINTMENT”
So ladies, please do NOT find yourself in my email specifically for public speaking booking or in my DM sending me naked pictures I didn’t ask for; saying you’re “trying to get to know me”. Intellectual conversation is welcomed, and compliments of my purpose to SPEAK LIFE are humbly appreciated by me. However, there is so much more to me than what you see of me via social networks.
I use my social networks to SPEAK LIFE into young men & women & also give any Life Coach advice to anyone. Nothing more, nothing less.
Feel free to share your testimony with me, ask me for advice, and share your feedback of anything I’ve ever said or written, that truly humbles me in a way you have no idea; but you can keep the pick up lines & the nude pictures to yourself, I don’t want them. I like to approach women and date IN REAL LIFE. Not on social networks. Besides, no one wants to see your ashy vajayjay pics anyway.
I’m constantly asked “why aren’t you married yet?” Just because I’m not yet a husband, does not mean I’m down to use my platform or notoriety to sleep with every beautiful woman I meet; because I’m not. You must have me confused with your favorite ‘cant-sing-live-in-concert’ R&B artist; YUP! Him. That’s not me. My mother raise me to be a king, not a hoe.
What makes one a king is not pursuing multiple hoe maidens to build a harem; What makes one a king is a pursuing that ONE queen.
“A man who finds a wife finds a good thing; and obtains favor in the Holy Spirit.” – Proverbs 18:22
Do you think you’ve already meet your soul mate? As in do you think the one you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with is someone you already know? Because I know I have.
Ever since I have been blessed with the platform to speak life into young men and women on an international scale; I have known any woman I meet from this point forward, will not have the opportunity to meet me before my reputation proceeds our acquaintance.
And even tho I’m not married to who most definitely is my future wife yet, I refuse to allow the poor behavior of seeking attention from multiple women online turn off my future wife. I’m loyal to her, even before marriage.
You have to be loyal to the idea of your dream mate, Even before you ever meet them, so once they walk into your life, you will be available for them.
Being single doesn’t mean not having love. You’re single because you’re STAYING AVAILABLE for that ONE dream myou deserve. Dream houses stay vacant, until they can be occupied by that ONE who can value it’s worth.
If you were in a relationship right now, then in a month, you meet your DREAM MATE; they will walk out you’re life, because you’re taken.
You being SINGLE is ATTRACTIVE to your dream mate; it is your best quality. Single means being LOYAL to your future husband or wife, who you’ve yet to meet. You young kings and queens deserve your dream mate. Please never settle for less than you know you deserve, because I promise you, once you are worth what you deserve, you will be blessed with it and have what it takes to keep it for eternity.
The Most Beautiful Successful & Loyal Women have never been taken out on a real date.
“Many females are gold diggers, too stuck up, so how can I approach? If you don’t have a big bank account to spoil on them, they won’t let you ask them out,” a tall, muscular, Australian futures trader asked me at a public speak I did for a group of business men, through a third-party cooperation.
“The Most Beautiful Successful Women have never been taken out on a real date; not because they are gold diggers, cocky, stuck up or unapproachable. Beautiful Women are actually the most approachable, sweetest, friendly, financially independent, caring women,” I responded. “As men, we must be chivalrous enough to ask her out on a REAL date, plan and pay for everything. But don’t “ask” her; be confident and say,
“I would like to take you out on a date this Thursday to hear live music after dinner, a deep conversation and a walk on the boardwalk; what time are you available?”
You don’t ask a woman out; you ask her what time she’s available. This is out of respect, because a woman has the right to take however long she wants getting dressed. Perhaps her eyebrows are a bit bushy, and she needs to see her specific threader, maybe her toe nails are a bit on the eagle claw side and she needs a pedicure; but she’s DESERVING of a date, so to even ask her the question, as if it is in question, is disrespect. Let her know when you want to take her out, then give her the option to let you know if she feels you deserve to be graced with her presence on a date.
Never tell a woman:
“Let’s meet up”
“Let’s hang”
“Let’s kick it”
“Let’s chill”
No, ask her when she’s available for a date.
She is NOT your ‘bro’. Treat her like a woman. Don’t ask a woman, ‘so where do you want to go?” No, you plan it. You pick the venues and events; yes events plural. Please do not take a woman simply to a movie on a first date young kings.
She doesn’t know you from a random stray yorkie on the street; the last thing you want to do is spend two hours with a woman sitting in a dark room, not talking to her and not looking at her. She might as well have stayed home and watched Scandal in the comfort of her own bed, cuddling with her cat or dog. At least then, her phone would be fully charging, instead of it dying while she’s dying inside; stuck sitting next to a male with not enough romance to take her somewhere exciting for a date.
Women long for spontaneous acts of romance. She’s both an intellect who needs to be mentally stimulated, as well as a goofy young woman with an inappropriate sense of humor, who needs to be stimulated with sarcastic wit and a dash of randomness.
“So why should I pay just to sleep with a woman? Most women let you sleep with them on the first night free of charge anyway,” a British man with a heavy accent asked.
“You’re not paying for sex when you treat a woman on a date,” I answered. “See, diamonds are pursued, because their worth is clearly valued and treasured. You are treating her to a date, because she is DESERVING. If you spoil her with consistency and attention, she will spoil you with love and loyalty. Sure a promiscuous female may sleep with you on the first date, but a mentally mature woman knows; you don’t deserve to lay with her, if you’re not willing to take her out on a date and prove to her why you deserve any of her time.
We have to check yourselves as men; some males only commit to a woman, not because he is ready to be faithful to her, only because he doesn’t want any other men having sex with her. The reason some males are hesitant to commit to a woman is, because he knows he is afraid of love and afraid to get his commitment broken; but he wants to have sex with promiscuous women, because he knows they will never ever break his heart, as they only want sex. It is up to us to be strong-minded men, and not be so emotional, we are hesitant to commit to a woman. Be sure of the real reason you don’t ever ask a woman out on a date; it may just be, because you’re afraid of love.
To listen to Ebrahim Aseem’s very first radio interview, click play bellow:
When I’m on a date with a Woman, I like to make her laugh; see her cheese and smile hard. I like to hold her hand and hug her close, so I can feel her heart beat through her chest and onto mine. I like to look her in her eyes the whole time we deeply converse and wax sarcasm. Little things like that make taking a woman out on a date so special. You may think that’s corny, but women prefer a corny man over an arrogant asshole who is too afraid to bring her a bouquet of flowers, because he doesn’t want to be called ‘corny’ by his male friends.
I want you young kings to know, there are women out there who think good, successful men like you don’t exist, and that is because we as men have to step it up with our actions. What defines a king is not his physical physique, nor his sexual prowess; what defines a king is his actions matching his regal thought pattern. Many young women have never met a good man like you, and are starting to doubt whether or not chivalrous men like you even exist.
I received a tweet recently from a young Canadian woman who really humbled me. She asked, ‘@EbrahimAseem can you tell me why beautiful women who want commitment will never be asked on a real date, but a stripper will?”
Reading that made me feel guilty as a man, not just because of the sad-face emoji that preceded the tweet. It was because of the sincerity in her tone, and even though her statement doesn’t directly apply to me or reflect my own behavior; the fact so many women feel this way, makes me see I’m not doing enough as a man to show young kings, the importance of faithfully committing yourself to a woman is; it will teach us the discipline to mentality mature as a man and the responsibility that can help us in our career, education, family and every aspect of our lives.
Some males are too scared to even ask a woman out, so he instead will say, ‘you wanna grab lunch?’ Males do this for one of two reasons: he is either very shy and inexperienced in dating a respectable woman, or he wants to use the friend-zone role against a woman, so she can never expect commitment from him.
As men, we have to make our intentions with a woman crystal clear. From the moment we first take her out on a date; she should know whether or not it is a platonic date, or if there is any romantic interest involved. Don’t waste her time; tell a woman on the first date,
‘Sweetheart, just as clear as I can see my reflection in your deep brown eyes, I can clearly see you are deserving of commitment and faithfulness from the man of your dreams. I want to get to know you to see how compatible I am with you, in efforts of pursuing a possible relationship with you in the near future. I understand this may take time, however, I intend to take you out on dates consistently and court you, affording you the ability to clearly see for yourself if I’m worthy of your commitment.’
After you tell her this, respect whatever decision she makes. If she let’s you know she doesn’t want to pursue anything further with you; do not stalk a woman, blow up her phone, try to communicate with her on various social networks and make her fear for her safety. You’re just proving why she was initially correct in not giving you the opportunity to pursue anything with her.
Conversely, if she does let you know she wants to pursue something with her, do not waste valuable time you could be spending getting to know her, trying to have sex with her.
If you really like a woman, don’t text her repeatedly asking her, ‘so when are we going to be able to romantically express ourselves with each other?’ Don’t text her repeatedly asking her to send you pictures; and please don’t send a woman pictures of your penis she didn’t as for.
If you really like her, walk into her job and surprise her with flowers. There’s a 1800Flowers app right in your phone. Show up to her job during her lunch break with her favorite flowers in hand and say, ‘Good afternoon gorgeous, these are for you. Now, grab your coat and your cell phone from the charger; I’m taking you out for lunch today. What time are you taking your lunch?’ Again, don’t ASK her out, ask her what time she’s available to go out with you.
It’s always males who have never attracted a successful, intelligent woman of substance who say, ‘I refuse to spend money on getting to know a woman; I’m no woman’s trick.” Understand this young kings; it is NOT tricking to spoil a woman who is deserving of being treated, its all about hospitality. If I invite you over my house, I’m going to cook for you, correct?. I’m not going to tell you to order a pizza; nor am I going to make you go half on a pizza with me. You are blessing me with your company, so it is only right that I be hospitable enough to treat you.
Likewise, if you ask or invite a woman out for a date, why the hell would you ask her to pay for her own food, or pay her own admission? She is blessing you with her company and her presence. Understand, it is not up to a woman to pursue a man and give you attention to let you know she likes you. The woman is the treasure, and is to be pursued as such. I have never seen a diamond have to find a man who can treasure its value and appreciate its worth. Good women are diamonds in this regard.
If you see a woman is caring, loyal and deserving; let your spoil adorn her. A grown woman with her own money, should not always have to spend her own money. Make her call off work, but give her what she would have made that day at work, and then some. Then, surprise her with a trip to a snorkeling resort with a spa, mani/pedi treatment, so you she can enjoy spontaneous entertainment that day, before you treat her to a live jazz show that night.
Women are not gold diggers, a weak-minded female who lacks self ambition may be a gold digger, but an ambitious woman is not. Regardless, a woman’s pockets should never affect how much you spoil her with. She can make good money; still spoil the hell out of her, and when she wants to do something special for you, she will spoil the hell out of you; but you’re not doing it so she will sleep with you or commit to you. A woman knows whether or not she will ever sleep with a man, commit to a man, or if she will never give a man a second date based off how you behave on the first.
If when the bill comes, and a woman asks you, ‘how much is our bill? I’ll pay half,’ and you are cheap enough to ALLOW her to pay half, she will smile at you, pay it and never give you a second date. You just failed her test; oh yes. A woman has little tests she administers on a man, to see what type of man he is. Of course she has her own money; she just wants to see whether or not she is in the hands of a man, or a cheap ass little boy.
Never disrespect a woman by making her treat herself on a date you asked her for. She thought you were asking her out to prove to her why you deserve any of her time. Don’t make her regret giving you her number in the first place. If you’re not going to pursue a woman with enough consistency to take her out on a date within a week of her showing you with her hints and actions that she likes you; she will feel you are waiting her time, and she will cease to respond to your texts.
Text etiquette means everything to a woman of the twenty-first century. Even if she has a major crush on you, she still wants you to text her first. Loyal women are old-fashioned; they love to be pursued. However, if a woman does text you back and hours go by and her text just sits there unread; laying in your phone, like a homeless man on a park bench; meanwhile she knows, that you know, that she can see you liking multiple IG honeys’ pictures on Instagram; she will at that point put you on her ‘un-datable’ list on the tablet in her mind.
Don’t complain to a woman, asking her why she never: texts you back, comes to see you, or returns your calls; that’s unmanly. It’s not that she’s ‘ignoring’ you or ‘curving’ you. She is genuinely just tired of you wasting her time. She’s not ‘going ghost’; loyal women simply know a male doesn’t deserve her time if he isn’t willing to put in the consistent effort to earn it. You have yet to take her out on a real date, you have yet to articulate to her you want to date her exclusively and you still have yet to completely cut off your EXs. She can tell you obviously are not mature enough to commit to her, so don’t be surprised when she treats you like a stranger.
Inconsistency is a turn off to a loyal woman. The Idea women are more attracted to men who don’t show them any attention is false. Yes, it is attractive to a woman when a man is busy with his career and education enough to be married to his ambition, yet makes time for her. However, if you are giving random girls on social networks the time and attention you could be giving her; it will completely turn her off to you.
The more attention you give a woman, the more likely she is to allow her feelings for you to grow. When you take a woman on a date, or spend time with her in any way, she should have your full undivided attention. Not half your attention on her, half your attention of every notification that pops up on your cell phone. Your phone should not even be visible when you and her are spending one on one time; that is her time. You’re on a date with her, not your phone. It’s a turn off to a woman when she hears your phone notifications constantly going off while she is giving you the time and attention every man in her phone wishes they were getting from her. She wants to know if you can be loyal to her before a commitment with her.
The worst thing you can do to a strong-minded woman is insult her intelligence. Don’t try to lie or run game on her when she questions your loyalty. Don’t lie and say, ‘I need to check my phone, it’s business.’ She knows it’s not your job texting, by the consistency of the frequent notifications. She knows back to back iMessage notifications when she hears them, and no job would be that redundant in communication.
Even if it is business, what the hell does that have to do with her? When you’re in a business meeting, you would not take time out of it to respond to her texts, nor would a mentality mature woman want you to. She can respect your ambition; besides, that time is meant for your business to have your full attention.
Likewise, when you choose and commit to a date with a woman, you are promising her your full, undivided attention. You allocated that time for her and marked that date on your calendar for that specific time to spend with her. If you needed to handle business, you should have chosen a later date; but never rob a woman of time and full attention she deserves, as you may be the very man who restore her faith in real men and true love.
Last spring, I went out on a date with a Beautiful Eritrean Woman. I met her at Target, when I saw her shopping with twin snotty-nose babies who were touching everything she rolled the double stroller by. I really loved how much she was laughing, smiling and enjoying being goofy with the identical young children she was caring for; so I approached her. After introducing myself to her; to make her laugh, I said, ‘wow you have two beautiful children,’ very loudly, then I whispered to her, ‘but you need to put their little monkey asses in check, like Rafiki did Simba with his bamboo stick.’
She laughed extremely loud when I said that, to the point people in the store started staring at us. This woman’s smile was breathtaking pretty, with the beauty and grace of a Disney Princess, yet her laugh resembled the ratchetness of the hyenas from Lion King. After coming down from her laughgasm, she replied, ‘I can’t discipline them in any way, they are not my children, I’m a professional nanny.’
To which I reply, ‘then you need to professionally spank their little asses.” At which point, she started laughing uncontrollably yet again. Young kings, it is imperative you pay attention to the signs a woman gives you. I have noticed once I make a woman have a ‘Laughgasm’ I can tell she wants me to cut to the chase and ask for her number, so I did just that. After which, I bought the four of us Wild Cherry ICEEs, because the only reason I walked into Target in the first place was strictly for an ICEE.
That same day, I called her and invited her out on a date for later that night. Young kings, please do not use the lame ‘three day rule’ to wait and call a woman after you get her number. That rule is complete and utter B.S. She’s not going to think you’re too anxious if you contact her that day; she gave you her number to use it, so oblige her desire.
Once you get a woman’s number, don’t use it exclusively to text her; use it primarily to call her. An initial text is fine, but if you do not call a woman once she gives you her number; she will not take you seriously as a man. She’s not looking for a texting buddy; she’s looking for a man to potentially give her all to. Knowing this, I called her that night and invited her out on a date, but even though she said yes; she called me back thirty minute before our date and told me she was very busy.
We ended up rescheduling three times before we had our first date two weeks to the day, from the first day we met, and I talked to her on the phone everyday up until our first date. Understand, just because a woman is busy every time you ask her out, doesn’t necessarily mean she is flaking on you. You don’t know how challenging it is for a woman who is in school, works a job, and has her own business she is starting up. You don’t know how hard it is for her to find time in her busy schedule to free up more than an hour or two. As men, we have to be understanding of a woman’s schedule, never make her feel guilty for being ambitious and having a life outside her dating life.
Once I finally took this East African woman out, I treated her to a date to a Chakra Yoga Spa before dinner and live music on the boardwalk. I planned and paid for everything, and not only did we have a great time; I had her having laughgasm session the whole not. That is my secret weapon and I want you to use this as yours young kings. I’m hilarious, witty, goofy and extremely sarcastic on a date with a woman. I do this to show her my true nature, so she knows whether or not she wants to continue to get to know me.
When I picked her up from her house in East Oakland, I greeted her with Tiger Lilies and a box of chocolate dipped strawberries I made for her, to share my love of cooking with her. Giving a woman flowers and chocolate is not corny, it’s considerate; and that chivalrous behavior is what women look for in a man.
Our yoga spa date was fun and relaxing. They taught us how to tap in to our pineal gland to promote mental ascension and how to get in tune with our chakras and have them aligned; needless to say, it was extremely deep. After yoga, we ate dinner on fisherman’s wharf, followed by a walk by the water and a two-hour conversation overlooking the San Francisco Bay. The most memorable point in the conversation for me was, when she looked deep in my eyes, and while fighting off a smile; she told me, ‘Ebrahim, I want to thank you for tonight. You really restored my faith in real men; I’m glad to know true love does exist in our generation, this is what it should be like.’
Even though I am single and enjoy going out on a fun date with a young woman, I don’t take every beautiful woman who wants my time out on a date, because in the back of my mind; I’m looking for a WIFE. Each woman I meet, I want to see if she is wife material, because I know damn well I am I’m husband material.
By the end of each first date with me, women realize; I’m not one of these typical males they are used to who are just saying all the right things so he can get her undressed. By my actions they can clearly see, I’m on a higher mental level than the males they have been exposed to, because I’m not looking for a girlfriend, I’m looking for a wife. This is what you want to embody when you take a woman out on a date young kings. The way you can get the exact queen you deserve is by showing her there’s a distinct difference between you, and every other male she’s ever met through your intention to commit to her and your ability to spoil her.
If we want our sisters to be taken out, if we want our daughters to be spoiled; as Men we must to set the first example. How you treat a woman is how your sisters will allow a man to treat them. Young kings, you have to consider that you deserve your dream woman; you deserve the caliber of woman who merits spoiling.
I will spoil the hell out of my future wife. Give her my card & let her go on shopping sprees, so she can take my sister with her. I want my woman fitted and fashionably fly at all times. If your woman is tacky & unkempt, eyebrows & nails messed up, looking like eagle’s claws gripping the bottom of her open-toe heels, tracks all showing, weave looking all wild like Mufasa’s mane; it reflects back negatively onto you as a man. The woman you pursue is a reflection of you, your ambition and your level of class, or lack thereof.
The sign of a mentally mature man is one who can commit to something, commit to a major, commit to a career, commit to a creative discipline and commit to a loyal woman, respectively. Don’t just make her a friend with sexual benefits, while stringing her heart along.
Make it official with her, and once you do; be all in. Don’t lie, cheat or talk to women on the side. Don’t make her your ‘main’, or your ‘number one’; cut off all your self-proclaimed side hoes & make her your ONE & ONLY. Take her out on a REAL date, where you plan & pay for everything; not just to your house for sex.
Commit to her; define what you and her are. Don’t make a woman feel like she’s not the only one. Don’t tell her ‘we don’t need a title’; it’s not about a damn title, it’s about loyalty. All a loyal woman really wants is consistency and attention. Don’t have her wondering all day, ‘so what are we?’ Show her off; make her feel special in front of her friends. Kiss her and tell her you love her in front of your bros; don’t switch up & treat her differently in front of your friends. Don’t hide your relationship with her. Compliment her everyday, let her know how much better she makes your life. Make her smile & happy all throughout the day; never make her sad, frustrated or feel she has no one to talk or vent to. Be the one she can talk to about her problems, listen & give solutions to her; speak life into her heart, so it vibrates through her whole body to the point she feels you give her life.
A taken woman should never feel alone or lonely while in a relationship with you. If she is loyal to you, be loyal to her. The worst feeling to a loyal woman is questioning if you are out there making her look stupid to everyone for choosing to be loyal to her. Never wait until it’s too late to show a woman how much you really love her. This is not being soft, this is not being a simp; this is being a MATURE man.
We have to wake up & come to the cognitive realization that proving our manhood to other males by disrespecting women over and over, cheating on women over and over, and entertaining the company of multiple women over and over is the definition of insanity. What proves our manhood is how much we can humble ourselves to the one who gives us all life, a woman.”
I want young queens to know it is not your fault as a woman you are single. It is, however your responsibility as a woman to remember: a male will only treat you how you allow him to; he will only constantly do to you what he feels he can get away with.
One reason so many males are so hesitant to commit to a woman, is because some females allow males to sleep with her without commitment, never challenge him to be a man and meet minimal standards, and accept any kind of treatment and disloyalty from a male.
If you are so unhappy being single, you can’t enjoy your life and feel as though you “need a man”, you are not ready and fully healed for a serious relationship. Start loving your true self and stop trying to find a man. You will never need to find a man, the man you deserve will find YOU. I never seen a diamond have to find a man who can treasure it’s value and appreciate its worth. Good women are diamonds in that regard, but even a diamond must know its own worth and what it deserves; commitment.
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I am an author, and I do Public Speaking events in the San Francisco Bay Area.
For Public Speaking inquiries & booking, contact me AEAseem@gmail.com
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Ebrahim Aseem
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